Mario: *excited, relieved* Glitchy! *runs towards him*

SMG4: Mario! *runs to meet him*

Mario: Glitchy!

4: Mario!

Mario: *falters as he Remembers* Glitchy...

4: confused and concerned* Mario?

Mario: *pissed, accelerating* SMG4...

4: ...ah, shit. *turns to run away instead*

Mario: GET BACK HERE!

---

Lily: Alright, I'll go to the stupid fancy party. But I'm not wearing a dress.

Lil Coding: I'll wear it!

---

Tulip: Ash I swear to god give it back.

Ranma: What hapened?

Tulip: She stole my thesaurus.

Ash: She peddles falsehoods

---

(during Spaghetti Metal)

Tyde: I hate old people. "I was in the war" congratulations, I'm gonna be in the next one and they have pepperoni cannons now.

---

Past 3: Of all the things I thought I would be doing today, cleaning up after a failed apocalypse wasn't one of them.

---

Desti: I've been stabbed before, you're a passable stabber at best.

---

Vee: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so baby oil-

Luigi: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE!?

---

Tyde: I think swords are AWESOME! Especially when people fight with two at once. That's the best.

---

Teen Root: I can't believe it. We made it. After everything we've been through.

Teen Lily: Oh, for the love of- my driving wasn't THAT bad!

---

Abyssal: What's the hardest thing to say?

Effi: I was wrong.

Tyde: I need help.

The Marios: Worcestershire sauce.

---

Tyde: Don't kill me, I just got a new roommate!

Spaghetti Cultist: You think I care about that?

Tyde: Oh, that wasn't a plea, that was a warning.

Cultist: Huh?

Bob: *bursts through the wall like the Kool-Aid Man with glowing red eyes*

---

Future Lily: This is bothering me.

Past Meggy: Well, we are gathering pieces of time itself.

Lily: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course by now, actually.

---

Andi: Are you flirting with me?

Roll: I'm trying.

Roll: I have no idea what I'm doing.

---

Tyde: Why did you steal one of my fries?

Bob: *smugly* Dad Tax.

Tyde: YOU'RE NOT MY-

Bob: *steals another* Dad Tax.

---

*a possibility for eventually, a good long while from now, after the Toxic Old Man Yaoi and Trapped Rising Star Circus situations are both resolved, depending on HOW they're resolved...*

Juliano: I dunno, I think Mandy and Lydia are good for each other, I don't have an issue with her in particular and I want to be a supportive brother, but...

Domain: But you're afraid of spiders?

Juliano: I'm afraid of spiders.

---

Tyde: Okay, I know I made a slight mistake-

Teen LC: Whatever you're gonna say, save it for ten seconds.

Tyde: What happens in ten seconds?

Teen Elanore: Just hold on for another five seconds.

Teen Lily: And know that we've all been there at one point or another.

Tyde: What happens in five seconds?

Luigi: *kicks open the door* TYDE WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?

---

Black Doom: The heroes are homophobic.

Phobos: Explain.

Doom: I'm gay and they're inconveniencing me.

---

The Abyss: GOOMBA! I've had it with your shit! You're fired! *throws a ball of horrifically screaming dark technicolor fire at The Goomba Who Sold the World, incinerating him almost instantly, leaving nothing but a mushroom-shaped scorch mark*

Doom: Wow, when you fire somebody you really fire them!

Nimbus vs Link Given that this is specifically Wild Era Link I feel like it'd fit well

Tulip vs Rodney Keyblade wielders, especially light-aligned Keyblade wielders, have a bad matchup against other light-aligned magic users

Tune vs Mega Man Obviously

Frenzy vs Sonic.EXE See above

Red vs Torque Well somebody had to go after the birds

Arle vs Frida The two most skilled (though not most powerful) mages of their respective groups

Shantae vs Quest I just think she'd have a rough time with him

Ash vs Wes As good as Ash is, since Wes is from an actual game that had to be brought to a point where there was no more progress to be made he's got tons of Pokemon, several of which are Legendaries, all at level 100. And he's also a hardened ex-criminal from the Orre Region.

