#andreilweek2018

Day 1: shakespeare | mythology | fake dating/fake exes

FANFIC

Asphodel by @kibumunnie

Prompt: mythology

Start A War by @belabellissima

Prompt: mythology

A Trojan War AU where Andrew is Achilles, Neil is Briseis, and Aaron just wants to survive to the end of the fic. 

self destruct just to feel. by @miny3rd

Prompt: mythology

Andrew’s perspective of his and Neil’s kisses, as well as the “thank you, you were amazing” scene, with a sprinkle of Icarus imagery.

"Andrew's wings, built upon months of promises and truths, wax and feathers, melted and burned. The earth was being pulled towards him with immense speed, and nothing, not even the nights spent twenty stories off the ground, when his heart crashed against his ribs, could prepare him for the plunge."

A Midsummer Night’s Fib by @nachtgraves

Prompt: shakespeare | mythology | fake dating/fake exes

Neil doesn’t know why he did it but Nicky wasn’t going to quit and Allison had her phone out with that plotting gleam in her eyes and Dan and Matt were looking at him in certain ways and he just blurt it out: “I’m going with Andrew.”

A Twin By Any Other Name by @dkafterdark

Prompt: shakespeare

Fake Exes by @minyxrd-03

Prompt: fake exes

“So apparently we broke up.” It’s the first thing Neil - or Andrew, for that matter - had said in quite a while and it was more than enough to catch Andrew’s attention.

Aceso by @minyard-03

sea creature/ocean child by @lolainslackss

Prompt: mythology

When Aaron is lost to the sea, Andrew captures a selkie and enlists him to help bring his brother back.

From Whence We Came by @ GaiusTheGenius

Prompt: mythology

“You hate the beach.” Andrew said by way of a greeting, curling his fingers into the cool sand and narrowing his eyes at the back of Neil’s head. “The beach reminds me of my mother.” Neil replied.

I hate the way I don't hate you by @gluupor

"Great!" said Katelyn happily. "It's settled. We’ll bribe Neil to date Andrew so that I can date Aaron."

A 10 Things I Hate About You AU. Prompt: fake dating

Chemistry Experiments by @fuzzballsheltiepants

The high school/Prom/Fake Dating AU I always secretly wanted to write, with the added bonus of less tragic backstories!  One instance of homophobic language that is dealt with promptly.

welcome to the club by @exyjunkies

Prompt: fake dating

Shaking off Kevin’s arm, Andrew grunted, “One college party.” Kevin fist-pumped. “That’s it.”

Sinful Nature by @lady-gryffindor

Prompt: fake exes

Neil slips up in a conversation with Allison, who won’t rest until he tells her who he went on a date with; the problem is, he hasn’t gone out with anyone. He picks a name, hoping Allison won’t know the guy, but Neil’s life has never been that easy on him.

ART

fanart by @s-c-larkless

fanart by @still-waiting-for-godot

fanart by @staary-eyes

fanart by @broship-addict

MISCALENOUS

this discussion by @exybxtch

Prompt: mythology

headcanon by @arxhaangel

Prompt: shakespeare

Day 2: dmv | carnival | cityscape

FANFIC

Memories by @exactly13percent

Prompt: DMV, Carnival, Cityscape There are a lot of memories for him to replace. The good thing is, Neil has a very good person to help replace them. 

Fair Games by @fuzzballsheltiepants

Ridiculous, tooth-rotting fluff in which Andrew and Neil go to a carnival.  May cause diabetes.

ask by @dkafterdark

Prompt: carnival

It's called a hustle, Sweetheart by @gluupor

"We need to find out who owns this license plate, but I don't have access to the police database yet," said Kevin. "Relax," said Neil. "I know a guy at the DMV."

Cityscape by @nxckyhemmicks

ART

fanart by @artlienn

fanart by @rainbowd00dles

fanart by @staary-eyes

fanart by @s-c-larkless

PHOTOSET

edit by @minyard-03

edit by @hemminicky

photoset by @reneeewalker​

MISCALENOUS

headcanon by @arxhaangel

Prompt: carnival

poem by @dreamscapeloser​

Prompt: cityscape

Day 3: rain | bare skin | broken glass

FANFIC

Shower Thoughts by @dkafterdark

Prompt: rain

A truth universally acknowledged by @gluupor

“Palmetto Court has been let at last!” said Mr. Hemmick in raptures. “Mrs. Wymack reports that a single man of good fortune has taken Palmetto for a twelvemonth at least! What marvellous news for my dear cousins!”

Prompt: rain

Bye Week by @fuzzballsheltiepants

More AFTG fluff.  Post-canon.  Neil goes to visit Andrew in Boston during their bye week, and ends up in Maine instead.

Prompt: rain, bare skin

Rain by @minyxrd-03

Rain and Bare Skin by @nxckyhemmicks

Running to You by @cosyblack

In Columbia, Neil has a nightmare and decides to go run in the middle of the night so Andrew waits for him to come back.

Caught in a Web by @c-dragon-pirates

Neil Josten is Spider-man. He's had his powers for eight years and has protected New York for five. It's a lonely life but Neil tells himself that the work he does makes up for it. Then he meets Deadpool, and though the merc insists he doesn't care for the company of Spider-man, suddenly Neil doesn't feel quite so alone.

Summer Love by @andrewminyardamiright

Matt invites the team to his home in New York to celebrate the Fourth of July. When everyone else is asleep the first night, Andrew and Neil take advantage of the privacy Matt's pool offers and sexy pool shenanigans ensue

For Andreil Week 2018 day 3 Prompt- bare skin and rain (except I'm using a pool instead)

Inside by @exactly13percent

Andreil Week 2018 | Day 2: Rain, Bare Skin, Broken Glass While Neil waits for the end, he never stops. Until one day it rains, and he finds himself giving in to the way Andrew feels in bed next to him and the comfort of his warmth. 

Staying by @nachtgraves

One stormy summer night in Columbia, Andrew finds Neil sitting in the rain.

Marching On by @talysfics

Neil has never seen Andrew naked, and he didn't think he minded.

Prompt: bare skin

ART

fanart by @broship-addict

fanart by @artlienn

fanart by @novakstiel

fanart by @staary-eyes

fanart by @ariessential

fanart by @aminiyard

fanart by @requiemofkings

Day 4: mental health | vine/meme | felony

FANFIC

ask by @dkafterdark​

Prompt: mental health

It's a cruel world, Mr. J by @gluupor

“And you? You think I’m a monster?” asked Andrew. “Maybe,” said Neil. “But I don’t think that monsters are born. They’re made.”

A Joker/Harley AU written for the Andreil Week prompt: mental health

Fine by @exactly13percent

Day 4: mental health, vine/meme, felony Neil thought it would end neatly with Riko's death and Ichirou's deal. His mistake. The Foxes take a vacation and Neil does several stupid things. But hey, it's not like he was alone. And at least he has an entire cabin just for him—and Andrew, of course.

