I took my first AP math course this semester, and I didn’t do as well as I would’ve wanted to.
My midterm for this course was a 54. It was so heartbreaking because it felt like I was the only one going through this. People were sobbing about getting 80′s. Some people had a mark in the 70′s as their lowest test mark throughout the semester and they were anxious about how that was going to drop their average. I, on the other hand lost all motivation for this course. Even though this was a time to stay motivated, I lost all will to even attempt to succeed in this class. I compared myself to EVERYONE in this course and it really broke my self esteem. I stopped doing all the homework, I stopped taking efficient notes and lost any confidence going into tests. My binder was a mess, I couldn’t find the notes I wrote in the morning when I got home in the afternoon. It was horrible.
I started studying for exams a month in advance. I had to get a good grade. I studied my butt off every single day, aiming for a high ninety. People were inspired by me because everyone thought I was working so hard. They didn’t understand the importance of this final exam.
I got an 82. One of the lowest marks in my class and I was devastated. I didn’t do as well on other exams as well because I dedicated all my time to math. I was so discouraged, I texted my mom and sobbed in the washroom while I waited for her to come pick me up. I cried for an hour.
I got my final mark for this course. It was a 73, 10 percent lower than the class average. I could’ve once again looked at this as a negative and cried some more but I decided to change my thinking. As a Canadian, the grade I originally got was a Level 1. Now I was at a Level 3. Keeping into consideration the minus and plus grades as well (for example, 2+ & 2- ), I had increased by 6 GRADES. THAT’S NOT EASY.
Instead of being discouraged by this final mark, I was proud. Nobody else in my class had increased by 6 grades, and that’s something only my hard work and dedication got me. It wasn’t as high of a grade as I originally hoped for, but working with what I had, it was pretty darn awesome.
If you’re disappointed in yourself because you failed a class, test or exam, just remember how far you’ve come. Sweetheart, that perseverance will take you places on this journey we call life. I’m so proud of my grade and I haven’t been this determined EVER in my entire life. With a mindset like this, I already know second semester is going to be SO much better.
You can’t change what’s already happened. Stop letting your failure define you, because a lot of the time it isn’t failure. It’s the result of your dedication, hard work, long nights, early mornings and tears. How could so much work be considered a failure?
Just because you’re not where you want to be right now, doesn’t mean you’ll never be there. By letting these things define you, it’s going to be impossible for you to move on and to succeed in different classes. Chin up. Be proud of your grade, let it fuel you and KILL the rest of your classes. It’s hard right now, but if there’s something I’ve learned it’s that
the people that fall the hardest,