I don't know why I even bother. No matter what, nothing is ever good enough. If I say I don't want to do anything or go anywhere on a Saturday then I'm a bitch and being crabby when in reality I know if I leave the house I'll spend money I don't have on shit I don't need. And I'm just fucking tired from working all week and just want to recover. But of course, if I start telling people I've been diagnosed with MG, then they'll act all sympathetic at first, then turn it around and say, " You never feel good" or "Why didn't you say something earlier about being sick?" Never mind that I've been dealing with the symptoms and have been trying to get answers for 5+ years. They'll always find some way to make it my fault.
I got sick with Norovirus at the beginning of February and ended up missing a LOT of work that month from the virus to getting pink eye to ending up with walking pneumonia, so I've been very financially stressed.
Then I decided to go to a wrestling show in Des Moines at the beginning of May, and my mom had to invite herself along (just to sit at the hotel by herself) because God forbid I be able to drive 4 hours and meet my friends on my own.
I was supposed to go see an old movie at the old theater downtown with a family member, but (thankfully) before I could get tickets, they decided to ditch me. We could have gone a different day, but nope, I'm not worthy enough to spend any time with.
Is it too much to ask that someone in my fucking family would make me a priority just once? My own brother won't even have a conversation with me about why I wasn't allowed to be a God parent to my niece but BOTH my sister-in-law's siblings could be along with my brother's drunk friend.
I just want to be happy and wanted and included. But that's too much to ask for.