Mental Health  by @nxckyhemmicks

ART

fanart by @artlienn​

fanart by @aminiyard​

fanart by @staary-eyes​

VIDEO

andreil vine compilation by @lady-gryffindor

aftg characters as memes/vines by @sheiibabe

MISCALENOUS

meme by @spokenfromtheheartandsoul

headcanon by @arxhaangel​

Prompt: mental health

poem by @dreamscapeloser

Day 5: colors | soulmate | stadium lights

FANFIC

Marked by @dkafterdark

Andreil Week, Day 5: Soulmate

[Based on this soulmate idea that you’re born with a soulmate mark and when your soulmate touches you the mark turns colors *fancy* I changed it a bit so that only handprints count. Andrew first touches Neil early on in canon but I can’t find when Neil first touches Andrew so for this AU I’m going to say it’s when he takes Andrew’s hand and pulls it under his shirt in The Raven King]

TW: mentions of Drake/Thanksgiving, torture at Evermore, general references to past abuse

An overdeveloped sense of vengeance by @gluupor

“No one could be following us yet?” Kevin asked suddenly. “No one,” Riko said impatiently. “That would be absolutely inconceivable.” There was a pause. “Out of curiosity, why are you bothering me with such a stupid question?” “Oh, no reason,” answered Kevin. “It’s just that I looked back and someone is there.”

A Princess Bride AU written for the Andreil Week prompt: soulmate

how the light gets in  by @exyjunkies

day 5: stadium lights

In which Neil thinks it’s a good idea to come back. Andrew agrees – after all, it’s not as if he’d be going back alone.

Paint Me The Color of You by @exactly13percent

Day 5: Colors, Soulmate, Stadium lights Sound is supposed to be the language of love. Neil has never heard his soulmate. Never. Except he sees blue all the time, and then he meets Andrew and the entire world turns to color.

ART

fanart by @staary-eyes​

fanart by @cats-are-assholes​

PHOTOSET

edit by @nneiljostenn

photoset by @reneeewalker

Day 6: fistfight | distance | video games

FANFIC

ask by @dkafterdark

Yours by @exactly13percent

Day 6: Fistfight, Distance, Video Games Neil manages to keep a low profile for most of the time that Andrew is gone. But some things require action. Some things like a freshman Fox. And someone told Andrew.

Andrew versus the truth by @gluupor

Andrew gets an unexpected message on his birthday from his estranged twin brother and then very strange things start happening.

A spy AU written for the Andreil Week prompt: video games

Is It A Video? by @lady-gryffindor

Neil and Andrew over summer vacation in high school, playing video games together and falling in love like the teenagers they could’ve been.

For Day 6 of #AndreilWeek2018 for the prompts “distance” and “video game

ART

fanart by @rainbowd00dles

fanart by @staary-eyes

fanart by @feli-artblog

fanart by @aminiyard

fanart by @ariessential​

PHOTOSET

edit by @reneeewalker

Day 7: champion | practice | fear

FANFIC

An Unpleasant Surprise  by @dkafterdark

Written for Andreil Week, Day 7: Fear. This is set in a high school au I started where Neil is attending school in Columbia and he meets Andrew at a car wash fundraiser. This story is set about four months after their first meeting. There’s a whole lotta fluff and a small, but intense amount of fear.

TW: Neil being triggered and experiencing a panic attack

Champion by @exactly13percent

Day 7: Champion, Practice, Fear Being a gymnast is not something that typically requires running. It's also not for people that are afraid of heights. Neil and Andrew really fucked themselves over. Maybe there's one good thing that can come out of it, though. Maybe meeting each other is enough.

Fast boys and hot cars by @gluupor

Minyard had gotten out of his car and was stalking towards Neil like a predator - a panther, maybe, or some other big cat. “Double or nothing,” he said, sounding unaffected and bored by the proceedings despite the fact that he’d just lost a race for the first time in years.

A Fast and the Furious AU written for the Andreil Week prompt: champion

ART

fanart by @ariessential​

PHOTOSET

edit by @reneeewalker

Day 8: free choice

FANFIC

Solvable by @dkafterdark​

Crystal Clear by @exactly13percent

Day 8: Free Choice Your crystal is your heart and soul, manifested. You must keep it safe. Neil and Andrew don't have typical crystals. For one, they aren't whole. They're little pieces, broken by years of wrong. But Kevin's magic shop brings them together, and they figure maybe broken doesn't mean destroyed.

Only You by @cosyblack

In their second year a deal is made. Andrew wants to explore his boundaries and there’s really just one person he trusts around himself.

Set in a universe where everything is the same except that Andrew never kissed Neil on the rooftop that night. Instead, they just got closer and more comfortable around each other.

Too gay to function by @gluupor

After school, Neil started to make the trek back to his uncle’s house when a shiny, black beast of a car screeched to a halt in front of him. The driver’s side window rolled down. “Get in, loser,” said Andrew. “We’re going shopping.”

A Mean Girls AU written for the Andreil Week prompt: free choice

it hurts the worst before it heals  by @19tfc

It's been a while before the blood became an ugly scab that Neil can't help scratching at but sometimes his chest feels just a bit lighter.

piped dream by @lvl777 / @03hp

a pta dad au (ft protective dads and a lot of baked goods) for andreil week day 8 (free choice)

warnings: mentions of alcohol, implied / referenced child abuse, ableism

ART

fanart by @audrey-ph

fanart by @artlienn

fanart by @aminiyard​

fanart by @audrey-ph

PLAYLIST

playlist by @reneeewalker​

concept playlists by @arxhaangel

If something you created is not on this list, please contact us!

He doesn’t know how they went from having sparring and knife lessons to lying around in Andrew’s living room, but he doesn’t think it’s - bad. Not at all.

They usually meet up after school at the community gym in Andrew’s neighborhood, on days that Neil doesn’t have Math club activities. Neil teaches him how to handle a knife, and he teaches Neil how to hold his ground in a fistfight.

Neil was prickly and reluctant at first; Andrew had expected him to renege his part of the deal after a couple of sessions. His predictions never came true though, the hypotheses he spun crumbling away without any proof to support them. Neil has upheld his part of the bargain, and Andrew has upheld his.

Clipped retorts and heavy silence pervaded their meetings in the beginning. Then Andrew had asked, “Where did you learn how to use knives?” 

Neil’s entire frame had coiled with tension, snappable as a taut wire, and he had snarled, “It’s none of your business.”

Then he had turned away and quietly said, “My father.” He had looked at Andrew again and asked, “Why did they put you on medication?” 

Andrew’s mind had gone through a series of scenarios of how it could all play out depending on his answer. Surely Neil had learned the reason from the gossip mills at school: he had beaten four kids half to death in middle school, he’s violent, he’s crazy, he’s psychotic.

Then he had looked at Neil and said, “They misdiagnosed me, and they thought it could be a way to put a leash on me.”

It all came cascading down from there; a question for a question, a truth for a truth, a vulnerability for a vulnerability.

They are two kids who have grown too old, too fast.

Nowadays, after their training sessions, Neil follows him home. He queues up his favorite shows for Neil to watch and Neil queues up a string of biting commentary that is more entertaining than anything Andrew has on his Netflix account. Neil’s knowledge on popular culture isn’t limited like Andrew initially thought it was, but it is obscure and random, and Andrew learns as many new things as Neil does.  

They both startle when they hear the sound of jingling keys from the front door.

