It sounded crazy. You couldn’t believe it was Kokoro proposing the idea.

‘You want to watch a horror movie?’

Kokoro scoffed and shook his head.

‘It’s not a horror movie. It’s based on the plot of the first Undead game!’

‘Ah, I get it now.’

If anything would get Kokoro to not only watch a scary movie, but actually be the one to recommend watching it, it would be the fact that it’s based on his favourite video game series.

He hurried over to his backpack and pulled the DVD from the front pocket.

‘I rented it at the library. Look! Joma is on the cover and everything. This is going to be so nostalgic,’ he fawned, looking at the DVD as though there weren’t bony, purple hands grabbing Joma’s body from all sides.

The cover was mostly red, from blood you presumed. You weren’t one hundred percent sure what the first Undead game was like, but for him to say it wasn’t a horror movie while looking at the cover was borderline delusional.

And this was no small risk. Kokoro’s response to jump scares was unlike anything you had ever seen before. The shamelessness and vulnerability with which he’d flail–and then pretend like it didn’t actually bother him that much–was very unique.

‘How many years has it been since you’ve played this game?’ you asked.

His look of admiration only grew as he pondered the answer to your question. He let out a soft sigh, like someone reminiscing about a beautiful romance rather than a graphic, gory game.

‘I first played maybe five or six years ago. I’ve been so hooked on the series ever since. The third game that’s coming out is going to reference stuff from the first game and this movie!’

You opened your mouth to respond, but he was not done.

‘So I need to study up so I can get all the little references. As a fan, I can’t not watch this movie.’

The image of Kokoro holding this terrifying movie in his hands made more sense now.

‘Oh, so it’s a FOMO thing, even though it’s a horror movie.’

‘Not a horror movie!’ he said in a sing-song voice, ‘You’ll see, when we watch,’ he nodded, and then quickly looked at you, ‘Right? You’ll watch it with me?’

His brown eyes sparkled with hope as though there was a chance you would refuse. Even if it were a genre you hated, an opportunity to spend time with Kokoro was always bound to leave you with a happy feeling.

From the first time you met, you hoped and hoped that you’d become closer. You had gotten what you wanted, but still found yourself wanting more. Your heart yearned for something beyond it.

What kept you in check was that despite being undoubtedly handsome and liked by many girls on campus, Kokoro never seemed interested in dating. He was a study and go home kind of guy, more interested in his personal hobbies.

Thinking more about your predicament would only make you sad, so you pushed the thoughts away and snapped back to reality. In good timing too, because he was still waiting for your answer.

‘Sure, let’s do it!’ you smiled, and that was his cue to start gathering the pillows and blankets.

You took on your usual role of making popcorn as he set up your movie-watching space. Movie nights at Kokoro's house were tradition now, making room in your schedule whenever you weren't drowning in school work—and sometimes even when you were, because your roommate invited her boyfriend to your dorm every weekend and they showed enough cringe-worthy PDA to make you feel like the third wheel even if you were in another room.

And, you couldn’t deny that you liked being at Kokoro’s house even when your roommate and her boyfriend weren’t all over each other. Spending time with him had quickly become one of your favourite things, and him your favourite person.

Over time, Kokoro perfected the art of blanket forts. The collapse rate has decreased significantly since you first started having these movie nights, and he always looked proud about it. Though, you kind of miss how cute his pout looked when things started to topple.

The fort you saw when you returned to the living room was fuller and much stronger looking, as though it were to defend you from real danger. You walked closer and met his gaze in a small hole between two blankets.

‘Just patching up the walls here,’ he said, disappearing when he pulled the blankets all the way together, ‘Don’t want to leave any holes.’

You put down the bowls of popcorn in front of the fort and peeked your head in behind him. He didn’t know you were there, and a mischievous impulse grew.

‘For zombies to get you from?’ you blurted, and he nearly jumped out of his skin.

Once the immediate fear subsided, he tried to play it cool.

‘No,’ he huffed, ‘so you don’t complain about being cold again.’

You couldn’t help but smile. He was an awful liar.

‘Well, thank you. I appreciate that,’ you played along. You gave his back a gentle pat.

It didn't take long for both of you to get settled in the fort with popcorn and drinks. Kokoro looked too comfortable. You were waiting for him to find a way out of it, with an excuse like he hurt his eye and couldn’t watch the TV or something ridiculous.

You only half-watched the intro to the movie, instead focusing on Kokoro’s expression. He genuinely seemed happy to be watching, especially when Joma appeared on screen. He hummed and did a small dance when a song, seemingly from the game, came on.

