#aroace link

Zelda was raised to be a proper lady, with the etiquette and actions befitting a princess. Always stand up straight, only speak when spoken to, always be in a floor-length dress with a full face of makeup, devote all attention to studies and prayer.

And never, ever, have impure thoughts.

It started as a stirring in her stomach, and a rush of feelings she couldn’t quite identify whenever she looked at Link. She chalked it up to her initial hatred of her appointed Knight.

But after they grew closer, Zelda realized it might be something else. Her stomach didn’t twist in disgust at the sight of him. No, it fluttered in joy and anticipation. Her palms sweat when he spoke. She wanted to spend all her time with him. She could hardly think of anything besides him: the way he stood, the way his hair moved in the wind and framed his perfect face, the way the Champion’s tunic was just barely too tight around his arms and chest, the way he smiled at her when they were alone.

The way something deep inside her throbbed with need, whenever she thought too hard about him.

She never did anything about it, back then. Shame burned hotter than her desires. Every adult she knew parroted the same thing: it wasn’t ladylike to have thoughts about sex. It was sinful, and it was wrong. Her attention should be spent on prayer, not a silly crush on her knight. It didn’t help that everyone thought Link was a girl at the time. Such a relationship would never be allowed for Zelda; she had a duty to her Kingdom and to her bloodline.

And then the Calamity came, and they both lost too much time saving the world.

Now, many, many months later, she and Link were safe and happy. She was deconstructing her religion, her upbringing, and her worldview. She was healing and growing. Her feelings for Link returned tenfold, more persistent than ever before.

~

Zelda was reclined comfortably in the shade of the big tree right beside their house. The sun was just barely peeking over the mountains, casting long shadows across the yard. She was trying to work out the steps of her next experiment, but she couldn’t concentrate more than three seconds at a time. Her attention was chained to Link. He had started their evening outdoors by practicing sword forms, but he had gradually devolved into doing cartwheels and flips across the yard.

Zelda couldn’t contain her thoughts any longer. She took a deep breath, and the words burst out of her before she could think about them.

“I want to have sex with you.”

Mid-cartwheel, Link turned frantically to look at her, then gasped and crumpled hard onto the grass.

Zelda’s heart skipped a beat. Before she knew it, she was kneeling by his side, hands hovering over his back. Link was curled on his side in the grass, clutching his wrist against his chest.

“Link! Oh, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have—Are you alright?”

Link grimaced as he pushed himself up with one arm.

Zelda’s hands went to his shoulders immediately to steady him. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

Link shook his head. “I’m okay.” He flexed then stretched his fingers, then winced and gently rested his wrist in his lap. “Just a sprain, I think.”

“I’m so sorry, Link.”

“Not your fault,” Link mumbled. His gaze stayed fixed on his lap. His lips moved to the side as he chewed the inside of his cheek nervously.

Zelda let her hands fall off his shoulders. “I don’t know why I said that, I just—”

Link jumped to his feet, arm held protectively against his chest. “I’m—I need to wrap it. Inside. The med kit—yeah.” Link rushed inside.

Zelda watched him go, then flopped backwards onto the grass. Why did she say that?

Zelda didn’t know what to do. Should she follow him? Give him space? Should she pretend nothing happened and try to move on while the unspoken feelings continued to eat at her from the inside?

She flung an arm over her eyes and sighed deeply. Why couldn’t she ever say anything right?

The door creaked open. Zelda darted up. Link was carrying the first aid kit, a jar of white chuchu jelly, and a hand towel as he awkwardly shuffled towards her.

“I didn’t think you were coming back right away,” Zelda said as he approached.

Link shrugged. He sat down beside her and opened the kit.

“Can I help?” Zelda asked.

Link held his wrist out for her. “Yeah.”

They were silent as Zelda wrapped his wrist then applied the ice. Link mumbled his thanks as he rested his wrist on his lap. He still wouldn’t look at her, but then again, he was never one for eye contact.

Zelda picked at the grass between her crossed legs. “We should probably…”

She glanced up at Link. He was frowning at the grass. Zelda’s chest ached and she turned her head away to hide her blush.

“I don’t want to have sex,” Link said.