Olimar vs Anchor Mario Even an alternate, less absolutely insane Mario still has a good matchup against Pikmin

Elanore vs Doc Mad scientist battle

Sally & Cole vs Andi & Neo Woman Admittedly it's technically just Cole vs Andi and Roll since Sally's not really equipped for fighting but given just what he's capable of as a maxed out JRPG protagonist I feel like the 2-on-1 is warranted

Irene vs Timmy Not gonna lie, as strategic as the matchup really is I mainly did this one just to make it hurt

Cadance vs Henry Yes I put the most unpredictable motherfucker available into a rhythm game. No I am not sorry

This never?! Showed up! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to ignore this!! D:

aka Fuzzy Meggy au based on that fucked up Fuzzy Desti au @duckapus made where Mr. Grizz found Desti's body in the ocean and decided to do the trial runs for the fuzzy ooze which brought her back to life but fucked her up BIG TIME but like its Meggy instead (here)

(Long post ahead)

Miku: You know there are male flight attendants, right?

Ash: Yeah, but I like the height the heels give me.

---

Andi: I was born at a very young age. I've been alive for as long as I can remember, and I hope to continue living until I die.

Director K: And what do you think you can bring to our company.

Andi: Gonna steal from it.

---

Meggy: Cats are so good. There's just a little guy in my house! We hug! We don't speak the same language! We're best friends! He bites me! I make up little songs about him! He doesn't know my name! We fall asleep next to each other!

---

Melony: The problem with the whole "listen to your body" thing is my body is always telling me it's a great time to get cozy in bed.

---

Mario, laying on 3's therapy couch: I ordered a bunch of sardines in bulk and my kids found them and have started saying to each other "I swear it on my father's sardines" and I dunno it just doesn't feel like I'm coming back from this one.

---

Sonic.EXE to Anchor Mario: Here's a concept: me, riding your ceiling fan like a gargoyle. You, smacking me with a broom. Both of us are yelling.

Anchor Mario, internally: Why couldn't he have latched onto that Rodney guy?

---

*during the Vacation Arc battle*

Whimpu: *somehow holding back Francis's katana with a pool noodle* All women... are QUEENS!

Francis: If she breathes... she's a THOT!

---

Bob: What do you guys know about the 1400's?

SMG4: No wifi.

---

Roll: *wearing a leather jacket and shades she borrowed from Blues and leaning casually on a wall* So, I heard you're into bad girls?

Andi: Whoever told you that was lying.

Roll: *yanks off the shades and slumps over in relief* Oh, thank god!

---

Chester: The file is on your desk. So is a muffin, orange juice and coffee.

Aite: What would I do without you?

Chester: Starve.

---

Red: I'm super focused.

Olimar: You're not even looking at me right now.

---

Crash: My talent is coming off warm and inviting and open but still remaining a fairly closed off person.

---

SMG7: Could you be any more annoying?

Daffy: Easily.

---

Shantae: I took a nap and had a dream we were fighting over fish facts.

Tulip: You and me? Who won?

Shantae: Yeah, I woke up pissed off.

Shantae: The argument was "squids are bugs like shrimp" and they aren't. They're cephalopods and they actually have pretty large brains. And you just kept saying no they're bugs and I was getting pissed.

Tulip, with a completely straight face: Because they are. Dream me was right.

Shantae:

Shantae: *shoves her while they both start giggling* I'm gonna start actually hurting you, you piss me off.

---

Roll: Sometimes I wonder what I taste like.

Andi: I can help with that.