Kokoro wasn’t against horror movies at any point, but the idea of wanting to turn one on for funsies on a Friday night, rather than reluctantly agreeing to watch one that a friend suggested, was an interesting development. Even if it was about his favourite game.

The beginning of the movie was actually quite calm, focused more on the plot and Joma’s tragic childhood.

‘This is great,’ Kokoro said as he munched away on his popcorn. ‘Look, there’s even cute dogs in this movie.’

You learned, from this experience, to never trust a horror movie with cute dogs.

The horror part of the movie came quick. Within five minutes of him saying that, the cute dogs were gone and a lot of people were becoming gruesome, blood-thirsty zombies.

Kokoro was less triumphant about the whole thing now. His smile was gone and he was clenching onto a pillow so tight that you thought his fingers would go right through it. The popcorn bowl that he usually didn’t put down until he finished sat at his feet half-full.

‘W-Where did the dogs go?’ he asked.

‘They… um, ran away,’ you lied.

'Oh god!' he wailed, 'Not the dogs! Why'd they bring the dogs into this?' 

If that wasn’t enough to change his cheerful vibe, the music got him going. He started shuffling in his spot as the piano sounds became frantic.

'We can turn it off,' you murmured, still feeling worried for him. Being so distracted was helping you feel less scared. You barely knew what was happening in the movie anymore.

Kokoro kept his eyes on the screen, but slowly nodded. He looked completely shaken and nothing crazy had happened on screen yet.

The music went silent. Kokoro hid his face. You watched the screen through the spaces between your fingers and braced yourself for the first jump scare.

Then, Kokoro's phone rang and he screamed. Then, the jump scare happened, a mangled zombie face popping onto the screen, and you both screamed. Then, the fort collapsed and you were trapped in the dark and listening to the eerie piano sounds blaring through the T.V speakers.

‘That was not in the game!’ he cried as he scrambled around.

You could feel the popcorn spill onto your leg as the two of you tried to catch your bearings. Finally Kokoro got a proper grip and yanked the blankets off.

Things simmered down on screen, for dramatic effect. A wide shot of many half-zombified bodies laid on an eerie, dark road.

Your body vibrated as it cooled down from the huge shock. You kind of liked the thrill, feeling much better to have someone there with you, but Kokoro was not a fan.

He smashed the pause button on the remote and clutched it to his chest as he caught his breath.

‘This movie has no business doing jump scares like that,’ he blinked.

You giggled and shook your head in agreement as you started picking up pieces of popcorn from off your lap.

‘We don’t have to watch any more,’ you said. It seemed like the right time for an “I told you so” moment, but you didn’t have the heart to do that while he was still so jittery.

He started helping you pick up the popcorn as he thought about it. You know he’d be torn, because he hated giving up on things. He was particularly confident in his streak of finishing every game he has ever started since age 16.

‘I have to see it through until the end,’ he said, but his confident voice was accompanied by a frown.

You pursed your lips as you thought about a way to help him through this. There was no use in letting him traumatize himself, and maybe end up hating his favourite video game franchise because of it.

‘Um… but, I was actually wondering if you could watch the rest another time with someone else. I-I’m kind of scared,’ you said, which was half-true.

His frown vanished, and he nodded with a bright smile. You felt proud of yourself for being able to make him feel better.

‘Absolutely. I don’t want you to be too scared.’

Thankfully the light in the living room was connected to an app, so neither of you had to get up and brave the darkness to turn it back on. When Kokoro could see that there was no zombies in his immediate vicinity, he crawled over to the TV and took the DVD. After putting it back in the case, he held it with the very smallest parts of his fingertips. He put it in the pocket of his backpack and zipped it up all the way.

You decided to watch anime instead, something much more upbeat and much more to Kokoro’s usual taste.

Even though his posture had relaxed and he was back to eating popcorn again, he was still not normal. His eyes would dart in the direction of each small sound he heard, which were mostly normal sounds that you were used to as someone who didn’t even live there. He lived in a student apartment, so it would’ve actually been much scarier if it were completely silent.

Your eyes began to burn as the ending credits of the third episode rolled across the screen. It was getting late, almost twelve thirty, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to stay up much longer. The week had been full of early morning classes and late study nights. The blanket fort was often your sleeping spot on these movie nights, because who wants to get up and walk home after being wrapped up in blankets for hours?

It wasn’t long past the intro of episode four before you gave up on fighting sleep and let yourself doze off.

- ⏾ -

When you woke up again, the moonlight laid in thick lines across the living room floor and walls. The TV was still on, but muted. You could see the microwave from where you were laying, and squinted to let the numbers come into focus. 

