never could be sweeter than with you.
[ boys being, after everything, deeply in loveā feat. ace!draco. ā” for the @drarrymicrofic april prompt: hiraeth. ]
drarry | word count: ~430 | rating: t | warnings: reference to past internalized ace-phobia
title from āhomeā by edward sharpe & the magnetic zeros.
_ _ _
āI always thought it was my fault, you know. That something was the matter with me.ā
Harryās eyes drew up to him, a pained crease striking between his brows. āDraco.ā
Draco shifted on the sofa, his feet tucking beneath the velveteen pillow at Harryās side. āNo, Iā listen. I only mean, it felt like it then. I had so many reasons to be an excellent Occlumens. It was just another.ā
Harry folded his paperback closed, allowing Watson and Holmes to wait. āTell me,ā he said, hand falling soft on Dracoās ankle, soothing.
Draco sighed, fingers running up through his hair, a nervous tic he suspected by now heād never break. āI hoped it was the war, for a long time. What a horrible thing to hope. But if it wasnāt the war, it meantā¦ it meant it was just me. That there was something wrong with me.ā His hands curled tightly around his mug of tea, warmth steadying the shake of him. āI needed there to be a reason so badly. I wanted to want like other people.ā
āYou can want like you,ā Harry murmured, and then, making a circle of the jut of his ankle, āI like the way you want.ā
Draco smiled in spite of himself, but it washed easily away. āYes, but then. Well. Even after Iād goaded myself into tolerating it, I was afraid that no one else would. Harry, itās absurdā I was so convinced it made meāā
āUndesirable?ā Harry offered, with a playful poke to his shin.
āPiss off,ā Draco huffed, grinning, his wooly-socked toes kicking soft into Harryās side.
The fireplace crackled warmly, washing them in gold-orange light. Harry thought, I could let it go. Thought, He already knows.
But then:
āIt doesnāt. Make you undesirable. Not to me. This,ā he said, gesturing to the sitting roomā the book, the tea, the sofaā his hand falling meaningfully back to Draco. Their home. āItās all I want. Itās so much more than I ever thought Iād have.ā
āDo you know I missed you?ā Draco answered, non sequitur.
āWhen?ā Harry asked.
Draco shuffled, easing into the cushions, his elbow cast comfortably over the backrest. āAt nineteen. And fifteen. And when I was twelve.ā His head cocked sideways, a wistful smile overwhelming him. āWhen I was eight. And five.ā
Harry tugged at the hem of his pajamas. āYou didnāt know me then.ā
āMhm,ā Draco hummed. āI was missing you much longer than Iāve had you.ā
Harry reached for his hand then, pulled his fingers softly to his lips. āWeāll fix that,ā he whispered, a promise, a plan.
