#amalgam!verse

White light flooded Kitty’s vision as her body seized and came.  Her muscles tensed, her inner walls clamping down on the cock thrusting inside her while her limbs pulled her lover as close as possible.  As the waves of pleasure died down, her eyes closed and her muscles went limp.  Her right slipped away from the scratches she’d made down her partner’s back and in her left something papery crinkled. 

Her hips shifted and she realized that the older man was still hard inside her.  Odd, Ryder usually was on a hair trigger and rarely lasted longer than she did, sometimes coming before her.  He made up for it by having an insanely fast recovery time.  Either he was learning to restrain himself or he’d come back up while she was still recovering.  “You don’t have to hold back for me,” she breathed.

A short pause, then wild laughter filled the air.  Familiar laughter.

Kitty’s eyes popped open.  The familiar features of Kurt Ryder loomed over her.  Or were they?  Even as she watched, blue eyes changed to yellow between one blink and another, and as his lips spread in an insane grin she saw his teeth elongate and sharpen.  His skin was still pale but was beginning to turn sallow and greenish.  Even his hair, normally loose black curls, was turning a verdant shade.    He leaned down to peck her on the nose.  “Uberraschung!”

For a brief moment, she froze in panic.  When she’d agreed to start dating Ryder, she hadn’t expected to bring Nightcreeper into the equation!  But after a few seconds, she forced her muscles to unwind.  This wasn’t Department K.  If things got out of hand, she could phase through the bed and the floor and call Logan or Jubilee to pick her up.  And she didn’t really object to the idea of sleeping with Nightcreeper.  She’d turned him down when he’d asked her, but only because she had already said yes to Ryder.  This would, perhaps, be her only chance to indulge her curiosity over the path not taken.

As if waiting for a signal, Nightcreeper slipped his arm behind her back and pulled her up as soon as she relaxed.  The sudden change in position surprised her, causing her to wrap her legs around his waist and dig her nails into his shoulder to keep her balance.  That drove his cock even deeper into her body and brought her front up against his chest.  From there, she could feel smooth skin be replaced by velvety fur.  The change in texture stimulated her nipples and her clit and she found herself gasping in arousal again. 

She saw his mouth open to let out those bone-breaking chortles again.  “Shut up!”  She grabbed the back of his head and pulled him down, slamming her lips over his own to swallow the manic roars that characterized the vigilante.  Kitty had no idea how Kurt had managed to conceal his identity from his neighbors but she wasn’t going to be the reason he had to change locations.

Despite that, she could feel the rumble of amusement in his chest, but he didn’t fight her, instead adjusting her legs so that she was kneeling over his own.  He gripped her hips and set up a fast pace, the movement rubbing her nipples and clit into the green fur that spontaneously grew.  So distracted by the sensation, she barely noticed something else joining in until she felt it poking another lower orifice.

She froze up again.  She and Ryder had tried pegging before and while she hadn’t hated it, it hadn’t done much for her either.  Still, Kitty couldn’t know what the differences between Kurt and Nightcreeper were.  So she took a deep breath, tensed and then relaxed, allowing...  it must have been his tail to slip into her other opening.  For all his mania, he was actually pretty careful, slowing down his thrusts and slowly pushing in, allowing her to adjust.  Sharp teeth pricked her neck in distraction, and he only started thrusting in earnest once she had relaxed again.

The sensation was actually quite different and left her moaning.  With both her holes filled, there was a feeling of pressure and fullness that had been missing in her prior experience.  The fur rubbed against her nipples and clit, sending electricity throughout her body.  She found herself clinging to her lover, her thighs squeezing him closer and her nails digging into invulnerable flesh.  “You like that, do you?”  Kitty bit down on Nightcreeper’s lower lip to silence the madman, and yanked on his shoulder-length hair, smothering the peals of laughter that threatened to disturb the neighbors and break her eardrums.

The additional stimulation had her coming even faster than her first orgasm.  As her cunt seized around her lover, she felt Nightcreeper swell, then flood her cervix.  Kitty spent a few minutes trying to get her breath back after the rush.  Then she felt more than heard Nightcreeper chuckle.  “Aw, did I tire you out too much, liebchen?”

