#apple notes

Here's the situation:

I had a note with at least 6k words of fic written in it. My Notes sync to iCloud and are available across my phone, macbook, and watch

I THOUGHT I created a new note to write some temporary text in it. What ACTUALLY happened was I highlighted and deleted the text of my fic note, and wrote my temporary text. Once done with that temporary text, I deleted the note

I noticed my fic was gone, and found it in the "Recently Deleted" folder, and then restored it to its original location

I now have a note that has my temporary text and SOME of my original fic text but not most of it

I tried to pull up Time Machine on my Mac, but yesterday's version had the "Restore" button greyed out and wouldn't let me select it, and now is not showing a version from yesterday at all. My last backup to an external drive is from December, but even if it was this week, that wouldn't cover putting me back to the version existing around 6pm last night

I cannot find anywhere in my iCloud account that allows for reverting to an earlier version of a Note. All online advice seems to be for recovering Word or Excel document files you back up to iCloud, but that's not my problem, I don't have a file, I'm working in an app

I'm willing to reset my phone or my laptop to an earlier date, but can't tell how to do that apart from using the version on my external drive, which is a month old (but I'm getting closer to not caring, I didn't make that many changes to my files and the bulk of that fic was written then)

All the advice online is for recovering deleted files and look, I've been doing that since 1993, I've done that on an enterprise level, the deleted file is recovered, I WANT THE EARLIER VERSION OF A NOTE INSIDE AN APP, I have recovered earlier versions of synced files for high-level government officials on SharePoint enterprise systems okay!!!!! I just want to turn the clock back 30 hours.

PLEASE HELP I AM SPEEDRUNNING THE FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF HERE