“Boys?” Nicky’s voice rings out as Andrew hits pause. “Are you home? I brought back some waffles from work.”

His cousin is home early today - he must’ve had a different shift. It shouldn’t send a stab of annoyance through Andrew, but it does; the disruption to his and Neil’s private time is not something he expected to deal with today.

Nicky bypasses the living room for the kitchen, the snick and thump of the refrigerator door opening and closing preceding his approaching footsteps.

“Andrew, why didn’t you answer when I - oh!” Nicky’s face changes from exasperation to absolute delight when he sees that Andrew isn’t alone on the couch. “Neil, I didn’t know you were here! How about some waffles? Have you had anything to drink?”

“I’m alright, thank you,” Neil says, shrinking into the couch, eyes on the carpet. He had pulled his hoodie up as soon as the locks to the front door had turned. This is his second time meeting Nicky, and it’s clear that he isn’t entirely comfortable in his presence just yet.

Instead of being pushy like Andrew predicted, Nicky’s garish grin softens. “Okay,” he says, almost gently, “let me know if you change your mind and want anything, alright? Feel free to stay for as long as you want.”

Andrew stares at him with his habitual look of indifference, but Nicky somehow catches on to the question in his eyes because he shrugs and says, “I took Mel’s shift today, so I finished early. Make sure you eat the waffles before we leave for Eden’s tonight, okay? And leave some for Aaron.”

Andrew gives a small nod, because he’s not a complete asshole who ignores his legal guardian all the time. Flashing Andrew a smile and an unsubtle nudge of his chin towards Neil, Nicky goes to his room.

His first meeting with Neil only occurred because Andrew had gotten his timing wrong - Nicky had just pulled out of the driveway in his mom’s old hatchback when Andrew rounded the corner into their street with Neil in the passenger seat. Nicky had skidded to a stop beside the car, window pulled down, and shouted, “Hi, there! Are you a friend of Andrew’s?”

He supposes that he can’t keep them from meeting for eternity, not if he plans on bringing Neil around so often.

Neil’s striking appearance alone hadn’t been enough of an incentive for Andrew to approach him, but his skills with a knife, his sharp tongue, the knowing glint in his eyes - they had lured Andrew in, and they provided the incentive he needed to start up an acquaintance, to prolong it. He would have been fine with watching from afar, with observing and collecting data, but he is bored, and Neil is interesting.

It’s a dangerous game he’s playing, he knows. He’s opening up parts of himself that he’s kept sealed shut for years and letting Neil see them. The fact that Neil is doing the same makes it even more dangerous, even more electrifying.

They are both still kids, in the end.

“Nicky seems…nice,” Neil mumbles, twisting the string of his hoodie around a finger.

“But you were nervous in his presence,” Andrew points out.

“I just thought that he would be mad, that you’re having me over.” Neil gives a one-shouldered shrug. “Before you, I had never been to a friend’s house, so I didn’t know what to expect, if a parent came home or something.”

Before you, he says, so honestly and easily. A friend, he says, so shyly and sweetly.

Andrew keeps his face still. He lightly kicks Neil’s foot again and resumes the movie, ignoring the way Neil’s lips curl into a faint smile and the way his palms are starting to feel sweaty. When Neil’s attention is back on the screen, Andrew swings his gaze back to Neil’s face.

The thing about Andrew is that he can’t stop watching, but he figures that if nobody else notices, it would not be a problem.

*

“I’ve noticed the way you keep looking at him,” Aaron tells him across the breakfast counter a week later.

So, it might be a problem.

Andrew continues scooping cereal into his mouth as if Aaron hadn’t spoken to him.

“People talk about it, you know. They say that you’re -” Aaron’s face screws into a tight grimace.

“That I am what?” Andrew prompts, a challenge in his calm voice.

Aaron glares at him, as if Andrew has ever been affected by it.

“That you’re gay,” Aaron spits out.

It’s not like Andrew has been keeping it a secret.

“And?”

His twin recoils. It truly is strange, to see a facsimile of himself undergo so many outward reactions and emotions. “So it’s true, then?”

“Shocked to be the token straight in the family?”

Aaron grits his teeth, annoyance written all over his face. “That’s not the point. I’m just trying to understand why you’re suddenly letting someone get all chummy with you, least of all someone like Josten.”

Andrew’s grip on his spoon tightens, but Aaron isn’t finished.

“The kid is suspicious as fuck, not to mention the scars on his -”

Andrew slams the metal spoon against the counter, the dissonant clang effectively shutting Aaron up. The dark look he sends Aaron’s way should be enough to swallow his brother whole; the source of his anger, boiling under his skin and threatening to ooze through his pores - it certainly feels like it could eat him from the inside out.

“I have never said anything about your tasteless choice in girls. I suggest you keep your mouth shut before I make you regret it.”

Aaron blinks, like he’s surprised by Andrew’s reaction. Andrew himself is a little taken aback by his measured outburst.

With a shake of his head, Aaron makes a cutting gesture and leaves the kitchen. “Fine. Do whatever you want.”

Nicky emerges next, yawning as he rubs his bleary eyes. “What happened? I heard you guys arguing.”

Andrew stares into his cereal bowl, corralling his emotions and locking them away.

Nicky sighs when he realizes that he won’t get an answer. “Just don’t go to school first and leave him behind like you did last time, okay?”

Which is exactly what Andrew does, of course.

He finds Neil frowning into his locker as other students bustle down the hallway. He leans against the locker next to Neil’s, completely forgoing his own. Neil glances at him, but the frown doesn’t disappear.

“Those assholes,” he mutters.

Andrew peers into the locker to inspect what damage has been done to Neil’s belongings today. A grainy photo of him is put up among a few candles and some chrysanthemums to resemble a shrine for the deceased; they must have broken into his locker to set it up. As unimaginative as always.

Neil snuffs out the candles with a few blows before grabbing a textbook and banging his locker shut.

“Rest in peace,” Andrew says blandly.

“I’m dead inside anyway,” Neil says wryly, turning towards the direction of his class, “so I guess this is just swell.”

Andrew grips his elbow to stop him from walking, swivelling him back around until that they’re standing toe to toe. He takes inventory, eyes raking all over Neil’s body and face. When he finds no injury, he lets go, ignoring the puzzled look Neil gives him.   

He walks him to his classroom and goes to his own, slumping down on his sequestered seat at the back. 

The small group of football jocks that have been targeting Neil since early in the year are a nuisance more than anything. Their tactics are predictable, and they haven’t tried to lay a finger on Neil ever since Neil slashed their leader’s hand and punched his face in while Andrew knocked out a few of his friends. Andrew has also planted the seeds to one of their school’s hottest gossips: Neil Josten is under Andrew Minyard’s protection, and Andrew Minyard is a monster, so you better think twice before you touch what’s his.

As long as they stick to their childish bullying, Andrew won’t have to keep them in line. 

It is, however, getting insurmountably annoying. 

Two weeks ago, they stole Neil’s textbooks and dumped them in the pond at the back of the school. A month ago, they spray-painted the gym wall with Neil’s name and a few misspelled slurs. Two months ago, they trashed the Math club’s activity room and pissed all over the geometric equipment.

He thinks it’s high time someone teaches them a lesson.

