#ambsrants

boyfriend who doesnt mind my random emotional moments at night, he just stays patient 'n soothes me.. Cradling my face 'n murmuring love into my skin while wiping my tears. he doesnt mock me or ridicule me for "crying over nothing" he just takes care of me.

"i love inexperienced guys" okay. so you wont mock me when that i get too nervous to even look at you? or i might pull away from yer hand trying to hold mine? not because that i dont wanna.. but im not used to it so just give it a gentle squeeze please? will you be nice to me when that i get worked up 'n anxious at the mere thought of us kissing because ive never even done that wit anyone before? will you tell me that its okay if that i take way longer than the average person to do "simple" things like making out or cuddling because im just that new to it all and need you to be patient? will you be patient? with me, please?

boyfriend who lies on top of me wit his full bodyweight whenever that i ask because the deep pressure helps me through whatevers wrong, especially when that his scent comforts me.

i just want a boy to hold me.

Date night but its just you cradling me like a puppy while that i cry in yer arms because im so sleepy until that i pass out against yer warm chest.

easily stressed crybaby puppyboy bf who never goes anywhere without his composed organised gentle bf wit him to cling to 'n let him turn his brain off while that he handles everything.

is it a valid fear to wonder if that ill ever really find the guy i post for? that i post about? will i ever find the guy who'll make my chest ache just thinking of him? who'll make me feel safer in his arms than in the supposed comfort of my own skin? will i find the one guy who'll take up all of my thoughts and feelings and soul? will he find me? will he be happy to end his search wit me as the treasure? will he?

bf who listens to my side of things instead of blindly believing others and supports me and helps cheer me up and uhhh idk kisses me to fill my brain wit fuzziness instead of sadness when.