Zelda bit her lip. Tears welled in her eyes, and she desperately willed them away. Her chest ached fiercely. She forced herself to look at him. This was important, and she needed all the data she could get to analyze his reaction.

Link continued. “It’s not you, I just…” Link’s lip curled as he grimaced. “I don’t want to have sex with anyone, ever.”

“I—I understand.”

Link scooted closer, until their knees were touching. The contact tingled pleasantly as Zelda leaned into him.

“I like what we have now,” Link said. “I don’t want our friendship—whatever this is—to be messed up.”

“Neither do I. But… I…” Zelda took a deep breath and steeled herself. “I want to have sex. My body wants it. I don’t know, I… it’s all I can think about sometimes. Not necessarily always with you, I just…”

“If you want to have sex, go do it. Just come back and still live with me.”

Others often found Link’s bluntness abrasive, but it was one of Zelda’s favorite things about him. She never had to dig for what he really wanted, or be left guessing at the true meaning behind his words. He said exactly what he thought, nothing more and nothing less. Zelda yearned to be half as brave as him.

“I don’t… I’m not attracted to anyone else,” Zelda explained. “I know some people can go out and—and have a one-night stand with a stranger, but that’s not me. I want to know the person first.”

Link fiddled with a loose string on the edge of his shirt.

Zelda tried to wait for Link to respond, she really did. The anticipation burned through her body until she couldn’t contain it any longer without bursting into tears.

“I’m sorry. I wish I hadn’t said anything, I—”

“Hey,” Link interrupted. “It’s okay. I’m glad you told me.”

Zelda’s heart leapt. “Really?”

Link nodded, but he was still frowning. “I like that we can tell each other everything. It feels special.”

Zelda smiled, and huffed a laugh that was just a tiny bit watery. “Me too.”

Link bit the inside of his cheek again. “Since you were honest with me, I’m gonna be honest with you.”

Zelda nodded. “Yes, please.”

“Um,” Link hesitated. “It makes me really uncomfortable that you’re… attracted to me in that way.”

Zelda's heart dropped through her stomach. Her breath caught in her throat. Her brain stuttered to a halt. She ruined everything.

Desperately, she tried to backtrack. “It’s not going to change the way I treat you, I promise. We can just forget I ever said anything.”

Link frowned harder and chewed at the skin on his lip. He glanced at her, then glanced away just as fast. Finally he scooted away from her and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I can’t do that, I… I, um. I want… I want a little bit of time away, I think. I’m not mad, I promise, I just… I’m gonna visit Teba.”

Tears pressed fiercely against her eyes. Zelda sniffed and wiped them away harshly. The sting of the rejection was dull, its sharpness weathered by an entire childhood of repudiation, ostracization, and avoidance. Guilt churned in her stomach. Anxiousness for their future together commanded every thought in her mind. Above it all, one phrase repeated in her head, over and over and over: you ruined this, too.

“Please don’t spiral about this,” Link said, cutting through her thoughts. “I’m not mad at you. I’m coming back, I promise. I just…” Link hummed and flapped his hands. “It feels bad.”

“Of course.” Zelda’s voice wavered, her gaze dropping to her lap. “I’ll be waiting here for you.”

Link didn’t speak for a moment as he shook out his feelings. “I’ll take the slate. Do you want me to drop you anywhere?”

Zelda shook her head. Her throat burned from holding back her tears; she didn’t trust her voice anymore.

“Okay. Okay, um. I’m gonna go, then. I’ll come back soon.”

Link left.

Zelda cried.

She didn’t move until the sun dipped below the mountains. Even then, all she did was shift to lie on her back. It was only when the nocturnal crickets started their songs that she peeled herself off the grass and went inside. She rushed through her nighttime routine in a haze and collapsed on her bed. She curled into a miserable ball under the covers and clutched her stuffed sand seal to her chest.

Zelda stared out the window for hours, a million thoughts and feelings swarming in her head. She counted the stars, tracing familiar constellations, as she tried to calm her mind enough to sleep. It didn’t help that the bed felt empty and cold. The sheets fell in a way she wasn’t used to without another person to hold them up. Zelda curled tighter around her sand seal and sighed shakily, then went back to tracing the stars.