#amfexa

- My insomnia is twice as bad, I only got 3 hours' sleep

- I feel very happy! Yay

- I'm productive as FUCK 😎 Finally tidied up some things that had been lying around the house for months, am on top of all household chores etc.

It's looking good so far, minus the insomnia obviously. When I first started taking ritalin I had the same side effect and it went away after a few nights.

This morning I've been hella adulting. I'm actually proud of myself lolol.

* It improves your ability to focus on tasks you've been avoiding

* It improves your ability to focus on tasks in order to keep avoiding said tasks

It's now 2 am and I had to get out of bed because I kept startling awake feeling very sick. I'm getting heart palpitations, my heart rate is sky high and trying to go back to sleep is pointless because my chest is horribly uncomfortable.

I actually felt good about these meds until tonight. I was cheerful, my memory improved tenfold, and I was able to... PLAN STUFF. Mind blowing. They're extremely helpful with my eating disorder too, since I had no appetite at all (food addiction, my psychologist's official diagnosis is bulimia).

I'm so uninterested in food and bingeing and it feels liberating. Nothing else could ever get me to stop, not even the nausea I had when I was on ritalin. That may not sound too shocking, except I have EMETOPHOBIA!

I made two of them! Since it's called the Angel Wisp Shawl, I had to make one with angelwings attached ^_^ I think it turned out really cute!

Also trying out Amfexa today. To be honest, I don't think it's really working... I'm functioning as well as I would on a good day without meds. That means I'm getting things done, but once I finish a task, it takes a while to switch over to the next. I'm also easily distracted, and constantly bombarded by my own impulses, and as a consequence, constantly have to consider if it would be wise to act on them. Yeah, that's just me without meds on a good day.

I googled some reviews. They scare the shit out of me. There were two good ones. One simply said she was content with the effect of Amfexa, the other said she previously used a generic, and Amfexa seems to be an improvement. But there's a massive amount of bad reviews. At best, people report not noticing any effect and they feel ripped off. At worst, people report having depressions, (yes, multiple), aggressive moods and lashing out to loved ones, heart palpitations, high blood pressure, suicidal thoughts, trouble sleeping, anxiety... The list goes on. Many want to go back to the generic, but their apothecary won't let them. There's also people saying they were doing great the first month, but after that month everything went downhill.

So.

I didn't take my recommended dose today though. That might be why I hardly see any effect. Sometimes I take less because I feel like I don't need as much, and today this was also the case. But I'm also a bit reluctant to mix a generic with Amfexa, which is what they instructed me to do. I actually have to take 7.5 mg. Amfexa comes in pills of 5,which can be broken into four pieces. The generics come in pills of 2.5. So they think it would do to just take an Amfexa with a generic, and get my dose that way.

Now I think they might be wrong about that. While it is said that it's all the same stuff, the helping agents of these pills can be of massive influence. So that's why I don't want to mix. But I want to give it all a proper go. Today I'm just taking one Amfexa twice (just had my second one). Tomorrow, maybe the day after, I'm taking Amfexa and break one, so I don't have to mix, see if my recommended dose has more effect. Next, I'll mix the pills, just to see if that will be different as well. And I'll have to check how I feel after a month.

So when I'm done with this batch, I'll make a decision. Either I conclude the meds work for me and I'll keep taking them, or they don't and I'll stop taking them.

There is a natural alternative I might try if I decide to stop. It's not an actual drug, but a supplement. It's called LTO3, and it's based on fish oil and calming herbs. But I'll write more about that if it gets to that.