#ap.

Asa: Get what?

No, that’s not accurate. You know you hate yourself. You know that you’re giving yourself reasons to keep up the habit, too, sitting here, staring at messages that bar one of the only people you routinely speak to from entry, messages that should piss you off instead of making you feel more lonely. The main problem right now is that you can’t quite identify if you hate yourself for isolating yourself, or if you hate yourself for ever talking to him in the first place.

Whatever the case, you’re stuck now. He’s on your mind. You’ve tried to get him out of there, employed every strategy you could think of. You’ve tried distracting yourself, tried convincing yourself that you’re not actually that lonely, but you are, and no amount of lying to yourself is going to change it.

You don’t know what it is exactly that makes Eridan a comforting presence in your life. It’s definitely not the way he treats the people he calls his “friends”. If you were willing to be charitable with yourself you might say it’s the money, but you barely used any of it, you actually get the feeling that ended up being one of the points of contention between the two of you, that you didn’t ask for more.

It might actually just be the presence of someone who’s worse than you are.