#iamstormz

Paths to Bliss

Thoughts and explanations under cut

The way people see/treat stormz is actually a really good representation of how people with BPD are treated irl. 

BPD(borderline personality disorder) is mainly characterized by factors such as Emotional Volatility, dissociative symptoms, risk of self-harm, severe abandonment fears, etc. These traits, when seen and experienced from a third person perspective, seem very abrupt and hurtful. It is also incredibly villainized due to these traits. You’ll often find people label them as ‘insane’ or ‘crazy’ with no regard to their experiences or point of views. 

The way Stormz acts has been stigmatized to so many levels, leading to just slapping a label on him and calling it a day. (Note; most of these labels are usually just insults.) BPD defines very deep self-hatred and struggle with a sense of identity along with emotional pain that oscillates very frequently. This is also what alludes to conflict in interpersonal relationships for those who have BPD, making it the main target. The ‘manipulation’ that is noted, is mostly a way to cope with the abandonment and rejection issues.

Stormz’s obvious struggle with sense of identity, struggle with sense of purpose, is what has made him lash out multiple times when attempting to be put in a mold of what he ‘should’ be by others, which was usually to make sense of Stormz by just constricting him. These issues are further cemented by the ‘weapon’ and ‘human’ talk. 

Interpersonal relationships are very targeted because of very quick attachments paired with severe fear of abandonment lead to very volatile actions and desperate attempts to be in control, which may lead to obsessive distancing to oscillating views on the people close. This can lead to ending relationships and hurting those people. 

Another trait is devaluing things down to be black and white, evil and good. This may not seem prevalent to Stormz, but a very good example is his early on impression of mugm being ‘the villain’ and a blind attempt to take him down, only later seeing Mugms POV and discarding that view. Stormz also exhibits traits of a very unstable perspective on his relationships with/perspective on others that depend on obscure criteria. POVs fluctuating between putting someone on a pedestal to accusing them wrongly. 

Stormz may seem like an advocate for change, but he’s not. His actions of seemingly leaving others and distancing himself are just a desperate attempt at protecting himself from the abandonment issues he has. Because surely he wont be rejected/abandoned if he’s doing the abandoning and rejection, right? In his, he may have put up the act of ‘moving on’ from his relationships/teams, but he hasn’t. (Tb, Te)

This is not to defend Stormz or be an apologist. Stormz is still responsible for the actions he has taken. Stormz has internal confusion over shame and guilt, his shame takes form in superficial ‘accountability’ saying that he ‘knows he does it to himself’ and that ‘he dug this grave.’ but this does nothing as stormz exhibits the same traits and destructive methods over and over again. He has a ‘I am a bad person and I have accepted it.’ mindset of sorts. While if he was genuinely guilty and had genuine acknowledgement, he would attempt to get better. This is not to say Stormz doesn’t have guilt, he does, at a very severe level but it’s also mixed in with shame.

(^this is also a characteristic of BPD in infantile behavior and a way to shrug of any blame of their own actions.)

All of these traits experienced by a third party or a third person POV can seem very confusing and desperate attempts to understand it can make it very. Very. frustrating. When Stormz’s words dont match his actions, when his actions dont match his words. Many times when someone talks about Stormz, it is straight up wrong or very… stigmatizing.

We, yes, we kinda live in Stormzs head so of course we can make sense of his actions and mental state that dictate them but others, cannot. And it makes for a very interesting perspective that people who have stuck with him still manage an extremely superficial image of him because of these long running debilitating traits of his. It seems like he’s given the space to be vulnerable and then immediately given labels that only encourage the villainization in the long run, just like real life cases of BPD.

His coping mechanism in the form of self-harm is not traditional, but takes place in throwing himself in dangerous and stressful situations and dying over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again. Most of these situations being fights or conflicts. He repurposes this as an ‘easy acceptance of failure and ability to get back up again’ but when it really counts, he falls apart. (Heretic)

BPD, at its core, is fear and instability(in various factors ofc). Attempts to protect yourself from this fear can come in varying methods, but when protection is achieved via achieving power, Stormz is going to strive for that. 

Also, Anarchy servers and the treatment of PVP-ers cater an environment that only encourages Stormz’s degrading health and actively take away any chance of self-recovery or even betterment(WHOSAIDTHATT) Stormz isn’t going to learn because he actively avoids it and because he Cant. 

I guess what I’m getting at is that i feel a mild irritation spike up whenever people call stormz ‘switchup’ or things of that nature. But it’s also very interesting to me. yeah ok im done im never doing an analysis again