#andy travis

April 4, 1973. The time is 8:00 am.

“I hope I’m making myself clear, boys. I need you to take this stuff seriously. This radio station needs more productivity, which means we gotta figure out a way to gain more listeners! Just stick to the plan and play the top 40 hits listed on this paper.” Andy says matter-of-factly as he looks at Robert and Lee dead in the eyes.

Andy is dressed in red and black flannel, sleeves rolled halfway up his arms, and tucked underneath his skinny bell bottom denim jeans. He has on his favorite pair of cowboy boots. He stands with both his hands resting on his waist, showing his authority as program director.

He hands the men the top 40 list. Robert and Lee squint as they read through the list, nodding their heads slowly as they analyze each song that’s on the list.

“Is that understood boys?” he questions Robert and Lee.

“Yes, sir!” like two army cadets, Robert and Lee respond in unison, giving Andy a slightly petrified look.

“Good, good now let’s get funky boys!” Andy smiles at the men and does a little dance as he exits the control room.

Robert and Lee turn to each other slowly, smirking rather mischievously before bursting into laughter.

“I hope I’m making myself clear, boys!” Lee says mockingly in his best Andy Travis impression.

“Oh Andy Travis, program director of WKRP, please marry me.” Robert responds in an exaggerated female voice while batting his eyes and making kissy faces at Lee.

Lee and Robert laugh like two hyenas as they fall back into their seats. As they regain composure, they both examine the control panel.

“Huh, I wonder what this button does.” Robert says as he pushes a random button on the control panel and immediately, a red light on the control panel begins flashing.

“Oh sh—” Robert’s eyes grow big and begins to panic. He realizes he’s now live on the air.

“Say something, man!” Lee whispers in a panicked voice.

“Hello.” Robert says in a deep, suave voice. “This is Robert Lamm, keyboardist of Chicago and today you folks are lucky because you get to hear me provide DJ services until 4 pm for all your rock ‘n roll needs.” He smirks and gives Lee a slightly nervous look.

“You’re doing so well, my dear, keep it up!” Lee whispers as he smiles at Robert.

“Most of you probably know me as Bobby Lamm but today, you may call me Robert.” he continues to speak rather suavely. He pauses for a second, then continues his dialogue. “Today our lovely WKRP listeners are in for treat! I am joined by my lovely assistant and the world’s best trumpet player, Mr. Lee Loughnane!” he gestures at Lee to begin talking.

Nervous, Lee clears his throat then begins speaking into the mic.

“Well, hello all you beautiful people of Cincinnati. It is I, the great Lee Loughnane! Robert and I are two of the finest DJ’s Cincinnati has to offer so we hope we fill your morning with joy with our high quality DJ services.”

As Lee continues with his spiel, Robert takes out one of Elton John’s newest albums, Don’t Shoot Me I’m Only the Piano Player and places it on the turntable. He gently sets the needle down on the record and waits for Lee to finish talking before he begins playing a song off the record.

“..and here’s Elton with one of my personal favorites off his newest record, Crocodile Rock.” Lee points to Robert to cue him to begin playing the song. The song begins to pulsate through the tiny control room. Robert scrambles to find the mute button on the control panel and presses it gracefully with his long index finger.

The men slouch into their seats and breathe a sigh of relief.

“That wasn’t too bad, was it?” Robert looks at Lee, his clear blue eyes slightly twinkling.

“Not bad for amateurs.” Lee smiles widely through his beard. He shakes his hair vigorously, then run his fingers through his silky, golden curls to fix it.

Robert rests his legs against the control panel, being careful not to accidently push any buttons.

“Hey man, you want some coffee? I can ask that stunning secretary of ours if she can make us some.” Lee smirks at Robert.

Robert’s eyes widen once again then stares at Lee. “Oh man, she’s so hot, let me tell ya!”

“Yeah, that’s what I was saying! So damn hot!” Lee exclaims. “It’s always the blondes, man.”

Robert chuckles. “I bet she has a boyfriend though.” He follows Lee with his eyes as Lee rises from his seat.

Lee stretches while standing, then yawns as he scratches his side. “Sadly, you’re probably right, man.” Lee looks down and pouts like a child.

“She would be one lucky gal to have one of us as a boyfriend ya know.” Robert chuckles.

“Yeah but she’s out of our league, man. I mean the girl comes from old money, I betcha. Look at the way she carries herself. She’s clearly rich!” Lee says matter-of-factly.

“Are you boys talking about me?” the female voice resonates throughout the entire room, making the boys jump of their seats. Robert and Lee turn to see that it’s Jennifer Marlowe.

Jennifer is dressed in her maroon pencil dress, her blonde hair is tied up in a neat bun. She grins widely at the two boys while holding two coffee mugs with both hands, which are steaming with hot coffee. She carefully brushes past the men and places the mugs on the center console of the control panel.

“Jennifer Marlowe!” Robert and Lee say in unison, ogling at Jennifer head to toe.

“Hi boys, I didn’t mean to snoop on ya but I thought I’d bring you two some fresh hot coffee. Mornings can get a little tough here at the KRP. I know coffee always picks me up!” Jennifer says with enthusiasm.

She takes some time to examine the men from head to toe but pays extra attention to Robert. She notices how his white dress shirt is unbuttoned halfway, revealing a patch of chest hair and notices the brown talisman he’s wearing around his neck— adorned with three small brown pendants in the center. She grins at Robert, and the two stare at each other for a while.

Jennifer smiles at Robert. “So you must be Robert.”

“Yes ma’am. ‘Tis I.” Robert says softly.