Four AM.

It was warmer than usual. As you lay there, you noticed the soft sound of breathing. Kokoro hadn’t gone to his bed like he usually did.

You tilted your head to look up at him, as he was still sort of sitting up on a pile of pillows, and he opened his eyes right away and looked back at you.

‘Sorry,’ he murmured, voice deep from being so tired, ‘I keep hearing things. I’m never picking the movie again.’

You laughed through your nose, ‘We’ll just never watch a horror movie again.’

Kokoro nodded, and then frowned, ‘Or movies with cute dogs that… run away.’

‘Definitely never want to watch that again,’ you agreed.

Kokoro was loopy from being tired. You were too. He acted close to you always, but he looked more serious now. It wasn’t like how he’d nearly tickle you to death if you teased him about anything. It was softer. Kokoro was always softer at night, how he moved, and talked, and looked at you. There were two sides of Kokoro that you loved so much, day and night, and you wished it were easy to go without sleep so you never missed any time with either side of him.

He shuffled down so he was laying beside you and looked up at the ceiling. His arm was pressed against yours. You had never felt his skin against yours for so long. Your cheeks bloomed with heat.

There had always been a distance, always a moment that could have lasted a second or two longer, always something left on your tongue that you wished you would have said to him.

His fingers brushed yours, as though he was making sense of this new closeness too.

He didn’t move his hand away, like you thought he would.

‘Thanks for telling me you were scared,’ he said, ‘You know me really well.’

You pursed your lips together to hide a smile.

‘I was scared.’

‘You absolutely were not,’ he chuckled, ‘And I know that because I know you really well too.’

You couldn’t hide the smile anymore, and didn’t try to. In the corner of your eye, you could see that he turned his head to look at you.

‘I feel bad that we didn’t have a proper movie night. I know you usually leave early in the morning, but can I take you out for breakfast to make up for it?’

The formality with which he asked, compared to his usual, “Ramen?” caused your heart to jump. You subtly pressed your nail into your thigh in hopes that it would hurt. It did.

‘Y-You don’t have to make it up to me,’ you began, because apparently it wasn’t a dream and a very real Kokoro was waiting for your response. ‘But, I’d love to go anyways.’

He exhaled, sounding similar to when he was trying to relax post-jump scare. There was a shakiness about it that you didn’t understand until his fingers brushed yours again.

‘It’ll be nice,’ he said, and exhaled again. ‘I’m sorry… I’m so tired.’

You opened your mouth to ask why he was apologizing, but he spoke first.

‘But I’ve been wanting to spend more time with you. I should have asked you out earlier,’ he continued.

The next few seconds were filled only by the sound of your heart pounding in your chest. You hoped he wouldn’t be able to see it, though it was beating so hard that even the dim moonlight may have exposed you.

‘R-Really?’ was all you could think to say.

He pressed his palms to his face and groaned.

‘I could have said that better.’

He probably could have, because that wasn’t nearly direct enough for your hopeful heart. Could he really being saying this and mean it the way you had been wishing deep down?

He chuckled and poked your side gently.

‘I thought I was making it too obvious sometimes. Maybe you don’t know me as well as I thought,’ he joked.

If he had been too obvious about his feelings for you, people he didn’t have feelings for must’ve thought he hated them.

But, thinking about it more, Kokoro was really nice for someone who didn’t seem close with any other girls. You always thought it was because you were strictly a friend to him and someone he could talk about video games with, but maybe you had it all wrong.

Maybe he had been feeling like you this whole time too.

If that was the case, you had nothing to lose.

‘What about me?’ you asked.

‘About you?’

You had never actually imagined a moment where you would be confessing to Kokoro. You could only hope the fact that it was four AM would give you some grace if you said something silly.

You closed your eyes, searching for any and all courage you had. 

‘Did I make it obvious too?’

Your eyes snapped open, too curious to see how he’d respond, and if he’d even follow what you were getting at.

Kokoro shook his head and smiled.

‘I’m sorry I’m only getting the courage to tell you this in the middle of the night. It just… feels easier to say it, you know?’

He was right. You aren’t sure that you would have had the confidence to hold his hand at any other time of day.

‘Yes, it does.’

You both lay in silence. You focused as hard as you could on how his hand felt laced with yours, never wanting to forget it.

When you looked over, Kokoro had finally fallen asleep. You didn't like being the only one awake in his house, since it really could be creepy—even without having watched a horror movie—but night didn't feel dark and eerie at that time, just comfortable and calm.