The blonde lifted her head to glare at him.  The transformation was complete, the man’s eyes as gold as old coins, his ears and fangs needle-sharp and covered with green fur the same shade as new grass.  Based on the giggling, her bedroom eyes probably didn’t do much to improve the intimidation factor.  Exasperated, she dropped her hands from his hair to his neck and tried to strangle him.  Not that it made any difference, he just laughed louder.  “I’m not finished yet.”

“Hihihi!  Maybe this time you’ll manage to last the night!” 

She didn’t.

------

Kitty woke up with her head cradled on someone’s lap.  Opening her eyes, she saw Kurt, back to his baseline human form, softly stroking her hair while he read something on his tablet.  She was sure she hadn’t made any sound to alert him, but after a few minutes he looked down at her, not at all surprised she was awake.  “Hey.”

“Hey,” he whispered back.

She cleared her throat.  “I don’t suppose you could have told me you were part of the tights-and-spandex club before we started dating?”

Pale cheeks flushed red, easily seen above the black shirt he was wearing.  “That would be easier if Nightcreeper was wearing at least that much.”  Blue eyes drifted away from hers.  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I was . . . embarrassed?  It’s one thing to admit you go out and stop crime as a vigilante in your free time.  It’s quite another to say that your alter ego all but strips naked and is one of the people on watch lists for his insanity.”

“I feel like an idiot.  I know you’re friends with Dark Claw and I even knew that you knew Logan’s, Jubilee’s and my civilian identities.  It never occurred to me that there might be another reason Logan trusted you with that information.”

“Yes, well, Dark Claw was right there when the change first happened.”  When it was clear she wasn’t pulling away, he resumed stroking her hair and put down the tablet.  “He’s also the one who makes the counteragent that keeps me stable and not laughing like a loon all the time.”

“That explains how he knows who you are.  But how did you find out about his secret identity?”

He shook his head to dismiss the question, causing his loose dark hair to fall over his shoulders and face.  “Nothing special about that, it’s just good investigative skills.”

They spent a few more minutes in silence.  But there was one question that had been nagging her that refused to be ignored any further.  “What happened last night?  You seemed fine and then suddenly you were green and fuzzy.  What triggered the transformation?”

He coughed then held his hand out to her.  In it was one of the nicotine patches he used.  “What?”

“You probably don’t remember, but you pulled that off during the first round last night.”

“This is the counteragent?”  Kurt nodded.  “Am I going to get sick?”

He snorted, “No, you’ll be fine.  That stuff is completely harmless to normal people.”

“I hadn’t realized that Dark Claw was so skilled at biochemistry.”

“His Little Lord Faulteroy act is incredibly effective.  He goes around like an airheaded bimbo.”  

She laughed a bit at that.  “Logan’s a bit too short to qualify as a bimbo.”  She pulled herself up to lean on his chest.  She raised one hand to toy with the loose ends of his dark hair.  “I haven’t forgiven you yet, but I will eventually.  In the meantime, could you tell me how you became Nightcreeper.”

“My eyes are up here, Vera,”  Kurt said dryly. 

“Sorry about your shirt, kraut,” said Vera, not sounding sorry at all.  “Oh, and it was coffee all over your white formal too.  Should I go tell Remi that he’s going to have to lend you another shirt for tonight’s show?”

He shook his head as he loosened the cuffs and unbuttoned the front.  “It’s fine.  I’ve got a spare in my office, I’ll just change into that.  But if this happens again, I’m going to make you pay for the replacement, Sweet.”

“Hey, my show’s doing really well now.  I could afford it easily now.”  The blonde tossed one last zinger over her shoulder.  “Better watch your back, Ryder.  I’m going to pass your viewer numbers any day now.”

“In your dreams.”  Kurt watched her leave, then turned to his companion.  “So let me guess, you’re going to say Sweet was eyeing me too?”

Kitty just smiled.  “No need, you already know she was.”

“The coffee was kind of obvious.  There was nothing there for her to trip on and the liquid wasn’t even steaming.  This stuff’s bad enough when warm, it’s undrinkable even for us when cold.”  He finished taking his shirt off and walked through the halls, cutting a swath for the younger woman to easily follow in his wake.