During lunch, he goes up to the roof to find Neil already waiting for him. They’re the only two people at school who ever climb up here, since they’re the only two people at school who know how to pick locks. Neil passes him the peanut butter and jelly sandwich his uncle made and Andrew passes him the fruit salad Nicky packed, and they eat in silence until Neil starts talking about the bake sale his club is organizing at the end of the week.

“Andrew? Are you listening?”

Andrew glances to the left, then to the right, expression unchanged. “I hear something.”

A frown takes over Neil’s face. “Me. I’m speaking. You’re hearing me.”

Andrew meets his gaze. “Didn’t you hear? You’re dead. And the dead cannot speak.”

“Hilarious,” Neil deadpans. He stabs a piece of mango with his fork and chews on it, the lines on his face indicating that he’s deep in thought. Andrew studies each one, itches to reach out and run his fingers over them.

“You know,” Neil says slowly, “the school year is almost ending.”

“I am aware,” Andrew replies, focused on the way Neil’s plush lips are glistening with fruit juice.  

“Jefferson is graduating,” Neil continues, toying with his fork, the metal glinting in the sunlight as it rolls over supple fingers. “And we haven’t given him a goodbye present yet.”

His eyes dart up to meet Andrew’s, a dangerous gleam in them, and Andrew cottons on to what he is saying.

“That cannot do,” he tells Neil.

“No,” Neil concurs, “it can’t.”

“Not when he has been so generous with you these past few months.”

“Oh, yes. My chemistry textbook is still moist from its trip to the pond.”

Andrew feels the prickle of excitement at the base of his spine. He hasn’t felt it in years. “I suppose we have to return the favor.”

Neil smiles, sharp as the penknife he always carries in his pocket. “Yes,” he agrees, “I suppose we do.”

*

They frame him for inappropriate use of performance-enhancing drugs.

Andrew gets the supply from one of the servers who works at Eden’s Twilight with him, and Neil plants the evidence, slipping in and out of the football locker room like an elegant fox.

It’s easy, and it’s worth it.

He gets into a ton of trouble for it, but not enough to jeopardize his entire future in football. 

A shame, really.

But Andrew lets it go, because Neil seems pleased enough by the whole shitstorm, smiling to himself after they hear that a few schools have withdrawn their athletic scholarship offers.  

On the last day of school, they decide to steal his friend’s car.

Davis drives a BMW 4-series Gran Coupe and parks it in his driveway. Andrew breaks into the car, and Neil hotwires it.

As they blow through the neighborhood, Neil laughs, the sound as tantalizing as the first time Andrew heard it. 

They leave the car in a playground on the other side of the city; the plan was never to keep it, only to fuck around with Davis.

Neil calls a cab to take them back to Andrew’s place because his uncle is a rich businessman who gives him a generous allowance - even though his drab wardrobe suggests otherwise. In the backseat of the cab, Andrew observes the way the city lights dance around Neil’s face in a kaleidoscope of neon colors.

They try to move soundlessly as they enter the house. Aaron and Nicky should be back from Eden’s Twilight by now, and while they’re deep sleepers, Andrew doesn’t want to risk waking them up and having them pry into his business.

They’re at the top of the stairs when Aaron’s door swings open. He notices them when he crosses the hall to the bathroom, his body going stiff. His face, after the initial surprise disappears, morphs into a scowl.

“So you skipped work to hang out with your boyfriend?”

Before Andrew can tug Neil into his room and ignore his brother like he usually does, Neil shoots back with, “What’s it to you, asshole?”

Anger flares up in Aaron’s eyes, hot and quick, his curled fists shaking. Jaw clenched, he bites out, “It’s nothing to me.”

He returns to his room, slamming the door shut.

Neil sighs, all sense of antagonism leaving him. “I don’t get your brother.”

Andrew doesn’t either, but that is not an issue he needs to deal with tonight. His fingers circle around Neil’s thin wrist as he leads them to his room.

He flicks the light on while Neil flops onto his bed, shirt riding up to expose a strip of his flat stomach. Andrew forces himself to look away, taking off his shoes and carefully lowering himself next to Neil.

Neil looks up at him, a small smile playing over his lips. “I had fun.”

“I did, too,” Andrew says, allowing himself to admit as much. He finds that he wants to tell Neil these things, to share them with him.

“I’m glad you did.” Neil curls up on his side, pillowing an arm under his head. He looks soft, body relaxed over Andrew’s bedsheets.

Andrew’s hand twitches, and he feels like he is about to do something very, very stupid. He abruptly stands, goes over to his drawers, snatches a change of clothes, and hurls them at Neil.

“Go,” he orders, pointing to the door.

Neil obeys, going out to the bathroom, his lips still curled around a smile. Andrew avoids meeting his eyes for a while, so it isn’t until he himself returns from his trip to the bathroom that he notices that Neil has removed his contact lenses.

It’s the second time Andrew’s seen his real eye color, a chilling blue that stands stark against the amber of his hair. He sits cross-legged on the bed, his phone in his hands.

“Your uncle?” Andrew asks.

Neil nods. “I texted him to let him know that I’ll be spending the night here.”

Andrew doesn’t ask anything further, but Neil explains, “He won’t mind. He’s actually glad that I’m out socializing.” With a shrug, Neil drops his phone onto the mattress. “He can be so weird about it sometimes.”

Aside from the fact that Neil’s parents are both dead and that his uncle is now his legal guardian, Andrew doesn’t know much else about Neil’s family life. The rumor which states that Neil is the son of a crime lord is debunked when Andrew asked him about it and he said that his father was less of a gangster and more of a deranged man who had an unhealthy obsession with knives; hence, the scars on the right side of his face. He left the circumstances of his parents’ deaths vague, but Andrew doesn’t need to know much else; he is satisfied just from knowing that Neil’s uncle doesn’t mistreat him.  

After all, Neil didn’t press him about the details surrounding the death of Aaron’s mother; he had simply stared at Andrew with calm understanding and moved on.

Right now, he’s staring at Andrew with droopy eyes and a content smile. He’s dressed in Andrew’s clothes and perched on Andrew’s bed - and really, nothing could be worse than this. 

He scrounges his closet for a spare futon and blanket, throwing them on the floor.

“Sleep,” he says, and Neil nods, sliding off his bed with a yawn.

After switching off the light, Andrew crawls under the covers and lies on his side, back against the wall and face turned towards where Neil is. His eyes adjust to the dark, and he makes out the outline of Neil’s sleeping face with the help of the street light filtering in from the window.

The thing about Andrew is that he doesn’t want to stop watching, and he thinks that it’s definitely become a problem.    

****

Buy me a coffee

“Oh god. Andrew! I’m sorry, I—”

“Look,” Andrew leans into Raj’s space. “Do you know where the class is or not? I need to pick up my teammate.”

“Y-yeah,” Raj nods. “It’s on the second floor, left hallway, third room on your right.”

“Lovely.” Andrew stalks away and hears the group erupt into furious whispers. He catches a few words: probation, fight, knives, Exy, medication. Andrew ignores it. He’d like to see how these soft children would function after what he’s been through. He regrets the thought almost instantly; no one deserves to grow up like he did.

