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how do people with audhd get through college?
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Ooh I just realised ever since I started my ADHD meds I haven't felt the urge to constantly chew gum or eat sweets which I used to do constantly when I felt understimulated or stressed 🤔
So I’ve got good news and bad news about my adhd meds.
good news: the adhd meds did not change my personality. my secret fear that I would lose my sparkle because all my personality traits were just adhd symptoms was completely unnecessary!
bad news: this is my personality
Atomoxetine
“picture taken of an atomoxetine (Strattera®) 60 mg capsule.” - via Wikimedia Commons
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since this is The ADHD Website i may as well keep a log here
took my first dose of adhd meds an hour ago and BOY things are happening. shall list.
first thing i noticed was that i was only having one thought at a time. which was fucking bonkers bc for 27 years straight i've had At Least 5 thoughts simultaneously with the same 3 lines of a random song playing over and over again as a soundtrack. constantly. I ONLY HAVE ONE THOUGHT. insanity. the Thought (which changes depending on what im doing) is still very much There and i can see myself getting lost in the singular Thought but this is an almost instantaneous improvement
already staring off into space and daydreaming less, which is very promising. i just hope that holds.
i feel jittery but not in an anxious way, which for someone with lifelong chronic anxiety is slightly insane. jittery in sort of a I Have Energy And Don't Know What To Do With It Way
its WAY easier to just. think. before meds i would have had to concentrate waaay harder on writing this. i would be losing words all the time and not knowing what to write next.
i think my heart would be pounding if i wasn't taking propanolol for my anxiety twice a day. i feel like my heart should be pounding.
think thats it for now?? shall try and do some exercise after lunch and then try and write some fic. which will be the ultimate test. the meds last 8 hours and i'm intrested to see what it will be like while its wearing off.
Adhd medicine is weird. It helps with everything related to chemical deficiencies in the brain but my brain is still built different so medicine does nothing to the characteristics of my personality that has to do with my brain structure. I still get hyperfixated, I am still forgetful af and have trouble with intoception, I'm clumsy and so on. Like we patched the dopamine issues in the software but to fix the rest we would actually have to replace the hardware so good luck with that. Reminds you of how little you are in control, my consciousness comes from the organ inside my skull and if it's parts aren't arranged in an optimal way there's nothing I can do about it. I am a product of my prenatal development which I had no say in.
