#angry vampire

Vampire captured!

*catches*

What the fuck is this?! It feels hollow. Hmm. Hinges open... And feels...

Interesting. It feels like my enchanted knapsack. Bigger on the inside! Well, that'll come in handy. Something that can be concealed while my pack can't be.

Now I wish I had pockets... Serana? Catch!

ANON! You... You... Your fucking Pokéball just ate my-

*CRACK*

Luckily for you it just broke and spat her back out. Seems it's not strong enough to contain an angry vampire.

It might be an idea to start running, because said vampire didn't enjoy that. And I just shifted the blame onto you.

Run, Anon, run!

Not that you can outrun a vampire, especially not when you started out a Pokéball's throw from me. This is going to be fun to watch... I do believe Serana's angry enough to tear you limb from limb.

Huh. Interesting. That's a cruel and unusual punishment, stuffing you inside another of your weird Pokéballs. And throwing you away. Ouch! Throwing you through a portal into Oblivion.

I noticed. I'm not sure you've noticed annoying a vampire, though. A vampire who knows the difference between true death, being undead, and being alive. A vampire who doesn't need a pathetic mortal to lecture her on the technicalities of life and death.

I'm tempted to give you to the Dawnguard so they can hammer it into you that vampires don't count among the living. And that vampires are dangerous monsters. Because we are. I try not to be, but deep down I am.

You tempt me to be that monster, mortal. I'd advise you to back off while your throat is still intact, and your blood still in your body, and your remains not temporarily raised for me to tear apart. Or maybe I'll enthrall you first, and make you suffer—

I'm sorry. I'm taking out my frustration on you, and it doesn't help that I'm hungry. I should find my Dragonborn and deal with that. But... I'm not talking about this with you anymore.

This post is mostly ranting and venting about humans. Please do not take offense, unless you're one of these sadly stupid Misinformed individuals.

NUMBER ONE: NO I WILL NOT "TURN" YOU. There is no such thing as being "turned". You either are born a vampi(y)re or you're not. Sure there's loads or "spells" and "rituals" to 'turn' your sorry pathetic existence... NO NO NO. That's a bunch of crap. Even if I could, why would I? Why would I take on that responsibility? Why would I pass on this kind of life? It really isn't much different from a "human" life. I still have to pay bills. I still have to have a job and eat regular food and socialize... with people. Sure I have some neat gifts at times. Glimpsing the future is nice but has its limitations. Being empathic is also kinda neat, but again, has limitations and can be very overwhelming. Energy manipulation is something a lot of people can learn if they chose to pursue it. Then comes the feeding... Oh yes, we have that. We have to. Or we get sick... not necessarily die, but we do sink into a state of ill health. Starting with flu-like symptoms. Progressing eventually into severe pain, paranoia, ect. The symptoms are not always the same for all of us. There are indeed commonalities, but not always the same misc symptoms. NUMBER TWO: If you know someone is one of us, especially Sanguins, DO NOT WAVE YOUR OPEN, BLEEDING WOUNDS IN THEIR FACE. It's really irritating and insulting. It's like you're insinuating they can't control themselves. It's like waving cake in front of a larger person... Why would you do that?! That's horrid behavior. NUMBER THREE: YES, I have fangs, NO they aren't my real teeth. NO, I will not bite you with them... well, not hard anyways, and only if I feel like it.

NUMBER FOUR:

Yes, the sunlight hurts and I do burn easily. NO I don't ignite into flames. I do not care for long periods of sunlight. It hurts my eyes and as I just stated, I burn easily. Lobster red is not a suitable color for me.

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