#androageism

for context, i'm transmasc non-binary and attracted to men (although at the time that this happened, i was just out as non-binary) and my friend at the time is a cisgender girl and a lesbian. we were talking about celebrity crushes and stuff, and there had always been this weirdness around me being attracted to men, particularly older men (when i say older, i mean men in maybe their 40s - 50s). anyway so that time, we were talking about celebrity crushes and whatnot, and she was like, "i mean, look at this picture of her, she's gorgeous!" and she showed me a picture of her current celebrity crush, which was an older lady (also in her 40s, although i don't remember exactly who it was). i agreed that objectively, she was lovely-looking, and it was all okay until i pulled up a picture of my celebrity crush at the time and said, "what about him, doesn't he look pretty okay?" but she instantly fired back with that he was too old and that it was gross, and i do believe she even laughed at me.

i just feel like that's very weird? and it's happened multiple times where people can express that an older woman is gorgeous, but the moment it's about a man (and particularly when it was coming from me when i was with my then friends), it's "gross".

apologies if this is very long, it's just something that's been on my mind recently because it feels very strange to me that people judge you (general you) instantly if you're attracted to an older man, but not so quickly (from my experience) if you're attracted to an older woman.

This is androageism and lookism.

"They never grew up-" a lot of men are enabled, not even taught some basic hygiene things, such as clipping their own nails. Is it really that THEY didn't grow up, or that they weren't allowed to? There are so many other examples of this, where privilege ends up hindering lots of men, abled men, white men, and/or cisgender men.

It might as well be a disability, in how they were neglected to learn basic necessities, but these people are called "manchildren" for not knowing. It's just plain cruelty, no matter what amount of discrimination is behind it.

Criticisms aren't invalid, but resorting to ageist language, as if there aren't children who can, and do act better than those referred to as "manchildren", is exactly the same logic bad men weaponise, to make excuses for their actions. It's could be as enabling as it can be bigoted.

This is toxic masculinity, androableism, and androageism.

Many of the people socially imposed male who are not taught how to take care of themselves end up developing genuine mental disabilities based around functionality, ones that cause executive dysfunction.

Neglecting to teach a person who otherwise wouldn't have issues tending to themself leads to the development of genuine disability. Especially when that neglect to teach them starts during childhood. Teaching kids (who are physically and mentally capable) how to tend to their own needs is extremely important, and prevents avoidable disabilities from forming.

(Note: I am not saying to leave toddlers to tend to themselves or something. I'm saying to teach them things as they go, like how to tie their shoes, how to brush their teeth, etc. Don't stop helping a child completely, obviously.)