By the time they got to his office, she was giggling softly.  “You are such a show-off.”

“Cold coffee not only tastes disgusting but it feels disgusting too.  Besides I can’t help where people direct their eyes.”  The slight tilt of her smile showed that she didn’t believe one word he said.  Fair enough, he did like showing off when given the opportunity.  “I’ll stop if you want me to.”

“It’s fine.”

“You won’t get jealous?”

“I trust you.  Besides,” she reached over.  With him standing and her sitting, she was too short to reach his face but she could definitely reach other things.  “They all might get to look but only I get to touch.”

He pretty much melted at the point.  “You’re the only one I want touching me.”

“Your Twitter’s going to give someone a complex,” noted Kitty.

“Really?”  Kurt looked over his most recent Tweets.  “They’re not that sarcastic.  Remington is worse with his.”

“Not the snark.  I meant the clown comparisons.”

“They’re not specifically about clowns, they’re just things that remind me of the circus.”

His girlfriend put down her tablet.  “You didn’t happen to be a clown when you worked in that circus during your childhood?”

“Would it matter?”

“I’ve got coulrophobia.  If you were a clown, well, I may just have to break up with you.”

“Ouch!”  Kurt leaned over and easily swept her into his lap.  “Well, it was a small circus, so everyone did a little of everything.  But no, I was an acrobat and an escapologist.  So no need for you to worry.”

She cuddled closer to him.  “That’s good.  I have enough nightmares, I don’t need any more added.”

“I am so sorry about this!”

“Gotta dance!”

“Jubilee, when you told me you were going to hire a stripper for my birthday, this is not what I expected.”

“I don’t know how he even got here!”

In the center of the Misfits’ living room, the Nightcreeper casually tossed his boa over to Koriand’ru.  Her dark skin prevented the others from seeing her blush but the wide smile on her face showed just how much she appreciated the show.  Rahne, on the other hand, shrieked and covered her eyes.  Not that she had much reason to, between the collar, cuffs, and the pants Nightcreeper was actually wearing more than he usually did.  And he looked good.  The black actually went well with the green fur and the skin-tight black did a good job emphasizing all the muscles that were usually covered with a fine layer of green fuzz.  He slipped off the cuffs and collar and did a few pelvic thrusts in time to the music.

“If you’re blue and you don’t-”  Kitty reached up and covered his mouth with her hand.  It was too bad Nightcreeper’s voice wasn’t as good as his looks but no one was perfect.  “Eugh!” she drew back after he licked her palm.

The insanity was definitely another flaw.

He drew another breath to continue the song and the newly of-age Misfit took the opportunity to head him off at the pass.  “Hey, ‘creeper, perhaps you could give me a private dance instead?  Then I could touch you for real.”

“As you wish!”  With that, the tall man lifted her easily and swept out of the den towards Kitty’s private room.  The other three Misfits just continued to stare in shock for a few seconds.  Rahne finally broke the silence.  “Does she . . . should one of us rescue Kitty?”

Jubilee dismissed her worry.  “Kitty can handle him easily.  More important question: what happened to the guy I actually hired?”

As Ryder slammed the ink cartridges back into the printer then picked it up to place back on the table, the other reporters and journalists applauded.  “Thank you, thank you!”  He gave a deep theatrical bow to his audience.  “But seriously, why do we have an industrial printer that only can be unjammed and the cartridges replaced from the back?  Or at least a smaller printer so that the back could be more accessible?”

“Because our boss is stingy as hell and doesn’t want to spring for a newer model,” said Vera dryly.

“Still, I’m impressed,” noted Remington Cord.  “I can’t move that printer when something goes wrong.  It must weigh over a hundred pounds.”

“Just under it, I think.”  Several people lined up to start making copies and scan stuff in.  The German immigrant moved off to the side and gratefully drank the paper cup of water his junior handed to him.  “I’m so tempted to toss that thing out the window whenever this happens.”

“Please don’t!  Until IT returns our other one this is the only one we have.  The department will grind to a halt if we don’t have a working printer.”

