reasons I don't support Achilles of Phthia and why you shouldn't either, an indepth analysis post by totally not Odysseus of Ithaca.
Hello gang my name is NOT Odysseus of Ithaca you may call me nobody for short today I will be telling you all the truth about Achilles of Phthia since it seems too many people like him in this side of Tumblr so here is my reasons for why we need to cancel Achilles because someone like him doesn't deserve fame or glory. This is all coming from a reliable source within the greek camp so you can't doubt me at all.
1— kills people
That's just so wrong??? Like uhm I know we're in a war but he's just extra brutal about it personally me nobody have never done that in my life I think a good example of a GOOD murderer is Odysseus God he's just so handsome and charming and best of all he kills people in the halal way they don't even feel a thing he's such a good guy! God I need him.
2— owns slaves
Apparently that's wrong? Allegedly? I think? The kids these days are saying slavery is wrong so uhhh I would NEVER support slavery tsk tsk that's just wrong unless this generation doesn't mind it I mean uhhh take Odysseus for example he has NEVER taken a slave in his life and don't say Hecuba or Laodice or whoever else I mean uhm look at poor Briseis and whatever the hell the other one's name was uhhh I think it was similar to uh? Diomedes? Diomede? Something like that?? Speaking of Diomedes Ineeddiomedesofargosinmybedrn UHHH I MEAN THAT WAS THE WIND
3— blue eyed
Get your disgusting blue eyed blinding stare away from me making eye contact with this guy SUCKS it feels like my eyes are being burnt someone get him some brown eye contacts
4— blonde
Arguably worst crime on this list
5— Gay
usually I don't care about what anyone does in the bedroom but he makes US know what he's doing in the bedroom istg him and Patroclus be moaning WAYYYY too loud brother we are trying to SLEEP keep it down and if it's not Patroclus he has Antilochus in his room or even both and he be doing this EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. like brother don't you get tired??? because WE definitely are tired of having to hear THAT.
6— manchild
Just look at this. God he disgusts me. Put the blanket down and get up and go FIGHT. Sitting in your tent sulking ain't doing ANY of us justice.
7— I don't like his son
Self explanatory, He keeps giving me— I mean Odysseus a hard time Achilles should've pulled out the fact he didn't and let this kid be born is bad enough by itself I hate you Neoptolemus.
8— he's so dumbbbbb
I HATE stupid people take Odysseus for example he is so smart and hot and intelligent
9— daddy issues
SKILL ISSUE 😂😂 I GREW UP WITH LOVING PARENTS AND A GOOD FAMILY 😂😂 ACHILLES YOU'RE SUCH A LOSER 😂😂
10— I ran out of reasons
He just sucks okay. Trust me on this one.
THE END, anyways this post was sponsored by Briseis of Dardania, Paris of Troy, Hector of Troy, Apollo, Agamemnon of Mycenae, Raid shadow legends and a lot of others I'm too lazy to name click the link below to learn more!
