#archery fail

Cassidy trying and failing at archery

And this is why you use a finger sling...

Vindalf Breaks a String Always inspect your equipment and follow safety guidelines. Camerawork by Bean.

so this is tale of my egg-head genius self wandering out to Downtown Brooklyn to try and shoot yesterday as Juno descended onto the northeast coast: They normally open at 3pm. I look outside at 3pm, and I see maybe four inches of snow that have been smeared all over the place like Santa's messy asshole by cars, buses, Sanitation, etc. and I'm like -- pish-posh! This ain't no blizzard. Clearly, the range will be open. OF COURSE, the range will be open. If I were an archery range, I would be open -- but let me call first to make sure you're open because not everyone is me. I scroll through my phone history and pick the first non-saved 718 number I come across, since I had called earlier before they'd opened to see if they had a message on their phone indicating that they'd be closed due to weather (they had no such message). I call. They answer -- and the first part is garbled, but I ask: "Hey, I was calling to see if you guys are actually open with the weather, and if it'd be cool for me to come in and shoot." "Yeah, we'll be here for a little while." "Sweet!" And I hang up. I fiddlefuck around for a few hours, and call again before I head out. "Hello?" "Hey, I was stuck doing xyz for a few hours, but I still want to come shoot -- wanted to see if you were still open before I left the house." "Oh, yeah, we're here till 8pm." "Awesome!" And I hang up. SO I LEAVE MY HOUSE. Which is a 25 minute walk to the train because I live at the end of the earth in South Brooklyn, and then happens to be another 30 minute train-ride, and 15 minutes walking. It's cool, though, and the snow is kind of pretty in a light, blizzardy sort of way. I frequently ride between subway cars on elevated lines because I like hearing the sound of the train, I like the motion, and I like watching everything pass by. Brooklyn looked like a little snow-globe village. I enjoyed my trip up to downtown. I get to the archery range, which has a "CLOSED DUE TO EMERGENCY" sign plastered across it. I try the door, and it's locked. I blink. It's also a pro and repair shop, so I'm thinking -- hey, Ken kind of knows me by voice, maybe he's in tooling with risers and orders, and felt nice enough to let me come in and shoot. Ken is totally the kind of guy who would do that (and he is, really, they've let me shoot for hours without charging me, stayed open late on NYE for me, etc.). So I call that same 718 number again. "Hello?" "Hey, I'm outside the range, but the door is locked and I can't get in -- could you let me in?" And at this point I accidentally end the call. I sigh, frustrated, and just knock hard on the door. It's a warehouse, there's no bell on this door. Then, I notice -- the snow drift has blown snow up against the door that looks relatively undisturbed. Even if someone's been here since the afternoon, that's a bit odd -- surely they would've left for food at some point. I call again. "Hey, sorry, I disconnected us by accident, I'm outside the range." "The range?" "Yeah... the range. You know, arrows -- pew pew. Range? Is this Ken?" "This isn't a range, it's a liquor store." I'd also called a liquor store earlier in the day to see if I could load up on a few boxes of red wine because I'm classy and Facebook had said there was a blizzard on. But, like, this was the fourth time I'd called them, and I had mentioned shooting on the phone earlier to them -- how was this now just coming to light as I was standing outside the door in a warehouse district in downtown? I hung-up, went home, passed by the liquor store on my way home since it's impossible not to and threw two huge snowballs at their door as I passed. It wasn't as vindicating as I'd hoped it would be.

So tonight I was watching the newest episode of The New Normal. It happened to be about David's interactions with a boy scout troop and his passion for being a scout master. Ok, very cool, I'll watch. Things are going great until the scouts are earning their archery badges in the background. I notice something's not right. Rewind. As suspected, the recurve bows they are using (dinky as they may be) are strung BACKWARDS. This may not seem like a big deal. Non-archers string bows backwards all the time right? But these are boy scouts, earning a badge for PROFICIENCY SHOOTING A BOW. So my questions are: A. Who the hell is testing these kids? B. Why on earth did someone not say something to the producers? C. Do you not do ANY research NBC?!?!?. In short, do your damn research, television producers. In other news, a California child was struck by a crossbow "arrow"... Ignorance... They have it... *facepalm*