Roll, blushing: *imagines Andi biting her arm with her beartrap beak, sparks and wires flying everywhere, soaked in coolant*

Andi: *also imagines biting Roll's arm but doesn't quite get how robots work so there's blood instead of coolant*

---

Cole, texting Frenzy: Can I ask a question

Frenzy: Sure

Frenzy: Well I don't know I just have quick fingers I guess

Cole: How do you reply so fast

Cole: What the fuck

Frenzy: i can type fast as fuck boi

Cole: i don't believe you

Frenzy: try me

Frenzy: yea you can ask a question

Cole: can I ask a question first

Cole: WHAT THE FUCK

---

*just after the battle at Nintendo World*

Arle: And my final final count is forty-two.

Laharl, sitting on a Black Warrior corpse with her sword buried halfway into it: Impressive. Just what I'd expect from a mage of your skill!

Laharl: I on the other hand happen to be sitting on a count of forty-three. *laughs triumphantly*

Arle: *notices movement and shoots the corpse in the head with a Fireball, incidentally cutting off Laharl's laughter* Forty-three.

Laharl, indignant: He was already dead.

Arle: He was twitching!

Laharl: *while yanking her sword around both to demonstrate and for emphasis* He was twitching because he's got my SWORD embedded in his nervous system!

---

*no you don't get context...yet*

Wareach: Daddy issues are so lame. Just traumatize your father back!

---

Zack: We meet someone.

Jim: We are cheesed to meet them.

Larry: The authorities cannot find enough evidence to make the charges stick.

GG: The case goes cold.

Zack: We meet someone-

---

Cursor: *dead tired from scrambling to make the most of her two month time limit* What if I pour coffee in my cereal instead of milk?

(because they're their own channel with their own arcs)

Ever since the Activation linked together all the different eras of Hyrule, the Link and Zelda of the old DiC cartoon have wondered where their version of the Triforce of Courage might be. Now, they've found a possible lead... and so have the Syndicate.

Meanwhile, Mr. Crocker has finally completed Metal Timmy and decides to use the hunt for the Triforce as a field test.

Also meanwhile, Cookie's on a hunt of her own, following rumors of a dangerous and elusive Program with a familiar color scheme.

Hylian Road Trip

Link, Zelda and Spryte, accompanied by Anchor Link and his some of friends, Frida, Andi, Crabcake, Roll and Timmy, set out across Hyrule guided by ancient legends in search of the long-missing Triforce of Courage. Unfortunately, between the expected chaos of that many Anchors in one group and the discovery that Ganon and several other Syndicate members are following the same legends means it will most definitely not be smooth sailing.

Rise of Metal Timmy

Spryte and Lori are captured by a robotic duplicate of Timmy who has powerful magic and everybody has to fight him to get them back.

Rockin' and Rollin'

During their travels, the party finds a Goron mining facility that's been hijacked by Dr. Wily and Eggman.EXE to unearth an ancient temple that holds a clue to the location of the Triforce of Courage, and the Links and Roll lead the charge to free them.

Temple of Earth

The party explores the temple uncovered in the last episode while accompanied by the Goron Miners' boss, Foreman Bludo. After almost definitely doing some Desecration, getting a magic hammer, and beating a Talus, the end result is freeing a Great Fairy who declares Bludo the Sage of Earth and points them in the direction of Zora City in the heart of the Faron Marsh.

Gorhan's Wild Whitewater Rafting Adventure!

The quickest way from the Goron Mines to the Faron Marsh turns out to be a trip down a raging river. The good news is that said river is a popular destination for adrenalin junkies so there's a group of Gorons who make a living renting rafts and safety gear to tourists. The bad news is they've got an Inkling in the party. The worse news is they've got Syndicate members trying to sabotage their trip again.

The Spider and the Crawdad

In a moment she's been both longing for and dreading, Gohma finally meets Cookie face-to-face, which ends up going better for her than she ever dared hope. And as a bonus, she may have just found the Syndicate some powerful new allies.

Meanwhile, the party trudges through a marsh.

All Hail Crabcake!

When the party reach Zora City, they discover two things. The first is that it contains a mix of River and Ocean Zora, though noticeably more of the former than the latter. The second is that Plankton is running for mayor. And winning.

The party is split on how to handle this. One half decides to help the other candidate, a River Zora named Melia, with her campaign. The other half goes the chaotic route and submits Crabcake as a new candidate.