“Point for your side.”

“Still, what I said earlier stands.  How on earth did you get that strong?  You make heavy office equipment look like it’s filled with feathers and not electronics and machinery.”

“It’s not that easy.  But do you want to know a secret?”  The younger man nodded eagerly.  “You know how I nearly got to the Olympics on the fencing team?  Well, in addition to fencing, I was also a pretty good acrobat in akademie and college.  Not as good as fencing but much better than the average person.”

“I don’t get it.  So that makes you very flexible but-”

“Remi, if I can hold up my entire body weight while balancing on one hand on a chair, hauling that printer around is easy.  I weigh a lot more than that printer, after all.”

“Oooh, that does make sense.”

“You’ll never guess what showed up today while I was testing the new plagiarism algorithm for the update.”

“Oh?”  Kurt pressed down hard on the ball of her thumb and Kitty sighed and melted onto the bed.  Sometimes she wished thought about giving up being a Misfit and moving back to New Gotham.  But after being imprisoned by Department K then bossed around by the Hyena, she wasn’t ready to give up her independence yet.  She knew Kurt also had his concerns about leaving Gotham and moving to Jump City.  In a few years.  Maybe after Martenitsi makes her majority, I’ll consider moving here.  “Yeah, picked up a kid pretty much taking one of your articles wholesale.  The one about the relationship between alcohol and special effects in movies.”

“I don’t remember- wait.  Was that the one I wrote while I was drunk?  It was completely incoherent and I called Michael Bay a ridiculous wannabe who should stick to explosions and not bother to try directing movies because he couldn’t plot his way out of a paper bag?”

“The one your boss actually made you issue a public apology for even though it never got printed.”

“How’d he even-”

“You’ve got it up on your blog, remember?  Idiot lifted it wholesale, grammar mistakes and all.  I had to double check during the demo, it seemed so unlikely.”

Ryder facepalmed, then buried his face in her stomach.  “That article was so wonky, I think I’m more embarrassed for that student than offended.”

The doorbell rang and Kurt pulled away from Kitty with a groan.  “Something wrong?” she asked.

“Just my next door neighbor.  She always seems to know when I’ve had a bad day and she brings over pie.  But every time, she catches me in the shower.”

“Hmm.  Do you want to just ignore her?”

“Nah, she’s really nice.  Just has a terrible sense of timing.”  The two of them got out and Kurt grabbed a towel then ran to the door while Kitty searched the bedroom for her robe.

The older woman really was just as nice as Kurt had said, and Kitty loved the cherry pie she brought over.  It was also the first time Kurt had introduced her as his girlfriend to anyone and the woman was really supportive and wanted to know all about Kitty.  They could only give her the edited version of her past but even then she was compassionate and didn’t push the blonde’s boundaries.

When she left, it was with a promise that Kitty would knock on her door the next time she visited.  Although, apparently there was one thing Kurt hadn’t noticed.  “She totally came over to ogle you, you know that?”

He looked down at her.  “How on earth-”

“She kept staring at your chest the whole time she was here.”

“Huh, I wonder how she knew I was in the shower though?”

“Probably the plumbing.  I can hear Piotr singing whenever I’m in my bathroom at the same time.”

“Well, I guess I can’t blame her.  I am very handsome and muscular after all.”

“Show-off,” teased Kitty.  “She was probably wondering what a stud like you was doing with a plain Jane like me.”

That made the smile drop off of his face.  “You’re not, you know.”

“Not what?”

“Plain.  You’ve got golden highlights in your hair, huge blue eyes and very soft, rounded features.”

“And a flat chest.”

“I’m not going to lie and say you could have been a model.  For one thing, you’re way too short for that.  But you’ve got this strange misconception that you look average or barely above that.”

“I guess . . .”  She ducked her head down to stare at the table.

“You don’t seem to believe me.”

“I’m not blind, Kurt.  I’ve met Kokoro and some of the other women you’ve dated over the years.  I look nothing like those women, with their movie-star good looks and hourglass figures.”