With his head messed up and his heart worried about Neil, Andrew hurries up the stairs, jogging towards the classroom. The door is open and he hears voices drifting out into the hallway. A man’s voice carries; he has a faint British accent and he sounds young. Andrew peeks in and finds Neil standing at his professor’s desk, the two of them bowed over some sheets of paper, the professor pointing out various things and Neil nodding along. Neil makes a quiet suggestion and his professor lights up, beaming at him and giving him a friendly pat on the shoulder.

Andrew decides that he’s not a fan of the professor, even if he is stupidly handsome for a guy who does math all day.

Displaying tact that would have shocked his entire team, Andrew knocks politely on the doorframe, startling both Neil and the teacher.

“Andrew!” Now Neil is the one beaming, his pleased surprise genuine. “What are you doing here?”

“Renee couldn’t make it so I said I’d pick you up after class. Did it run late?” Andrew stares at the teacher as he asks this, searching the man’s face for guilt.

“Not at all,” the teacher replies. “Mr. Josten has been acing all the assignments and tests this semester so I thought I’d show him some more challenging work.”

This is the first Andrew has heard of it. Every time he catches Neil doing homework Neil is either asleep with his face planted in his textbook or he’s doodling in the margins of his notes. He had assumed that Neil’s academic performance would be subpar at best.

“Is that so?” Andrew asks. He studies Neil, seeing him in a new light.

“Quite.” The professor looks absurdly proud, as if he had anything to do with Neil being exceptional. “I’ve been trying to get Mr. Josten to switch to a mathematics major. There are many different careers that I think he would enjoy if—”

“He plays Exy,” Andrew interrupts. Neil shoots him an annoyed glance but Andrew continues. “He’s a jock, most likely he’ll go pro after college. He doesn’t need all this.”

The professor gathers his papers together into a neat stack and adjusts his glasses, shifting them up. His expression is mild, kind, and that grates on Andrew’s nerves even more.

“I’m sure your right,” the professor says softly. “Neil is a competent and intelligent young man, and, according to you, he’s also athletically gifted. I’m sure that whatever career he pursues he will excel in it.”

Neil ducks his head, the tips of his ears turning pink. The bashful look is foreign on him. Andrew’s never seen him like this, and especially not around a grown man; Neil tends to avoid them like they’re the plague.

“However,” the professor continues, “professional sports are an arduous undertaking, though athletes are generously compensated for their efforts. Would it not be good planning to have a fall back plan?”

Andrew’s never planned for a future and he can’t imagine scared, runaway Neil mapping out a five-step plan to success. Before he can tell the teacher what he thinks Neil speaks up.

“Thank you, Dr. Fahiym. I really appreciate you taking the time to show me some new problems and for giving me advice on my major. I’ll definitely take what you said into consideration when planning for next semester.”

Andrew doesn’t recognize this version of Neil. He talks like an adult and carries himself like he wants to impress his teacher. Dr. Fahiym shakes Neil’s hand and gives him a few booklets to take with him. Neil thanks him again and turns to join Andrew.

They don’t speak on the way out of the building. Neil’s knuckles are white where he’s got his book bag strap clenched in a death grip. His mouth is set in a hard line and his blue eyes look capable of shooting laser beams.

Once they are safely back in Fox Tower Neil leaves Andrew and returns to his room, slamming the door behind him. Andrew stands in the hall wondering at Neil’s sudden display of temper. He has some good guesses as to what is really bothering Neil but decides to wait him out. When Neil’s ready he’ll talk about it, with an unsmoked cigarette cupped in his hands, and his eyes trained on Andrew’s face.

-----

Neil doesn’t broach the subject that night after their late practice with Kevin. His anger has dissipated and now he’s just sad and quiet. He kisses Andrew slowly, his fingers buried in his hair. Something about Neil’s eyes in this moment reminds Andrew of the sea. It’s complicated and Neil is distracting so it takes Andrew longer than usual to figure it out. Neil’s gaze is distant and detached, like kissing Andrew is the one thing keeping him anchored as he drifts away, bobbing up and down, pulled by an unseen and insidious current.

Andrew pushes Neil to the roof and hovers over him. All they do is kiss and Andrew wonders if that’s enough or too much, wonders if he’s able to reach Neil at all.

-----

Nothing changes but gradually Neil’s lost-at-sea vibe goes away. He spends more time doing math homework and Andrew notices the pamphlets on his desk from the career office, each one marked with a helpful stickie note from Dr. Fahiym. Neil keeps them in a tidy pile on his desk, making them stand out from the rest of his mess.

Matt must have noticed them as well because after one of their practices he tells the rest of the team, “Did you all know that Neil is a secret math genius?”

Kevin and Nicky both scoff and Aaron rolls his eyes.

“Very funny,” Nicky says as he towel dries his hair. “Everyone knows that Neil is a member of the Useless Jock Club.” He tries to hug Neil but Neil ducks under his arm.

“I’m serious!” Matt protests. “I’ve seen his tests. Straight 100s or sometimes he gets over a hundred if there’s extra credit. Plus his teacher leaves him all these notes and smiley faces on there. It’s not fair.”

Allison perks up. “I smell a bet!” she sings. “Here, Neil.” She grabs her phone and, after a few moments of searching, tosses it to him. “Solve this.”

Everyone gathers around Neil as he carefully copies the problem onto a notepad. Just looking at the complicated arrangement of numbers and letters makes Andrew’s eyes cross. It looks like a pointless exercise. Nothing useful. And Neil is all about cultivating useful talents to help him survive.

Neil finishes scratching out the problem and his lips curl into a smile. It’s like Allison has just given him a fun puzzle to solve, not a migraine-inducing conundrum. Andrew sits on the arm of Neil’s chair and watches as he diligently works through the problem. His handwriting is neat and precise, and each step is clearly broken down line by line.

Andrew looks around at the group, cataloging their reactions. Aaron looks grudgingly impressed, Kevin looks confused, Renee is smiling like she gets whatever the fuck Neil is doing (she doesn’t), Dan is mouthing shut up shut up and looking like she’s watching an Exy play by play, Matt looks proud, Allison is looking like a smug bitch, and Nicky looks like he’s about to say something inappropriate.

“Is anyone else getting turned on by this?” Nicky whispers. Andrew glares at him. “I’m just saying! Smart is the new sexy! Neil, how are you doing this? You’ve probably had more blunt force trauma to the head than the rest of us combined.”

Neil ignores them all and scrawls a few more letters and numbers before sitting back and pushing the paper to the center of the table.

“Done.” He looks at Allison and she blows him a kiss.

“Aced it, baby,” Allison coos. “Looks like we officially have some brains on this team.”

“Hey,” Aaron snarls.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Allison says, not sounding sorry at all. “Where are your straight A’s Mr. Science Guy.”

“I’m getting A’s in all my classes,” Aaron answers. “Neil’s only good at math.”

“Sour grapes,” Dan pipes up. She wraps her arm around Neil’s shoulders. “That was impressive as fuck, Neil. Remind me to hit you up next time I need some math done.”

-----

They don’t talk about the math thing until the weekend when they’re sitting at the kitchen table in Columbia. Neil looks tired but present, wearing a soft grey sleep shirt and a pair of Andrew’s sweatpants. He’s drawing doodles in the condensation on the side of his cup of orange juice. Not doodles – formulas – or whatever the shit fancy math problems were called.