Temple of Sea

Another day another dungeon. This time they get a Hookshot and fight an Octorok that's enormous even by DiC world's standards. Melia is declared the Sage of Water and the party gets directed into the Ancient Woods further into the Faron Region, where they will find a sacred tree that can open the way to the Triforce.

They Weren't Lying, Those Woods Be Lost

Both the Party and the Syndicate run afoul of the Ancient Magics protecting the sacred tree. Timmy, Frida and the local Link discover that they have the ability to actually navigate the forest, but not before everybody else ends up separated and hopelessly lost.

Heart of Wood, Heart of Iron

The party finally reaches the deepest part of the woods and meet the Great Deku Tree, who has been waiting to meet Link and Zelda for a long, long time. Unfortunately, before he can help them, he needs some aid in return.

It turns out that the only members of the Syndicate that didn't get horribly lost are Crocker, Metal Timmy and Lokoko, who have been capturing the local fairies so Croker can study them. The Deku Tree is the guardian and home of the fairies of Faron Woods, but given that he's a magic tree there's really only so much he can do against a reality warping robot and a borderline demigoddess. Obviously everybody agrees to help.

Taking Flight

At the end of the last episode, the Great Deku Tree revealed that clearing the temples and awakening the Sages is the key to making the Triforce of Courage reveal itself, which is why the first Great Fairy couldn't just point them to the Tree directly. And as it turns out, the final Temple is high up in his branches.

And also fairy sized.

Yeah, he has to turn them into fairies (except the two that already are, of course) and have them travel through the Forest Fairy Kingdom inside him so they can reach it.

Having Link and Zelda finally be the same size as her is Doing Things to Spryte, lemme tell ya.

Meanwhile, the Syndicate and the Abyss's group formally meet, and Ganon gets some Ideas when he learns of the Dark Arms project.

Temple of Sky

Item is Wind Rod. Boss is a normal sized (and thus comparatively massive) Skulltula. Sage of Wind is Spryte. And at a point in the center of the three temples' locations, a tower rises.

(also there wasn't a Great Fairy in this one because she's the queen of the Forest Fairies instead of living in the temple.

Tower of the Gods

The party, now back to their original forms, book it to the tower in the hopes of reaching it before the Syndicate. They conquer the many puzzles and battles that await them.

...And then when they reach the top, Metal Timmy is waiting for them with the Triforce of Courage already in hand.

Power

The whole episode's a big game of keep-away with the Triforce piece, with Ganon flipping the board near the end by fusing with both his own Triforce of Power and a sample of Black Arms DNA to go from a generic evil wizard to a true embodiment of Power and Malice like all the other Ganons.

Wisdom

The episode where things go horribly wrong and it looks like the bad guys are going to win... at least until the Triforce of Wisdom, back at Hyrule Castle, suddenly shoots towards the battlefield in a beam of golden light and into Zelda.

Courage

...Yeah you see where this is going. Time for DiC Link to finally take his place among the Heroes of Hyrule.

Part 1 Here

More Harbor because he gave me Brain Worms

Born and Raised in Littol Beeg Bluff (yes the same Littol Beeg Bluff from "The Ballad of Dusty Grumpton" in the Factory Reset AU. I'm allowed to re-use my own ideas if I damn well please)

Comes from a blended family, and his stepmom and younger siblings (twin boy and girl around eight) are actually Koopa Troopas of all things.

