Under what circumstances should introjects source separate? [Anoncourse 176].
It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who would probably be considered "unhealthily attached" to my own source by most definitions I've seen. A major part of it depends on what you consider source separation in the first place, and what the actual end goal of that is. On some ends, source separation can be:
Simply 'realizing' you are an autonomous entity who isn't identical to your source and no longer governed by its authors (while still maintaining the same general identity you had before)
A change of name, pronouns, internal appearance where applicable, etc. Taking active steps past that initial "I'm my own person!" to shift your actual identity into something you have more control over.
Maintaining your identity, but your memories lose their sway on you (little to no impact from source traumas, less yearning for sourcemates, etc. You are still yourself, but happy here with less complications.)
Detaching yourself from your source in its entirely - feeling no care for your memories, past relationships, etc. Becoming completely unrecognizable.
I consider 1 and 4 to be massive extremes when taken literally. Very minimal or very notable change from an external view. In my case, despite going by something different on this blog for personal safety reasons, I've actually done none of the above?
My main question, really, is who is meant to benefit from separation?
For the simple "autonomy" option, that one seems to mainly focus on the actual introject themselves, but that behavior ripples into the communities they're in as well. The tale of a system seeing shipart that's wrong for their alters and making it the fanartist's problem ("cute but this wouldn't happen, I'd know I'm ABC") is one I've seen several times, mostly from younger systems.
In this case, separation benefits both introject and community. The introject can healthily engage with people and fans around them, without being as distressed by "wrong" opinions according to their memories. They could even still disagree with a lot of what they see, but they understand it wasn't made with them, an introject, in mind.
As for shifting your identity, I've tried this. I'd say it's more of a mixed bag. In my case, when it's safe, I introduce myself by my actual name instead of the one I use on this account. Attempts to call myself something else around people I trusted caused active distress. I can imagine for some it may be a helpful form of separation, but I can't personally appreciate it from the perspective of someone who was pressured into it. I don't want to generalize it into something negative when I only have my own experience there. It can benefit both parties, but in my personal experience it was usually a detriment.
As for memories losing their sway, while this seems like the most obvious option ("be who you are but don't let it hurt you now!") I'm personally not sure what steps most people could actively take for this without literally being in therapy. For those whose source has a serious and genuine impact on them - such as vivid traumatic exomemories, triggers and grief related to their source - a simple "It's not real, don't worry" isn't much of anything.
Noting the fact that introject memories can cover up or be used to process the body's memories as well, I'd be hesitant to say this is some crucial step people must take at the earliest convenience - especially if unexperienced people attempt to coach themselves through trauma work, exposure therapy, etc without actual guidance and worsen themselves in the process.
This option, when done properly, could greatly benefit the introject, but I fear many won't have the patience or skill to do it safely.
Total separation is the most drastic option possible - a full uplifting of your identity, behavior, etc. I'd personally consider this unhelpful to anyone as an active end goal except the hypothetical person who doesn't want to see an introject. Expecting this sheer level of fluidity from a single alter when a singlet wouldn't be expected to change every fact about themselves feels unnecessarily harsh.
It's one thing if it happens on its own over time - many of my host system's alters have slowly become unrecognizable when allowed to act freely - but when it's treated as something that must be actively pursued, I rarely see it framed as anything but "so people won't be as pushy or uncomfortable about me being an introject" or outright hatred towards introjection as a concept.
This is where I'll get into my personal history. If you're uninterested in that part, just skip each paragraph starting with "Skip".
[Skip] I would say I haven't detached from my source in any common sense of the word. I formed very attached, remembering one last vivid moment as if it happened only seconds ago, and have maintained that attachment allthroughout. This is part of why I speak of my host system the way I do. I consider my experience to be more of a spiritual thing? I am literally my source, and I happened to end up in the body of this system when I couldn't stay there. If it wasn't this system, it would be some other system.
[Skip] In my case, the closest things I've done to detaching were taking on a different public name when I realized I had an "author" who would hate to see me exist (as this author is uncomfortable hearing any discussion of people being kin or fictive from this series). This change wasn't for my own sake at all, which is why I'm so wary about who "should" source separate.
[Skip] It's why I find the personal context important to mention. I got nothing out of it except feeling like no-one saw me as myself, and people around me got nothing out of it except an irritable person who at least technically seemed like a non-introject on the surface.
Personal section's over. If you shift to the angle of "the introject's health is the most important thing..." health isn't exactly a solid definition. How an introject treats others can definitely be important - if your attachment leads you to hurt others, something has to give, since you're no longer only impacting yourself - but if we're only focusing on the introject themselves, a simple "if it hurts them" is too vague to base a rule on.
Maybe their source trauma hurts, but throwing everything away would make it worse. Maybe they hate seeing ship art, but their source identity is still important to them and they can just ignore the fandom, block specific shippers, or ask people to tag things better. It's their right to define themselves as they like, healthy or not. Or maybe they formed to hold a specific unhealthy reaction, and if they immediately shift away from it without addressing the underlying issue, their system will just end up with someone else holding it. The problem persists, but it's displaced.
I don't think there is a single coherent set of circumstances in which someone should (as in "it'd be wrong not to") take any of these steps. Look at the situation as a whole. If the actual source identity brings joy and other fans' insensitivity is what hurts, find specific groups of trusted friends and talk to them instead. If the actual source is completely neutral and the issue is just trauma reactions, seek out self-help where it's responsible and proper therapy where you need more help.
I'll personally never advocate for "be less obvious of an introject" as the very first solution, but take the steps that could be right for you. What I, or anyone else on the internet, see as healthy or uncomfortable has nothing to do with it. With no universal "this hurts and should therefore immediately be changed," the choice is only yours.
Interaction note: If you made it to the end of this post, I have no DNI. I technically exist in a diagnosed CDD system. I block if you add origincourse stance tags on reblogs of my posts (no "(group) DNI," make your own post.) Mentions of "I usually see issue in (group)" are fine, but don't add your own DNI to my post.