“You got mad at me,” Andrew says, “when I told your teacher that you were only good for Exy.”

Neil stops his absent tracing and blinks at Andrew.

“What was that about?”

“Oh, you mean besides being annoyed that you were rude to one of the few people who actually thinks I’m more than my ability to run around on a field scoring points?” Neil snaps.

Andrew bites the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling. It’s always delightful to watch Neil go from placid to feisty in no time flat.

“Were you really mad at me for being rude?” he asks. “I’m rude to everyone, Neil.”

Neil sighs and tugs his fingers through his messy hair. “It’s just… you think I’m an idiot. I mean, you’ve literally called me that. Multiple times. And everyone else thinks that, too, though most of them won’t call me that. Kevin likes trash talking me more than anything… your brother probably thinks I’m too stupid to function. Wymack says I’m a… well it’s not nice.” Neil’s fire is gone and he’s left sounding bleak and pitiful. “But Dr. Fahiym didn’t even know I was here on a sports scholarship! He’s been helping me and showing me that if I wanted to I could have a career in math.”

Neil goes quiet. He holds onto his glass of orange juice with both hands, smudging his work. Andrew tries to wait him out but he can tell Neil is on the verge of shutting down completely so he prods some more.

“Okay. So you’re smart in math. Why are you looking like you want to die?”

Neil doesn’t answer right away. Then he whispers, “I want more than this, Andrew.”

“More than what?” Andrew scoots forward and grabs Neil’s chin, tipping his head up.

Neil swallows and his eyes get glassy. “I want to finish this semester and come back in the fall. I want to major in math and I want to play Exy. I want to graduate. I want—” His voice cracks and he swallows again. “I want to matter.”

Andrew moves closer and hauls Neil over onto his lap. Neil straddles him, holding most of his weight off of Andrew’s thighs until Andrew tugs him down. They’re past that. Neil rubs the heels of his hands into his eyes, sniffing.

“Neil.” Andrew strokes his shoulders, his back. “You matter.”

Neil puts his arms down. His face is red around his eyes and the tip of his nose and along his cheekbones. Neil is a pretty crier. Andrew’s not surprised.

“You’re enough and I appreciate you for trying.”

More tears escape the corners of Neil’s eyes and his lower lip trembles.

“Dammit, Andrew,” Neil mutters, his voice thick. “Why are you being nice?”

Andrew kisses Neil’s chin, his mouth, his cheek.

“I made you cry,” Andrew answers. “Seems only fair that I make you stop crying.”

“Ah.” Neil tilts his head back as Andrew kisses his throat. “That is fair.”

“Smartass,” Andrew says.

Neil laughs and Andrew feels it, Neil shaking against him. “Did you just call me smart?”

“I called you an ass, too,” Andrew reminds him.

“Also true.”

-----

Later that night while Andrew is trying to lull himself to sleep he replays their conversation. He remembers the early days, when he was suspicious of Neil and determined to unearth his secrets. He had said something about Neil’s loose ends not adding up and Neil had replied that he wasn’t a math problem. Andrew told Neil he would still solve him but here he is, months later, still mystified by Neil Josten. It isn’t a bad thing.

Just last weekend they took a break from the Halloween gore fest to watch one of Nicky’s favorite movies, “Pirates of the Caribbean.” Neil sat next to Andrew, their beanbags smushed together so they could see the TV screen. About half way through the movie Andrew had nestled down in his beanbag and tugged at Neil’s shirt until Neil also scooted down so they were level with each other. Neil was glad it was dark in the room because his ears were burning. Andrew didn’t do anything obvious like put his arm around Neil but they were lying down next to each other, arms and legs touching. Neil reached out with his fingers, searching until he bumped into Andrew’s hand. He felt a jolt pass through him when Andrew curled his fingers around Neil’s. He couldn’t even concentrate on the rest of the movie, too aware of Andrew’s touch and breathing. After the movie Andrew drove him back to Columbia, to a random neighborhood that Neil didn’t live in. They sat in the car for several long minutes, Neil’s heart racing. He had seen enough movies to know what should happen next. He glanced at Andrew and was a little disappointed to find that Andrew wasn’t looking back. Neil had cleared his throat and made an excuse to leave and thanked Andrew for the ride. Andrew was quiet and he kept both hands on the wheel as he watched Neil leave.

Now Neil doesn’t know what to think. He was so sure Andrew would kiss him. He’s felt that tension for months and it took him many restless nights to figure it out. Andrew likes him. Andrew maybe, probably, wants to kiss him. At first Neil wasn’t sure if he wanted Andrew to kiss him. Then he thought about it some more and decided that maybe it would be okay. Now he definitely wants Andrew to kiss him. It doesn’t have to be movie perfect. He just needs to know, to be sure. This is all new territory; he’s never liked anyone before Andrew. He’s told Carson a little bit about how he’s feeling, but he talks to Carson’s sister, Juliana more. She’s older and she doesn’t laugh at him like Carson. Even though Carson’s a good friend he makes comments that Neil doesn’t appreciate, like making it seem like Neil’s virgin status is somehow the biggest joke ever.

Right now Neil is browsing Halloween costumes with Juliana and Carson. The local Halloween festival is tonight and they’re planning to attend and then sneak into Eden’s for the Halloween party. Neil’s been to the nightclub a few times but it’s not his favorite place; he prefers the coziness of Andrew’s dorm suite or hanging out at the Ramirez house with Carson, Juliana, and Ezra.

“Ugh, why are all the female costumes so slutty?” Juliana complains. She holds up a sexy nurse outfit and Neil wrinkles his nose. “Right? I’m tempted to buy some scrubs from Wal-mart instead.”

Neil riffles through the costumes but nothing looks appealing.

“I could be a cat,” he suggests hopefully.

Juliana shakes her head and Carson appears at Neil’s side with an exaggerated “rawr!”

“You could be a sexy catboy,” Carson says, playfully scratching at Neil’s arm. “I bet Andrew would love to pull your little kitty tail.”

“Uhh…” Neil stammers. Juliana swats Carson.

“Leave Neil alone, you little perv,” Juliana scolds. She takes Neil’s hand and leads him to the back of the shop. The back wall is covered in props and elaborate masks.

“Maybe this is all you need,” Juliana says. She pulls a couple masks down and hands them to Neil.

They’re glittery, feathery, pretty. Neil shakes his head and passes them back. “Too fancy for me,” he says. He studies the masks and finds a cat one that he likes but he’s too worried about what Juliana will say so he doesn’t get it. However, right next to it, is a fox mask. It’s perfect if a bit elegant. It looks like something that would be worn to a masquerade. He takes it off the wall and shows it to Juliana.

“Oh Neil that’s perfect!” Juliana gasps, clapping her hands together. “Here, try it on!”

The mask covers half of Neil’s face, from his nose to his forehead. It’s a cream color with details and designs done in golds and black. Juliana ties it for him and they study his reflection in the mirror.

“So handsome, Neil,” Juliana says, her hand on his shoulder as she leans her head next to Neil’s. “Let’s pick out a few more accessories and then you’ll be good to go.”