The only playable Agent to both know and like his parents

Seriously Habor's moms are fucking awesome. Everybody in the NSS loves Harbor's moms

About 80% Humboldt Squid (aka Jumbo Flying Squid), which is why he's so fucking tall. It also means that he's really fast in swim form, to the point that he could probably outswim someone who'd filled all the slots on a piece of gear with Swim Speed Up without any Swim Speed Up investment of his own. (this is inspired by Lucky, another, very different version of Agent 4 made by EikaPrime on Ao3)

Eight

Yes she just goes by Eight. She was a little self-conscious about it at first but then she found out about SMG4 and the other SM64 Blooper Youtubers and no longer gives a shit

If she remembers her old name yet she's not mentioned it

Obviously doesn't remember her parents, but given the Domes are the kind of place where you can Start Training to Become an Advanced Military Hardware Engineer and Elite Soldier at Fucking Nine Years Old, I imagine she wouldn't have many memories of them even without the Amnesia

Contrary to popular fanon, my version of Eight doesn't have a scar from the Test Failed Bomb. This is because Respawn Pads (as long as they're fully functional) completely erase whatever the fatal injury was, leaving no trace apart from maybe some phantom pains if it was particularly nasty

She does, however, have plenty of scars from all the other shit she went through in that hellhole

Managed to complete every single test before she escaped

My version of Eight is a single year younger than Marina canonically is when they meet so I'm not going the Off the Hook Adoption route for this one (maybe in another AU with a more lose interpretation of Canon, but given this AU is specifically meant to adhere to Splatoon Canon as much as possible we're out'a luck this time), though she does still become very close friends with them

She's got Craig literally right there for any potential adoption attempts anyway

Very rarely speaks, but is expressive enough that most people can tell what she means anyway (you know Ferb? It's the exact same thing as what Ferb does)

Doesn't have a weapon preference. She's comfortable with any weapon she gets her hands on

Except Splatanas

She fucking hates Splatanas and everything they stand for

Configuring Frye's Palette in the Memverse was legitimately harder than dealing with her own Palette's stupid "Hacks or Chips, you can't have both" Gimmick Bullshit

Andi Finn

Has no fucking idea who her parents were and does not care

Actual supergenius who could probably build a functioning replica of Grizz's rocket out of scrap metal from just her memory of fighting on top of it. Never learned how to read before the NSS got ahold of her because she lived alone in the desert

Swears more than Bob

Can't remember where she learned Salmonid from

Somehow even the homeless kid has better hygiene than Paige

Made up her last name on the spot when she was signing up for a Turfing License (if you're wondering how she managed to sign up for a Turfing License when she couldn't read; With Great Difficulty)

Figures she probably isn't a full Inkling given her weird beartrap beak but doesn't give enough of a shit to take a DNA test about it

Yet

Paige dragged her home to their apartment almost immediately after the final battle against Mr. Grizz and she never left. It's not an official adoption but that's only because Paige is a bit oblivious to their own feelings on the matter and Andi doesn't know that paperwork is supposed to be involved

Almost exclusively calls Paige "Cap" even when they're out of uniform. I mean, she can't very well call them "Mom" or "Dad" since they're nonbinary, now can she? Paige has no idea that's what she means by it and just thinks it's a nickname because Andi gives everybody nicknames. Usually as insults

It took her 333 tries to get through "Splitting Crosshairs" (I legitimately Cannot beat that stupid kettle no matter how hard I try and want her to share my frustration but also want all four agents to have 100%ed their respective adventures so I'm just having it take her a comically long time to do)

Mains Explosher because it's the closest she can get to a Turf-Legal grenade launcher (for now...)

The Eternal Hunger, Devourer of the Bear

Is fine with people using Crabcake instead

Uses It/Its exclusively

Officially designated Agent 5 I will die on that hill

Was "The Eternal Hunger, Stabber of Ankles" before going through Return of the Mammalians

Will stab anyone who points out that it didn't actually eat Mr. Gizz, he just exploded

Extremely eloquent, but most people can't speak Salmonid so it just sounds like it's making the same gurgley noises as every other Smallfry

Once looked Marie dead in the eyes and said "No one will ever believe you" in perfect Inklish while they were alone. Has never said anything else in anything other than Salmonid where someone can hear it

Andi and Crabcake fucking hated each-other for the first third of their adventure before bonding over kicking Frye's ass and now they're inseparable