“Hmm, that’s true.  But you know something else all those women have in common?  Not a single one of them would have stayed if they knew about Nightcreeper.”  He paused for a second.  “Except for Kokoro, who left because of Ryder and Kantique.  But my point is, I was choosing most of my partners because of their looks.  Maybe I finally grew up enough to realize those weren’t everything.”

“So what’s your point?  That I should be happy that your settling for someone like me?”

“No.  My point is that I’m not going to run away and abandon you just because another pretty face joins the JLX or shoves her cleavage in my face on TV.  I love you, Kitty.  I’m not saying that it’s forever because we can’t predict these things.  But you don’t have to compare yourself to the people I chased before because that’s not the reason I’m with you now.”

Kitty finally looked up again.  “I’m going to try to believe you.”

“That’s all I ask.”

“I don’t like the new guy’s outfit.  He’s fighting crime in a football jersey!”

Every member of the JLX turned to stare at Nightcreeper.  Finally, Dark Claw took it upon himself to break the silence.  “You are absolutely the last person to be criticizing anyone else’s outfit!”

“I am never contacting Nightcreeper again,” said Mr. X, wincing and rubbing his forehead.

“What’s wrong?” asked Apollo.

“Trying to enter his mind when he’s in that form is like . . . “ the alien had to think for a second to come up with a metaphor the Earthling would understand.  “Riding a rollercoaster while intoxicated and fireworks go off right next to you.”

“That sounds terrible,” the energy projector grimaced.

“If I’d stayed any longer, I probably would have thrown up and I’m not sure I actually have that reflex.”  The green man reached for some cookies to ease the headache.  “It’s fine when I have to contact him in his civilian form but this may prove an issue.”

There was a long pause in the conversation.  “The Nightcreeper has a civilian form?”  Apollo grimaced as if he couldn’t imagine it.

“Yes, although I can’t tell you who he is.  That’s need-to-know-only information after all.”

“Yeah, I understand.”  The younger man sat back and thought for a while.  “Maybe we could pair him up with someone?  That way you could just contact that person and he or she could relay the information to Nightcreeper.”

The alien nodded.  “An excellent idea, but who?  The only people willing to work with him are the New Gothamites, and we usually call on him because Dark Claw and Sparrow aren’t available in the first place.”

“Isn’t he with the Newblood team?  Shouldn’t they already be partnered up?”

“He is but they don’t like working with him either.”  The two put more thought into the issue.

“What about Colombina?”  The younger man finally came up with a suggestion.  “You’ve been in her mind before and it was fine, right?”

“I wouldn’t say she’s fine but her mind is tolerable, yes.”

“Not a lot of people are willing to pair up with her either.  But there’s no way we’re letting her go out on her own.  And she lives in New Gotham too.”

“That does seem to be a good choice.  I’ll bring it up with Dark Claw the next time I see him.”

Linda sighed and unlocked the door to her apartment.  What was that quote?  “The best-laid plans of mice and men, often go awry.”  Yes, that was it.  And life had just done that to her.  It’s not like she had meant to get hit by that bus.  She was lucky it had just cracked some ribs.  Her doctor said she wasn’t going to be able to be back at work this week but fortunately she had some vacation time accrued.

She stopped and stared.  There on the kitchen island was a vase of freshly cut star lilies, her favorites.  She looked around more carefully.  Her plants were watered.  Her goldfish was fed.  There was a cat she’d never seen before lounging in her bed.  She even checked her fridge and the milk and eggs that had been about to expire had been thrown out and replaced!

Severely creeped out, she turned back to the vase of flowers.  Underneath the vase was a note.  Inside there was the strangest letter she’d ever received.

Hello Linda!

I used to hear you every Friday while patrolling the city but you weren’t here this weekend.  So I took the liberty of watering your plants, throwing out your trash and feeding your goldfish and cat.  I’ll check again on Tuesday to see if you’ve come back.  Hope you recover well from your accident.

Nightcreeper

Nightcreeper?  What on earth?  The guy was real?

A chill ran down her spine.  She’d been yelling at the walls every Friday as a form of stress relief.  As a joke, she’d been addressing her rants to Nightcreeper.  The guy was supposed to be able to hear everything in the city, right?  Except he wasn’t supposed to exist, he was just one of those neo cryptids that came from urban legends, like Bloody Mary.

