So, I have a boyfriend. I guess. I think.
As an adult, who has been gotten two big fat Whammies when I tried my luck in love, how do you know when you have a boyfriend?
It seems to be a weird mix of trying to keep all the past relationship shit at bay while trying to show someone you are really enjoying the hell out of them. I’m so fucking scared to fail again. I’m so fucking scared to feel that dreadful emptiness heartbreak delivers.
I’m struggling with the balance but I’m ready for the challenge. I hope he can talk to me about the big stuff. I want to feel vulnerable and have long deep conversations about every little thing.
Being closed up with sky high walls is tiring and I don’t want to do it.
He makes me giggle and he makes me wiggle. I love waking up next to him. His arms around me feel almost as good as his *$@^ feels in me. I’m comfortably uncomfortable around him. He thinks I don’t fart and my shit smells like roses.
I’m a bit smitten. I hope I have a boyfriend.