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Having a partner who can’t let me have time to myself or let me be an individual is killing me.
Wtf is so wrong with wanting to still be “me” and not be “us”. I am still my own person. I Am still a Valid person. Just because I am in a relationship doesn’t mean I should have to lose “myself”.
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In a weird sense, I kinda understand how some may feel someone transitioning is kind of a death and a birth. I would never stop my life partner from being who they are but I didn’t realize how hard it would be watching the person I love physically become/look like someone unfamiliar.
The shape of their loving face I’ve become so accustomed to seeing the last 7 years-so different. Their body that I knew ever inch of-an unexplored terrain. Their loving eyes that stare into my soul-sifted but still holding the same love I’ve always seen.
I know he’s still the same person and I want him to be happy more than anything in this world. I just didn’t realize how hard it was going to be to watch the physically person I’m so familiar with change so dramatically and it’s only been a few months. What do the next few months/year hold?
I love him so much and stand strong by his side as my mind wages a war with my heart. My mind seeing someone who I do not know while my heart knows exactly who he is.....my world!
I am so overwhelmed with all the changes but I want to be on this journey with him regardless!
How can the man I love look into my eyes and not see the pain he has caused?
I have been pushed aside, yelled at, ignored, made the feel wrong for who I am and how I feel.
Why is this stilll the person I love?
-stupidity
-lack of self worth
-more afraid to be alone than miserable
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