But someone had broken into her apartment.  Someone who knew about her plants and her goldfish and her accident and her favorite flowers.  Someone who passed by close enough every Friday to hear her rants.

Linda stared at the flowers.  Should she throw them out?  Would it even be safe to do that?  Or would Nightcreeper get offended?  Should she call the police?  She decided to err on the side of caution.  “Thank you, Nightcreeper,” she called out.  She wasn’t sure if he counted as a stalker or if he had been trying to be helpful.  Linda would also call the police as soon as she’d taken a shower.

“American beer is so tasteless.  Isn’t there anything else I could drink?”

“I told you, Ryder.  Just skip the beer and drink the whisky instead.  Their lagers suck but their bourbon’s not bad.”  

“I don’t want whisky.  One of us is going to have to pay bail after you tear up the bar and I’ll be too drunk to do that if I’m drinking whisky all night.”

Logan shrugged.  “Suit yourself.  I intend to enjoy my evening.”  He skulled his drink, then waved to attract the bartender’s attention.  “Two more and a Shirley Temple for my friend here.”

Kurt glared at him.  “A Shirley Temple?  Really?”

“Man, if you don’t want to be DD for the night, you’re gonna have to up your game from American beer.”

“We walked here.  Neither of us needs to be concerned about staying sober.”

“Hey, aren’t you that reporter from TV?”

Kurt looked up.  The woman who had approached him was blonde, blue-eyed and very busty.  He straightened up and smiled at her.  “As a matter of fact, I am.  From You’re WRONG!  Unless you were thinking of some other handsome, blue-eyed reporter from New Gotham?”

She beamed at him.  “I knew I’d seen you before!  Bartender, could you take a picture of us together?  My friends’ll be so jealous!”  A bored Cardinal leaned over the bar to take the camera and framed the two of them in front of the giant fountain.  After passing it back, the blonde resumed the conversation.  “So what’s a celebrity like you doing here?”

“This is the hottest nightclub in New Gotham.  And I just finished an interview and was jotting down my note while it was still fresh in my mind.”

“Really, so you’re done with work now?”  She leaned over to give him a look straight down her cleavage, toying with one yellow curl to ensure his attention was in the right spot.  Kurt appreciated the view.

“A few more minutes.  Just long enough for someone to powder their nose.”

“Well, I think I need a quick trip to the powder room.  But don’t go away.  I feel we’ve got a lot to ‘talk’ about.”

“Oh, I won’t.”  He blatantly watched her as he sashayed out of the room.  Once she was gone (and his notes were recorded and stowed, he was a professional after all), he took out a small canister of breath spray and gave himself a double spritz.

“This is a respectable establishment, not a hookup bar.  Do you even know her name?”  He turned to see Cobblepot giving him an exasperated look.  It wasn’t too different from the look the Penguin gave Nightcreeper whenever they met.

“I never implied it was a hookup bar.  But if I want a little company after work, it’s no one’s business but my own.”  The blonde was making her way back to them, so Kurt stood up and met her halfway.  As they left the club, Kurt tossed a brief wave over to the bar.

“He definitely doesn’t know her name.” Stated Cardinal.

“The playing around would be almost amusing if he wasn’t so obnoxious about it.”

“Oh my God, what did you do?  It looks like a massacre in here.”  Colombina’s wide blue eyes took in the red gore splattering the small kitchen.

“It’s just tomato sauce!” protested Kurt.

“You’ve got a red stain all over the back of your shirt.  How . . . . does that even happen?  Did you turn away from the stove just as it exploded?”

“I was so careful this time,” he moaned.  “It makes no sense!”