She walks over to him slowly and begins playing with his hair. Robert gives her a confused look and doesn’t take his eyes off her as he tries to figure out her next move.

“My, my your hair is getting so long. It seemed shorter in the photos. It must be the new trend, fellas growing out their hair.” she says, smiling widely at Robert.

Robert chuckles. “I guess I’m trying to go for the John Lennon look. That’s what everyone’s doing these days.”

“What about me?” Lee says with a huge grin on his face, his ocean blue eyes twinkling as he stares at Jennifer.

Jennifer smiles at Lee while walking over to him. She looks up at him and starts playing with his hair. Lee shakes his curls while Jennifer plays with them.

Jennifer giggles. “Well aren’t you just the most adorable thing, Mr. Loughnane?”

“Please, call me Lee. Geez..Mr. Loughnane. What am I old or something?” Lee chuckles, looking at Jennifer with a child-like smile.

“Ok Lee.” She grins at him. “Anyways, I’ve been meaning to ask you boys if you have any idea who left this stinky sock on my desk.” She yells out for a young woman by the name of Bailey to come in. “Oh, Bailey!!”

Bailey Quarters, the pretty blue-eyed, petite brunette, who is the devoted editor for the station, scurries into in the control room and her facial expression changes the moment she lays eyes on the men. Her jaw drops slightly and her eyes widen. Without saying a word, she looks at the men disdainfully as she shows them the dirty sock.

“Yes, well I’m sure you boys realize that your mothers are not around to clean up your mess for you.” Jennifer says, her tone slightly maternal.

Robert grabs the sock from Bailey and pinches his nose as he gets a whiff of it. He tosses the sock to Lee.

“That’s definitely not mine! See, I actually do my laundry unlike some people I know.” Robert slowly turns his head to Lee and glares at him.

“Sweet baby Jesus, this thing reeks! And this is definitely not my sock either, Jennifer, I swear! I’m a good boy and I do my laundry just like Robert.” Lee says to Jennifer matter-of-factly while pinching his nose.

“Wait a minute—” Robert examines the sock again and grimaces as he begins to realize who the sock belongs to.

“Oh I know whose sock this is.” Robert says in a stern voice, narrowing his eyes as he examines the sock once again.

“Yeah, man. I think I might know too.” Lee adds, while looking at Robert.

Robert and Lee look at the sock then, looking at each other in the eyes, they both begin to grimace.

“Cetera…” the boys say sternly in unison.

“I’m sorry, is that one of your people?” Jennifer asks.

“Yes, it sure is. Peter fucking Cetera. I got into a fist fight with that fool last week after he got home drunk and demanded to fight with me. Anyways, his room is like a pig pen, it’s always a mess. That sock belongs to him, and he probably came in earlier and left it on your desk to try and sabotage our image. He’s just mad that Lee and I get to be radio DJs for a month while he’s stuck helping his mother with chores back home.” Robert says, a hint of bitterness in his tone.

“Yeah, Jennifer. That boy definitely has some growing up to do.” Lee adds.

Bailey walks slowly over to the boys to get a closer look at them. She looks at them both with admiration, her jaw dropping slightly.

“Woooww. I don’t mean to change the topic but Jennifer, can you believe we’re breathing the same air as the guys from Chicago right now?” Bailey says with delight, gazing in awe at Robert then at Lee. “Which one of you is Robert?”

The men look at each other smiling then look back at Bailey.

“Meee!!!” Lee chirps.

Robert cups his mouth with his hand to try and stifle his laugh while looking at Lee, knowing fully well this is child’s play.

“Yes, and I’m Terry Kath.” Robert adds, smirking at Bailey.

“Oh. Wow, Robert, I didn’t realize you had facial hair and thick curls! my, oh my!” Bailey says to Lee.

Lee laughs then tells Bailey the truth. “We’re just messin’ with ya. I’m Lee and this is Robert.” Lee points to Robert.

Bailey walks over to Robert and stares at him for a minute. “My God you’re—”

Andy suddenly storms into the control room and has a puzzled look on his face when he notices Bailey and Jennifer’s presence.

“Alright, ladies. These boys need to get to work, they’re not here to fraternize with groupies.” Andy says with stern in his tone.

“Oh Andy, I was just on my way out the door anyway. It was a pleasure talking to you both!” Jennifer blows a kiss at the boys as she scurries out the room.

“Yeah..Andy…uhhh…I was just—” Bailey gives Andy a frightened look, then exits the room swiftly.

“And as for you two—” Andy looks at the boys dead in the eyes, raising his index finger at Lee then at Robert like a disgruntled grade school teacher.

“Crap! it’s time for the next song!” Robert exclaims.

Robert rushes over to the control panel to announce the next song. He looks at the next song on the list, a tiny smile breaks across his face when he sees that it’s his song, Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

Robert leans over to the mic but pauses briefly as he thinks about a good transitional speech.

“So Elton, huh? man, that boy sure can sing. Anyways, that was our dear friend, Elton with one of his newest hits, Crocodile Rock. Up next is a song written by yours truly. Here’s Chicago with Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is? Robert looks over at the turntable and sees that Lee has conveniently placed the record on it, ready to be played. Right on cue, Lee carefully plants the needle on the record and music begins to fill the tiny studio once again. Robert hits the mute button on the control panel and begins to sing under his breath.

“..to me and asked me, what the time was..” Robert sings softly.

“..on my watch, yeaahh and I saaaiidd…” Andy joins in singing.

“..does anybody really know what time it is? does anybody really care?..” Lee chimes in.

The men proceed to sing the rest of the lyrics in perfect harmony. For a moment, they forget about all their problems and immerse themselves into the wonderful music.