“What about your costume?” Neil asks, slipping the mask off his face.

Juliana grins and grabs a couple face-painting kits, hair spray colors, and a tube of gold lipstick. “I think I have a few things at home I can whip into a costume.”

They meet Carson at the front of the store where he’s debating between something that’s tight and all pleather and a merman costume. After some intense discussion with Juliana, Carson settles on the merman.

“Won’t you be cold?” Neil asks as they bring their purchases to the counter.

Carson laughs. “Probably! But I haven’t been working on these abs for over a year just to cover them up tonight.”

Ever since Carson turned eighteen he’s been taking his party life very seriously. Neil doesn’t really get it, the way Carson wants to have everyone looking at him and wanting him. Really, the two of them couldn’t be more opposite if they tried and yet they still get along, as long as they steer clear of one of Carson’s favorite topics: sex.

Back at the Ramirez house, Juliana and Ezra help Neil put together an outfit from their wardrobes. Neil can usually fit into Ezra’s pants and Juliana’s shirts and tonight they’ve created what Juliana calls a sophisticated and mysterious look: dark skinny jeans paired with a loose black cable knit turtleneck.

“Now for the finishing touches!” Juliana announces before sweeping Neil into the bathroom. Ezra follows them and perches on the edge of the tub, watching as Juliana breaks out the makeup and hair colors.

Ezra and Juliana chat while Juliana works. Neil’s back is to the mirror so he only has Ezra’s reactions to go by. Carson’s little brother beams and gasps as Juliana does whatever it is she’s doing.

“I can’t wait until I’m old enough to go clubbing,” Ezra says. Tonight his friends are coming over after the festival to watch movies. Neil sort of wishes he could stay in and watch movies, too.

“Ah! No!” Juliana protests. “Not my baby brother! You can’t ever grow up.”

Carson pops in a few minutes later, shirtless, and crowds in next to Neil.

“Is it me or is it hot in here?!” he says, fanning himself dramatically. Neil blushes and looks away.

“It’s hot,” Juliana says dryly, “because there are four people in here and no ventilation.”

“Ugh, I know,” Carson agrees. “Let’s pretend it’s preparation for tonight.” He takes two starfish stickers out of his pocket and carefully applies them on his chest, right over his nipples. He flexes his abs a few times and blows a kiss to his reflection. “Juli do my makeup after Neil, please?”

Juliana takes the tube of lipstick and leans in, rubbing it over Neil’s lips.

“Well, since you said ‘please,’” she mutters. “There you go, Neil. All done. Well, except you need Ezra to paint your nails black.”

Neil stands up and turns to take in his transformation.

He scarcely recognizes himself. Besides the gold lipstick he’s now sporting black eyeliner, gold eye shadow, something shimmery on his cheekbones, and he has streaks of gold highlighting his black hair. He puts on the mask and Carson ties it for him. The four of them stare at his reflection.

“Damn, Neil,” Carson breathes in his ear.

“I know, right?” Juliana grins.

Ezra blushes and looks away.

“I think you’re giving my baby brother a sexuality crisis,” Carson jokes. Ezra smacks him before storming out.

“You’re such a dick,” Neil says.

“Yep,” Carson winks. Juliana rolls her eyes and gets to work on Carson’s merman makeup.

-----

Three hours later the trio is artfully attired and en route to the Halloween festival. Juliana drives and Carson plays DJ, playing songs from his spooky party mix. Neil sits in the backseat and clutches his phone. Over an hour ago he texted a picture of his costume to Andrew and he hasn’t received a reply, which is troubling. Andrew almost always writes back immediately unless he’s in class or practice. Not that Neil texts him during those times. It’s embarrassing to admit but Neil has Andrew’s schedule memorized, everything from class to practice, study hall to his weekly appointments with his therapist.

Juliana circles around several blocks before finding a parking spot on a residential street. They pile out of the car, Juliana already on the phone with her friends. She waves bye to Neil and Carson and struts off looking totally badass in her shredded dress, her hair teased up and wild.

“Who is she supposed to be?” Neil asks Carson.

“The Corpse Bride,” Carson replies. He’s texting someone and nearly walks into the street before Neil catches his arm.

“Your sister is so cool,” Neil sighs. Hanging out with Carson always makes him homesick for the family he’s never had.

“Hey!” Carson slaps a hand over his stickered chest. “What about me?”

“You’re okay,” Neil teases.

They bicker back and forth until they reach the entrance to the festival. Carson has people turning heads left and right, some with admiring glances and some… not so much. Carson holds his head high and Neil glares at anyone who gives his friend dirty looks.

“Damn, I should have worn my rainbow flag,” Carson whispers. “Really rubbed it in those motherfuckers’ faces.”

“There’s a face painting booth over there,” Neil gestures. “I bet they’d paint a rainbow on you.”

Carson beams at him. “Sometimes I forget how much I love you,” he says, and pulls Neil into a tight side hug.

“Yes, yes,” Neil says, worming his way out of Carson’s hold. “Save it for Darren.”

“I’m saving a lot for Darren,” Carson grins.

Ten minutes later Carson has a rainbow heart painted on his bicep and he’s smiling so big that it’s nearly blinding. They wander through the festival, checking out the different booths, buying snacks, and counting down the hours until the party. Neil checks him phone obsessively but still nothing from Andrew. Maybe he read things wrong? Maybe Andrew was just being friendly this whole time and Neil thought it was more than that. Carson’s been saying that Andrew had a thing for Neil and Neil trusts his judgment in these matters and yet… nothing. Neil scowls at his phone and finally decides to turn it off.

“Oh Neil, check it out!” Carson tugs at Neil’s arm, pulling him towards a new attraction. “It’s the haunted house!”

Looming in front of them is a downtown storefront that’s been transformed into something from those scary movies Carson loves.

“They’re going real down home southern gothic, huh?” Carson observes.

Neil nods. The windows are thick with dust and cobwebs. Spanish moss hangs from window ledges and piles around the front. An old cross hangs crooked on the door. Neil spies what looks like a dead possum tacked up by the tail.

“That’s not real, is it?” he whispers to Carson.

“Difficult to say,” Carson murmurs.

Although Neil isn’t eager to go inside he can’t say no to Carson so they pay the terrifying old woman (her apron is stained with fake blood and her false teeth are appalling) and enter the building.

The interior is nearly pitch dark. Carson holds the lantern the woman gave them, its feeble yellow light illuminating only a small area of the room. Neil doesn’t want to appear cowardly but he is freaked out. He huddles next to Carson and scans the room. He knows it’s fake, a setup, but it feels like his worst nightmares. He can imagine killers – his father’s men – waiting in the dark to capture him.

The floor creaks as they edge into the room. Soft sobbing comes from one of the corners, then the scrap of metal on wood. Neil feels the hair on his arms stand straight up.

Carson moves towards the sound and Neil wants to snatch him back, to bolt for the exit and leave. Instead he steals himself and follows the light, follows the trail of ruddy grime smeared on the floor.

The weeping gets louder. Carson raises the lantern, revealing a figure hunched in the corner. Neil guesses the person is a woman because they’re wearing a long white dress or shirt. Well, it used to be white, now it’s nearly grey with dirt and stains. Neil hides behind Carson, irrationally undone by this person cowering on the floor.