“And finally, for the State of Bavaria, the winner of this year’s Senior Fencing Cup is Kurt Ryder.”  The teenager waved at the screaming audience and came up to the stage to accept his trophy.  Before going back down, the principal grasped his arm.  “Before I conclude this ceremony, I have one more announcement to make.  As the Olympics are later this year, tryouts are now starting for the team.  According to the judges, the three top fencers from each state senior circuit, assuming they are old enough, may participate.  Qualifying trials will be next month at -”

Kurt sat down with a thud as the official started fielding questions from the crowd.  He’d have to tell Mama and Marie about this immediately.  The trials were unfortunately in the middle of the circus season but the chance to be an Olympic athlete didn’t come around very often.  This might be his only opportunity to do something like this.

He went home to a surprise party.  “Congratulations!  I told you you’d win,” Irene smiled.  She and Marie had worked all day to prepare the party for Kurt.

“Yes, Mamma.  I should know you’re always right in your predictions.”  He kissed her on the cheek.

“And I’ve already arranged for you to stay with the Wagners this summer.  You’ll have to help out with their farm when you’re not practicing but they’ll take you to Munich for the trials.  And you can move straight in after the Olympics.”

“Jimaine’s gonna be disappointed,” teased Marie.  “She was looking forward to doing your ‘Lover’s Act’ again this year.”

“She’s just going to have to live with it.”  Last year had been fun, but Jimaine apparently was reading more into the act than Kurt felt.  He might have considered pursuing a real relationship with her but while Jimaine was content to be a circus acrobat (no small feat in itself), Kurt wanted more than that.  She didn’t understand why he was so interested in attending a Universitaten or was considering leaving Germany at all.  He’d even found her trying to tear up his Abitur results.  Fortunately, he had stopped her before she did any real damage but the act just solidified his decision that they really wouldn’t be a good couple.

“Maybe you’ll find a cute girlfriend to cook for you in the Olympics.  Or maybe after the trials, at the University of Television and Film.”

“He’d better hope so,” Irene muttered.  “He’s not going to ever get better at cooking.”

“I’ve been trying,” he protested.  “Cooking’s a difficult skill to learn!”

“True,” his sister backed him up.  “Miracles have been known to happen.”

She smiled with amusement.  “Which you were.”

“-behind your back.  I didn’t even get to the part about the menage a trois before he jumped in.  Literally, he landed on my back.  I’m lucky I’m as flexible as I am otherwise I’m pretty sure he would have done a lot more damage.”

“Ouch!  He’s got to be at least 185 centimeters tall and he’s built.  Want me to massage your back?”

“Yes, please.”  Kitty heated up the paraffin bath and got out the oils and latex gloves.  As Kurt stripped down and she waited for the bath to heat up she mused aloud.  “I’ll go and apologize to them tonight.  I’ve got first the twilight patrol so if I go right after, I’ll probably catch them just before they go to sleep.”

Kitty yawned but continued determinedly to the guest wing.  One last thing and then she could go to bed.  When she got to the room assigned to the girls from Jump City (she wondered what the equivalent city in this world was) she slowed then stopped.  There was a thick haze of lust in the air, heavy enough that she could feed on it if she so chose.

The former X-Woman flushed.  Were Sparrow and Colombina in a relationship?  She didn’t think of Jubilee in that manner, but they were from an alternate universe.  She should go and apologize to the Nightcreeper first.

Before she could leave she heard voices from beyond the door.  One she recognized as Colombina, the other sounded like Nightcreeper.  What was he doing in the room?  And that overwhelming feeling of lust and jealousy?  Now worried, Kitty put her hand on the doorknob.  She could just phase in but she wanted to make as big a scene as possible.

“Oh man, are Ryder and Kitty still going at it?”  Martenitsi’s voice interrupted her.  Kitty whirled around to look at the other two female members of the Misfits.

“You know how jealous Ryder gets.  Kitty’s gonna be lucky if he lets her get any sleep tonight.”  Sparrow noticed Shadowcat standing in front of the door.  “Oh hey, we were just looking for you.  Is there any way the two of us could get a separate room?”

“I could do that,” she answered absently.  Then realizing she could get some more information, “The two of them are in a relationship?”

She received two confused looks in return.  “Aren’t you and Nightcreeper- sorry, Nightcrawler in a relationship?  You weren’t exactly trying to hide it.  Speaking of which, you should know he tried to proposition Colombina earlier today.”

