leaves their dirty clothes on the floor derekkkkk and his stupid gross workout clothes that penelope reFUSES to touch because that's disgusting derek, this is way worse than wet towels on the bathroom floor!!!

forgets to run the dish washer penelope - before they moved in together, penelope's apartment didn't have a dishwasher so she handwashed everything. now all the dishes delightfully disappear into the dishwasher after dinner but she forgets 90% of the time to hit the button after they're in.

pumps gas for the car derek. penelope's not allowed to say that he has a complex about it anymore... but he totally has a complex about it. it's the government suv thing, she thinks, there's something about it that he finds really satisfying standing next to it in his stupid attractive aviators looking like he owns the whole world as he pumps gas. (penelope's not saying she doesn't LIKE it, just that it's pretty obviously a Thing)

drives when they’re going somewhere derek but to be honest, penelope HATES driving. she trusts derek at the wheel way more than she trusts herself considering her drivers ed lessons were mostly her stealing her parents car and puttering around a church parking lot at midnight while her idiot boyfriend at the time screamed at her to HIT THE CLUTCH over and over again while she stalled out.

rearranges the furniture penelopeeeeeeee which derek pretends he hates but he has to admit, is always interesting coming home to. when she and derek moved in together forever ago, they both brought a lot of stuff with them - conflicting stuff, if you go by penelope's quirky, brightly colored taste and derek's more luxury dudebro stuff (aka giant leather couches that penelope liked to call "tre chic and tre boring" and that derek maintains loudly that he bought because they were comfortable penelope!!!) and so mixing them together - even now, years later when they have accommodated and compromised a thousand times over decor - is a hobby of penelope's. she likes to see how their different stuff can mingle in different ways and still look good and feel good and work well together. (like them, really.)

falls asleep with the TV on both of them. work is hard. tv is dumb and delightful. they curl up on the ridiculously huge couches that derek campaigned for for months (but they're not leather, so penelope held out mostly for the entertainment value) and watch excellently terrible action and sci fi movies and fall asleep cuddling

gets to use the bathroom first penelope because 1. she showers at night while derek showers in the morning, and 2. in the morning she, as a good and decent human being, agreed that her makeup routine could happen in front of the mirror in their bedroom and did not have to happen in the bathroom, allowing derek the full 45-50 minutes he needs to get ready every morning ("what are you doing," penelope teases from down the hall, "waxing that cute little head of yours?") which apparently is top secret and even years into being married penelope STILL doesn't know the full extent of

decides the temperature for the ac/heater supposedly penelope because she's the one who gets up to fidget with the thermostat - but derek is REALLY bad at hiding when he's cold (he pretends that he's macho and can survive through anything but really he buries his freezing feet under cushions and penelope's butt and hunches his shoulders and looks glum and penelope just can't deal with how cute and pouty he looks when he's too cold) so she just gets up and turns up the heat, to derek always saying "c'mon garcia, it's not that cold in here!!!!"

sets up holiday decorations penelope makes derek do it. what can she say, she likes decorations a LOT and also rather enjoys watching derek stretch and bend to set things up to her liking.

leaves the lights on penelope. but with their job, derek doesn't say anything about it - he just turns them off when he gets home at night and curls around her in their bed, murmuring reassurances.

uses the bathroom with the door open this is not an issue that they deal with. (penelope has made sure of it.)

so just take my hand you know i will never leave your side

living la vida ashleigh

It is the night before they are due to make land at the Earth Kingdom and Katara has been contemplating how far she would get from the ship if she was to through herself from the bow into the murky waters below. She is a more than competent Waterbender – a master in fact – and she knows that she would not drown.

Her fear is how many men on the ship would give her chase.

She isn’t sure how long she has been standing under the moon and the stars staring into the depths of the ocean and she almost falls over the railing when a pair of arms come to rest next to her own.

HIT ME UP GIRL

do the right thing, marie. measure the circumference of the table first.

telling my mom i had sex for the first time was the most awkward moment of my life, probably because it included the phrase "i'm not entirely sure i'm not still a virgin"