Carson takes another step forward and – without warning – the person twists around and lunges for him, face ghastly and twisted, teeth gnashing and blood oozing down their chin.

Neil yells. Carson yells. The zombie person shrieks as the chain around their ankle pulls them to a halt. Still the zombie thrashes and claws for them, yellowed eyes glaring.

“Oh my fucking god. Oh fuck. Fuck me,” Carson gasps. Neil can’t say a word, his heart feels like it’s about to escape from his chest. “Jesus Christ! I almost shit myself. Neil, you okay?”

Neil grabs Carson’s arm and nods his head even though Carson can’t see him in the dark. “Let’s-let’s k-keep moving,” Neil says.

They retreat carefully, backing up so that they can keep the zombie in view. Really, whoever did the makeup was too good and the actress? actor? deserves a medal.

The next room is just as terrifying, so is the one after that. They’ve encountered a cannibal and a werewolf and Neil has no desire to go upstairs but he can’t leave Carson by himself.

“I hate you,” Neil whispers fiercely as they climb the staircase. “You owe me… I’m not sure what but it’s a lot.”

“You’re the one always crashing at my place,” Carson reminds him. “I think this is payback, don’t you?”

Neil can’t argue with him but it feels like a low blow. He says nothing, smarting from Carson’s casual comment. He knows Carson didn’t intend to be mean, that Carson doesn’t know any better, but still.

Upstairs they find a large room with a bed in the middle. A man is strapped to the bed, his wrists and ankles stretched out, bound to the posts. His shirt is missing and his bare chest and arms are crusted with wounds and decay. He moans deliriously, blood seeping from his black eyes.

“Ah dude, that’s sick,” Carson says. Neil glances around the room at the burning candles, the upside down crucifix, the ancient Bible lying face down on the floor. He knows this scene and immediately feels comforted by the familiarity. It’s just pretend.

Then the man’s head snaps to the side and his body bows against his restraints.

“Neilllllllll,” the man sings, his voice hoarse and wretched. “Neillllllll.” His sightless eyes pin Neil to the spot. Neil can’t breathe, can’t move. “I found youuuuuu.”

He doesn’t hear the cracked, southern drawl in the man’s voice. He hears his father’s cold, precise tone. He hears the end of Neil Josten.

A hand on Neil’s wrist jerks him out of his paralysis. Without thinking Neil viciously kicks out at the person, ignoring their cry of pain, and sprints for the stairs. He makes it half way down before crashing into someone. For several confused, terrified moments Neil fights against the person until whoever it is manages to wrap him up in a tight hug, pinning his arms.

“You’re okay, you’re okay,” the person says. “Take a deep breath. Let it out. Again. Breathe. Good. You’re doing good. One more time. Breathe. And let it out.” Neil shivers and obeys the voice. He feels weak, like his legs are about to give out. It’s been forever since he’s been triggered like that.

“Carson?” the person calls out. “Are you okay up there?”

“Yeah.” Carson doesn’t sound okay. “How’s Neil?”

“He’s… I’m going to take him outside and get some air.”

Neil doesn’t know if he can walk but his helper gets an arm around his waist and slowly guides him down the dark stairs, a narrow hall, and out into the dim twilight.

Andrew leads Neil over to the sidewalk and they sit down on the curb. Neil blinks up at Andrew, his heart finally slowing. He’s too wrung out to be embarrassed. He carefully leans against Andrew until his head is resting on his shoulder.

“Sorry,” Neil whispers.

Andrew pushes Neil’s mask back so he can see his face. “Don’t be,” Andrew replies. “It was a shitty thing to do.”

Neil frowns. “What… are you talking about?”

Andrew sighs and brushes Neil’s hair off his forehead. “I got a text from Carson saying that he was going to prank you in the haunted house. He thought it would be hilarious. I tried texting and calling you to warn you but you never got back with me.”

Neil blushes. “I turned my phone off because… well, because you didn’t text me back earlier.” He ducks his head and stares at the black polish on his nails. “It’s stupid.”

“Oh.” Andrew pauses, his hand resting against the back of Neil’s neck. “I tried to get in touch with Carson, too, to tell him not to do it. Obviously I failed.” Andrew strokes Neil’s hair; each touch careful and softer than Neil ever thought Andrew was capable of.

“It’s… whatever.” Neil feels like crying. Because he’s a mess and he’s always going to go through life afraid. He had spent the last four months relaxing, letting his guard down, making friends, and even hoping that someone might like him, but it’s all a farce. He is the Butcher’s Son and someday that incontrovertible fact is going to catch up with him. Hoping for a better outcome is simply foolish – and dangerous – denial.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Andrew asks.

Neil shakes his head.

“Alright. Well, how about I tell you why I didn’t text you back earlier?” Andrew’s suggestion takes Neil by surprise and distracts him from his misery.

“Okay,” Neil says. He tips his head so he can look at Andrew.

Andrew’s fingers comb through his hair, trace the curve of his ear. Neil feels like he’s melting. No one’s ever touched him like this, like he was something – someone – special.

“This is the wrong time to tell you,” Andrew admits. His voice is quiet, like he’s sharing a secret. “I couldn’t text you back because there was nothing I could honestly say that wouldn’t reveal how I feel about you.”

Neil’s heart skips a beat. He wants to grab Andrew’s hand and demand to know exactly how he feels. So he does.

“Andrew.” Neil sits up and holds Andrew’s hand between his own. “Tell me. I- I need to know.”

Andrew moves his hand until he’s cupping Neil’s chin. His expression is more open than Neil has ever seen it. Andrew’s looking at him like… Neil’s face burns.

“I wanted to tell you that I can’t look at you without thinking about kissing you.” Neil feels like he’s going to pass out. “I could quote you hundreds of cheesy movie lines but what it comes down to is this: you’re the person I think of the most and the one that I dream about.” Really, Neil is seconds from swooning. “And if you make me keep confessing while giving me that look I might die. Just saying.”

Neil releases Andrews so he can cover his face and hide his wide smile. He’s going to spontaneously combust. It’s sad that his demise will come so soon after the happiest moment in his life but life is never fair.

“Neil, say something.” The tension in Andrew’s voice pulls Neil out of his happy, internal melt down.

Andrew’s shoulders are tight, his hands balled up and resting on his thighs. He’s so wound up that he looks like he’s about to explode, too. Neil holds his hands out and Andrew places his palms over Neil’s.

“I was hoping you would say that,” Neil says. “I thought that I was the only one who was feeling things. And I’ve never felt anything like this before and it was awful, thinking that you didn’t like me back.”

“Why would you think that?” Andrew asks, bewildered.

“Because! You drove me home last weekend and you didn’t even try to kiss me good night! Even though we held hands during half the movie and all I could think about was you. I don’t even know how the movie ended or what happened to Elizabeth—”

Neil’s digression into Pirates of the Caribbean is cut short by Andrew’s finger pressing against his lips.

“Neil,” Andrew says, his face as serious as Neil has ever seen it, “I really want to kiss you now. Yes or no?”

Neil smiles and pushes Andrew’s hand out of the way.

“Yes.”