#arcn

Being chunk banned is like being voided, except nothing happens. You’re stuck in a cold, black void. You’re body can’t handle being there, so the ban destroys your body for the time being, making your consciousness the only thing that exists until you get out.

Time works differently in the void or it feels different. Seconds feels like minutes, minutes like hours, hours equals days, days become months, so on and so forth. You lose all sense of time and purpose as soon as your in, doomed to wait until you get saved from this nightmare.

How you perceive the world also becomes a huge difference. You have become so used to the cold nothingness that numbs you, the silence that was so ear shattering has disappeared and your back in a world with loud sounds, people, colors, shapes and temperatures, worst of all you can’t ignore it and you can do nothing to numb the pain.

When you get out of it, you’re stuck in a body that doesn’t feel like yours anymore. Maybe your body got destroyed and remade when you got back, maybe you’ve grown too used to the void, to not have a body and now nothing feels right anymore

After coming back everything is wrong, you’re body isn’t working like it used to and it’s constantly shutting down on you. You forget to breathe, eat, sleep and everything that makes you you. It’s much weaker than what you used to be after all the time you’ve spent away from it. You have to care for needs you don’t remember having or needing and you feel like you’ve lost all sense of your humanity. (or whatever species they are)

Both your mind and body freaks out, your legs can’t carry your full weight anymore, working like a newborn horse. Your hands can’t hold onto things for long before your grip gives in. You can’t fully process barely do anything without shaking like a leaf because of the exhaustion and overstimulation.

Your body is actively fighting you, rejecting your presence, trying to kick you out, because you are not the one who used to inhabit it, at least not anymore.

You don’t remember how time works anymore, you’re sense has become so skewed that you work for hours on end, without any breaks because those hours of hard work has been nothing but a couple of minutes in your mind. They have no way of actually adjusting back because how do understand the way time works again when you have lived so long without it being a thing.

You have to deal with migraines every single day, a nausea that won’t leave, you can’t fully process what’s happening around you, more times than not you’re dissociating trying to get away from it all. No matter how much you hide in dark rooms, run away to the end, but nothing fixes your problems.

just for you nonnie!

my two beautiful cats and their weird brother.

Day 149