#apocalisp

TA: s0, y0u all kn0w by n0w — AA and I are pretty pr0ne t0 vacillating

TA: we d0n't really talk ab0ut it because pe0ple are n0sy and ann0ying but

TA: we flipped pitch once

TA: I g0t her quad earrings. it was supp0sed t0 be nice and all, but AA's stubb0rn and I'm an assh0le

TA: I was w0rried

TA: there's 0nly s0 many times y0u can tell y0ur girlfriend she's fish f0dder if she d0esn't c00l 0ff

TA: f0r a d00m player I'm real shit at being w0rried efficiently th0ugh

TA: the w0rst thing I ever said t0 her was that she 0ughta take Zahhak up 0n his gr0ss l0vesick pining if she wanted t0 fight s0 damn bad

TA: I've never ap0l0gized f0r s0mething s0 fast

TA: but t0 be h0nest part 0f me meant it

TA: everyb0dy kn0ws pissbl00ds d0n't carry much m0re sway than rusts. it's n0t unusual, what happened t0 us

TA: I c0uldn't tell y0u what came first — l0ving Aradia, 0r kn0wing I'd l0se her

TA: they were t00 cl0se t0 tell

TA: s0 t0 answer y0ur questi0n Alternia sucked and I d0n't miss it

TA: but hey

Yandere Sollux/Reader/Aradia Headcanons

-Sollux probably would have kidnapped you first. He wouldn't have you for long before Aradia finds out.

-When she finds you, she falls horns over heels flushed for you, and asks Sollux if he can share.

-After the relationship starts, they try to make sure that at least one of them are with you at all times.

-Sollux because he doesn't want someone else to find you, or for you to get hurt, and Aradia because she can't stand the thought of you having to be alone.

-Aradia is a lot more open about her affections, cooing over how pretty you are for hours.

hi aradia whats your favorite snack lately. do u like crunchy or soft things



AA: well uh

AA: actually its kind of both

AA: ive been really quite fond of honeycomb lately but

AA: the smell of it makes sollux kinda nervous so I try to only eat it when he isnt around

AA: of course hes an annoyingly light sleeper so ive been caught honey handed once or twice

AA: thats right!! sollux is a prophet of doom on our new planet

AA: well i should say *the* prophet of doom (though that isnt the only thing he prophesizes)

AA: he and i specialize in prophecies in general though mine are more specific

AA: sollux has his own oracle that spits out prophecies every so often though mostly when people come to seek them out (and when they happen to be self-fulfilling i lend a hand)

AA: not super relevant but sollux is also the patron of disease, terminal illness, blight, and disaster

AA: were here were aliens and were ready to answer some questions about our personal lives

TA: d0n’t get it twisted, it’s n0t that i think y0u l0sers are w0rth my time, it’s just that i hate myself en0ugh t0 g0 reverse pr0strate bef0re the digital masses because i kn0w y0u all want these sweet, sweet deets.

AA: what he means to say is that we are shameless gluttons for internet fame and are at your figurative beck and call

AA: !!

AA: !!!!!!

TA: d0uble that, then we’ll talk.