“We’re in an open relationship.”  The answer came automatically.  “But isn't he a little too old for her?  Kurt and I are only two years apart.  Colombina looks quite a bit younger than I do and Nightcreeper looks quite a bit older than Kurt.”

Sparrow took it upon herself to argue with her, while Martenitsi stayed a few feet back to watch.  “They’re only twelve years apart.  And Kitty’s twenty-two, she’s old enough to make her own decisions.  And how old could you possibly be, you look seventeen!  You can’t possibly be older than our Colombina.”

“I’m twenty-four,” she responded dryly.  “So he’s not taking advantage of her?”

“She’s got the same abilities as you do.  If she really objected, she could just phase out of his reach.”

“You can take advantage of people in ways that don’t involve physical force.  Again, is this relationship really voluntary on both sides?  He’s not manipulating her or anything?”

“You seem to have this strange idea that she’s an innocent to be protected.  It’s not like he took her virginity and that makes her his property or anything.”

“Sexual experience is no guarantee that you can’t be pressured into a relationship.  Believe me, I’m very well versed in the concept of ‘dubious consent’.”

Sparrow sighed.  “Look, let me put it this way.  How many people have you killed?”

Now, this was a strange turn in the conversation.  “A few.  Less than a dozen, even if you count the robots.”

“And how many people has your Nightcreeper- Nightcrawler, I swear I’m going to get that right someday, killed?”

“Just one and it was in self-defense.”

The Asian pointed into the room.  “Nightcreeper, body count: zero.  Colombina, body count: Unknown but definitely over fifty.”

Well, that put a different spin on things.  While Kitty digested this new piece of information (that shy little thing had a body count that could match Wolverine!) a very familiar moan came from behind the closed door.  After a few seconds, she could hear the Nightcreeper talking again.

“We’re not done yet, liebling.  I’m not going to be satisfied until you know who you belong to down to your very bones.”

“I’m not (pant, pant) . . . I didn’t-” Colombina cried out, a noise that Kitty knew didn’t mean she was in pain.

“Next time you won’t test me, right?  You’ll turn down that offer right away rather than having me speak for you, richtig?”

“Really?  Because that doesn’t sound very loving to me.”  

The two Misfits blushed.  “He’s not always like that,” put in the blonde.  “He just gets really uninhibited in this form.  If he was in his civilian identity, he’d be so embarrassed that we’re listening in right now.”

“Civilian identity?”

“Sure!  I mean yours doesn’t go around with blue fur and gold eyes all the time, does he?”  A pregnant pause.  “Oh my god, you mean he always looks like that?  It’s not an effect of the chemicals?”

“Technically, the Creep’s in his natural form right now,” piped up Sparrow.  “He needs a patch to bring his body back to human baseline.  But the point is, Kurt Ryder is the original, not Nightcreeper.”

This was so confusing.

“Oh God, Kurt!”

“So, a new room!”  Kitty brought her hands together with a clap.  Time to change the subject.  “Somewhere far from the noise I take it?”

“Please!”

“I think I owe the two of you an apology.”  Nightcreeper had staked his claim rather flamboyantly this morning by pulling Colombina into his lap and feeding her by hand.  Colombina had blushed but gone along willingly.

“You don’t owe anyone an apology, your boyfriend owes you an apology for his rampant infidelity.”  Colombina straightened up to look her counterpart in the eye.

“Yeah, I do.  We’ve got an open relationship and I’m aware of what he’s doing so he’s not cheating.  In any case, he was asking on my behalf, not his own.”

“Yours?”

“Let’s just say it’s one of the differences between your world and mine.”  She could see the cloud of confusion coming from both of them.  “I know your group is hiding things, so let’s just say it’s one of Excalibur’s secrets in return.

“But anyway, what I want you to know is that we’re both sorry for making you uncomfortable and no one’s going to expect anything from the two of you.  If there’s anything I can do to make up for this-”

“Actually I have an idea!”  The green man interrupted.  “I heard you had something called a Danger Room, worked a bit like those holodecks in Star Trek.”

“Lord of the Rings crossed with Pirates of the Caribbean.  He’s definitely your counterpart, Kurt.”