Actually gets its own uniform after everything's said and done. It consists of a little high-rez safety vest (like the one on Paige's field uniform), an earpiece (suction-cupped in place since it doesn't have external ears) in the same style as Andi's headset, and a clean black-with-thin-yellow-racing-stripes-on-the-sides pants...wrap...thing

It also got a new switchblade from Sheldon (the old one got lost in the space battle after it turned into Hugefry) with the same kind of black-with-blue-LEDs aesthetic as Paige's gear and a blade made of Sardinium

Also thinks that it and Andi are already adopted by Paige but that's for Salmonid Culture Reasons instead of Not Having an Education Reasons

Got separated from its swarm during a Run a few months before Return of the Mammalians. It wasn't too fussed about it and figured it could handle itself in the desert for a while and then either reunite with that swarm if it ran into them or join a new one if it happened to come across one. Because Salmonid Culture

here's an explanation on how exactly Meggy got fucked over by the universe 3 times

note: The following events replace the anime arc because everyone was to busy searching for Meggy that the anime challenge never happened

Meggy was kidnapped by a group of octarians (who were ordered to do so because DJ Octavia discovered Agent 3 had a sister and had a big brained idea to not only brainwash Callie but also her as well) and got brainwashed by a second pair of hypnoshades that Octavia made (though she didn't quite go down without a fight, Octavia can attest to that)

Agent 3 (Paige) was too busy on a separate mission to go looking for Meggy much to their frustration so Marie recruiting Harbor as Agent 4 came in clutch and also Mario coming along because of course he does which both makes things easier but also more complicated

However during the final battle around the time Marie and Sheldon came barging in the platform Meggy was on ended up collapsing and she fell into the abyss below much to Mario's and everyone else's horror

Fast forward a couple weeks and after hundreds of dead ends and countless sleepless nights, the NSS were finally able to find a lead to where Meggy ended up (and also got confirmation that she still lives thank god, Paige cried a lot at the news out of relief) and so Cuttlefish and Agent 3 are off without hesitation to search for Agent 3's sister in the Metro

Meanwhile Meggy has been Sanitised by Commander Tartar who found her unconscious in the subway, and is currently accompanying Cuttlefish, 8, Desti and The Octoposse who are all stuck in this medical nightmare hell hole because of course and all (well except cuttlefish) of them are missing their memories

Cuttlefish is really worried how 3 will react to their sister being well, green now and zombie like

However despite being sanitised, partially emotionless and amnesiac she is still technically Meggy so sparks still fly between her and Desti much to the others chagrin

At least it makes solving the puzzles easier (especially the 8 ball thank GOD)

The plot of octo expansion stays relatively the same albeit with more people and a more chaotic group chat

They all end up having to team up against a partially sanitised Paige who is somehow stronger than in canon which is terrifying, and it took everything to knock them out

When the boss fight with the giant statue and Tartar happens (who wants to blow up the world because it's gone insane and so has he from the meme energy) Meggy, Desti and the Octoposse jump in the assist 8 in inking the statue to high heaven

Sanitised Meggy is basically a watered down version of canon Meggy having her emotions and memories stripped from her, she still has the desire to win splatfest ofc but she doesn't quite have the drive that made her want her to, and this deeply scares Paige and Mario

A couple years have passed since the incident and Meggy is MOSTLY back to her old self, still a bit amnesiac and lacks the reaction speed for certain emotions but better now

Then she gets fuzzified by Mr. Grizz

Meggy started to work at Grizzco. Via the suggestion of Harbor because she felt self conscious about how she looks during turf wars now cause well she looks like a zombie and it went pretty well for about 3 years

Harbor did a total fuck up and Meggy not wanting him to get fired ended up taking the fall for him

unfortunately this ended up with Mr. Grizz fucking up her back a bit, kidnapping her and then getting fuzzified which FINE

and somewhere during that struggle Meggy ends up in the Splatlands an FAR from Grizzco. and ends up running into Andi and being found thankfully by Cuttlefish

unfortunately they all soon end up falling into Alterna but hey at least she reunited with the others!