#ammonomicon

My boyfriend has really fallen in love with this game I got him on Steam and he's turned it into a campaign. Initially, I played it by myself for the first level of the Gungeon. I had to make a character with a reason to want to kill her past, which ended up being that she's a farm girl who killed a train full of people when doing poorly fixing up a train track maintenance job. Upon entering the Gungeon, I'm armed with my pitchfork which I stab at everything like a child who has to touch everything (such as stabbing the mysterious portal that appeared in the middle of a corn field which sucked me in and brought me to the Gungeon in the first place). I do this in the Hall of Knowledge where a book comes to life and my pitchfork turns into a fiery Satan fork that allows me to burn at least half the library. Enter the tutorial guy, Ser Manuel.

Manny: "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! MAH BOOKS! WHY HAVE YOU BURNED MAH BOOKS!?"

Vera: -pointing at the charred remains with her firefork- "The books started it."

DM: "Manny looks at the pitchfork in your hand and knows you're full of it."

Manny: "DON'T. DISTURB. THE. BOOKS."

Vera: "..." -kicks the bookcase while maintaining eye contact as she now officially hates this man-

He  ends up kicking Vera out early before teaching her everything she needs to know to survive in the Gungeon. Lucky for her, she not only beats the first level alone but takes no damage whatsoever in her first boss fight. While wandering around down in the Gungeon, she finds a statue with a description plate that is oddly blank.

DM: "The statue looks like a shrine to you. What do you wish to do?"

Me: "The inscription isn't there?"

DM: "No..."

Me: "Can I carve something into the plate?"

DM: "...sure."

Vera: -carves MANNY SUCKS into the plate-

DM: "...congratulations. You have successfully carved MANNY SUCKS into this shrine. Nothing else happens." -sighs heavily- "What the hell is that Tumblr page? I need to tell them of this nonsense."

While down in the Gungeon, I pick up a glass eye that apparently once belonged to Manny prior to having his brains blown out. LUCKY FOR ME I end up with the chance to rub this in Manny's face. The second level of the Gungeon I am joined by a friend of mine who agreed to play with us. So I get rocketed upwards in the elevator rather than down because a man named Taylor is performing maintenance on the elevator for a moment in order for me to meet my friend's character. My friend goes to meet Manuel and since I have nothing to do, I follow behind and anger Manuel who snaps his fingers and sends me back to the start of the Gungeon so he doesn't have to deal with me. Before my friend can even get his Ammonomicon I run back down to the Hall of Knowledge screaming at the top of my lungs.

Vera: -holding the glass eye high into the air so that Manny can't miss seeing it- "DID YOU LOSE SOMETHING!? I FOUND SOMETHING! DID YOU LOSE SOMETHING?! BECAUSE I FOUND SOMETHING!!!"

Manny: -ghost face contorted now in rage and uncaring about my friend in the room- "THAT'S....YOU..." -snaps his fingers-

Its what i deserve for living this human life. love being tall

deerbait 😍😍😵👽