front porch, 8:47pm
for @catdragonartist who requested the time and place and the waffles :D
_X_
Lukas likes a good party, likes meeting new people, and setting up a solid vibe with his music. He can party with the best of them, is absolutely ready to party hard whenever and wherever. Lukas has thrown his share of absolute ragers. (Bitty texted him last year to say that Ransom and Holster actually wept with joy and pride when they heard about Epikegster 2k19.) But he has a secret.
He actually likes low key haus hangouts more.
Tonight is one of those slower nights. A rare weekend without a kegster or a game, exams are far enough away that he doesnât have to buckle down and study just yet. And his schedule aligned with his familyâs enough that they actually had like a four hour Skype session before dinner.
The current frogs are cleaning up the dishes from team dinner while he, Bully, and Hops relax on the front porch with a beer as is their divine right as seniors. Plus they cooked. No way are they doing their own dishes. Heâs got his Wafflestack Chillaxin All Cool playlist on in the background, and the fireflies are just starting to come out.
âIf you were a potato, what way would you like to be cooked?â Hops says out of nowhere. Lukas inhales a little bit of his beer laughing at the non sequitur.
âWhat the fuck are you on about, babe?â asks Bully.
âIf you were a potato -â
âNo we heard the question you giant goober -â
âHe means what the actual fuck, Hops,â Lukas cuts in, laughing. He loves that his friends got their heads out of their asses and did something about their mutual admiration society last year, but youâve gotta cut the cuteness off somewhere or theyâll be here all night. He knows from experience that sleeping on the porch is way less comfortable than certain upperclassmen would have you believe, Nursey.
âOkay first of all you are both being rude -â
âAnd second of all I will disown you right now,â Bully and Lukas finish together - in their customary terrible impression of Hopsâ voice.
Sticking his nose in the air the better to ignore their antics, Hops says, âI think Iâd want to be baked - not like that you assholes - but you know, relatively low trauma with the making holes, some nice oil rubbed on you, and bam, into the toasty oven. Itâd be like lobsters, or frogs or whatever - by the time you get up to temperature youâre already dead. Nice and peaceful!â
âThat is somehow both profound and deeply disturbing, Hops,â Bully says, âI donât know whatâs more disturbing, the idea that you were thinking about this before, or that you came up with it on the spot.â
Lukas almost snorts his beer out his nose heâs laughing so hard.
âCome on guys, at least give the question some thought,â says Hops.
âAlright, alright, give us a second,â Bully says, throwing his arms over both of their shoulders.
âIâd want to be in a soup I think,â Lukas says, âOff with my head while I get cut into chunks, so thereâs no pain at all, and then my potato ghost can just hang out in the pot like a sauna.â
âLouis! My man!â yells Hops, giving him a high five in front of Bullyâs face, âCominâ in clutch, mâdude.â
Bully pulls his arm from around Hops to grasp his imaginary pearls, âBut, babe, I though I was your man!â
âWell maybe youâd better step up babe and tell us what kind of potato dish youâd be or Iâll have to date Louis instead.â
âGross,â Lukas chimes in, âNo romo.â
âAh thank god, my relationship is saved by the aro Swede once again,â Bully says, pretending to swoon while Hops swats at his shoulder. âAlright, I think, like, those really fancy hasselback potatoes.â
âYou fuckinâ would,â snorts Lukas. âGo on pretty boy, tell us why.â
âWell, it takes a lot of effort? Like if I must die a potato death, I want someone to have really commit. Plus they look nice,â says Bully, shrugging.
âRiver Middle Name Bullard, that was a great answer and if we werenât already dating Iâd ask you out right now,â Hops proclaims.
âJon you know my middle name -â
âYeah but itâs funnier if I pretend mmphh-â Hopsâ words get cut off my Bully swooping in to kiss him quickly.
The combination of a great day, good food, beer, and this ridiculous conversation mean that Lukas is barely breathing because heâs laughing so hard. Who needs to do crunches with these hooligans around? Any minute now the LAX bros are going to come out and yell at them for being too loud, the frogs will finish the dishes and ask about Mario Kart, the non Haus residents will drift home. But for right now, heâs got his two best friends and no responsibilities.
Yeah, he loves kegsters, but he loves these moments more.
