#allhailthegoldcloud

Yeah, hey it’s TR! Lol it’s been a minute so I had to backtrack to figure out your old username. CD has already started this one from a little while ago so I’m just here to bring the last of it home.

World: Alternia

Name: Feyarr Ridawk

Yep, I remember! Something about this feels…bird-y? Which given that your theming is inventing and reptiles we might need to step it back a little. How about Mandar Ritalc? Mandar because inventions are associated with fire, which made me think of fire salamanders, and because of Mandark in Dexter’s Laboratory. Ritalc still retains a similar lexical flow to the original last name but is just a mixup of Lacertilia, which is the suborder of lizards.

Meaning: none, this is part of the ongoing series of my first fansession

Age: 6 sweeps

Gender: male

Theme/Story: Feyarr’s whole theme is inventing and lizards. He fills up space with worthless trinkets and devices, and his hive is so messy and booby trapped that even his moirial can’t get through without accidentally hurting himself.

I don’t know if you’ve seen She-ra and the Princesses of Power, but going a sort of vaguely Entrapta route with this character could be fun! You’re trying to build up a Bard of Space here, and Bards of Space are going to restrict movement. Like, literal, physical movement. Passively, of course, they’re not standing there and holding anyone hostage, but traps and such are a great way to communicate this feeling! 

Space is also embodied by a sort of patience that you would want to challenge here. He’s a bard of space, so he’s destroying that sort of big-picture, let it flow mentality and actively chasing after things. Think of an impulse to do things Now, creating before he has a good idea of what he’s doing, being overambitious and thoughtless and often getting people Stuck because of his behavior. Mostly literally, but other times more metaphorically. 

Goals: Redesign if needed, reworking of the character, the usual.

Strife Specibus: flailkind. he’s pretty clumsy with it, but has personally decorated it so he wants to keep it.

Having a personally decorated weapon is a really cute idea that I appreciate, but I also am not quite sure if a flail really fits the theme you’re building here? He’s an inventor, not a knight. I almost feel like you should use something like a Trapkind where he has some inbuilt thing. Or maybe even something that’s just like what?kind, that functions in a manner similar to jokerkind or Vriska’s dicekind where it just does some nonsense. 

Fetch Modus: He has to break down “walls” to get the item.

If he likes building traps, I can see him trying to make it difficult to get in. Maybe he could have a Laser Trap modus where you’re supposed to use a certain pattern to get in, but if you mess up you get boobytrapped. Makes it really difficult to use under pressure! The last thing you need in a near-death situation is to get caught in a trap! 

Blood Color: indigo

Symbol and Meaning: Sagigo (EZ)

Handle: twistedExplosion[TE]

You haven’t gone a lot into his love of destruction here in his profile, so I don’t know how I feel about explosion being his major name association. BUt I don’t want to take it away entirely…. How about:

wrecktifiedInnovator [WI]

Wrecktified pays tribute to the idea of rectifying or rebuilding something, while also nodding to wreckage/destruction. There’s an added benefit that wrecktified in informal parlance also means “A response designed to stop bad behavior, which paradoxically produces more of it,” which feels fitting. Innovation is fairly straightforward! 

Quirk: randomly puts things in caps for EMPHASIS! >>-> separates sentences with that thing there.

i think it would be fun if he stARTED CAPITALIZING IN THE MIDDLE OF SENTENCES. like he’s building uP TO SOMETHING. you have to create a foundation before you can aDD THE PIZZAZZ. I think the separation with his symbol can stay, though! 

Special Abilities: None, besides super strength like other indigos.

Lusus/Guardian: lizarddad

I almost want to recommend something more trapping-related. Trapdoor spider? Orchid mantis? 

Interests: building, taking apart, fixing things, building traps, extreme sports, destruction, and did i mention building traps?

Appearance: 

Personality: Feyarr is an unpredictable and reckless troll. He wants to both build and destroy anything he can, but does care deeply about his friends safety- but often doesn’t notice when things aren’t safe. His friends aren’t as into his interests, but pretends to be to please him. His moirial has a huge flushcrush on him, but the feelings are not returned.

Dancestor: Komesc Ridawk, the rogue of space

Ancestor: the Animator Tristone

Lunar Sway: Prospit

Title: Bard of Space

Land: Land of Black Holes and Frogs

Thank you!!!

I didn’t really have much at all to add to what CD already said here, so let’s just run through a quick redesign:

We’ve got some work to do on this sprite. I see Tavros’s eyes, Terezi’s mouth, and Equius’s tank and shorts. One on its own would probably fly, but all together this starts to look a little procedurally generated. I tried to keep the spirit of your design intact. Let’s go top to bottom.

Horns - I loved the idea of both of them going the same way, but I wanted the shapes to be a little more distinct and less curved.

Hair - It just needed a little more mess and volume. Edited from a fan-troll template with tufts to echo the symbol.

Eyes - I took another fan-troll template and basically smushed it on top of the existing eyes.

Mouth - still wanted to go for a toothy look. I was going for something a little Randall from Monsters Inc.

Outfit - used a fan-troll template to turn the top half into overalls, which sufficiently conveys “inventor” without making him an Equius clone.

And that’s everything! Hope this all helped.

John: i’m not lying!

Dammek: We are the Resisty! And we have come to-

Trizza: Whoa, whoa whoa. Did you say the Resisty?

Dammek: Yes the Resisty! And we have come to-

Trizza: That's a stupid name.

Dammek: See! I told you it was stupid! Why do I keep listening to you??

i don’t know if i can guess your favorite! however, if i were to assign you a partner pokemon, it would be.......

correct!Pygmlo doesn’t only smile when he is around Venter, he smiles the most around Venter, but he also smiles when he is with his friend Koresh.

Tavros: *fALLS OVER, dOESN’T GET UP,*

World: Alternia

Name: Anandi Marana

Meaning: once again, none :( she’s an old troll.

Anandi is a real human name that’s relatively well known, so I think we should move away from that to… Apsind? Which is a discombobulation of Spinda. You’ll see an explanation down below. For the last name, what about Cotsch? As a mixup of Scotch, a reference to Hopscotching. I know it’s kinda a big changeup of names, but it’s probably worthwhile considering Marana is a Place In Arizona. 

Age: 6 sweeps

Gender: gender fluid, will be referred to as she for now to prevent confusion.

Theme/Story: Anandi’s main theme is jade who wants to be free, which is the same as most other jades actually. Funny. As well as childhood games and toys like jump roping, bubbles, and jacks. She often got punished misbehaving when she was younger, and always being told what to do and where to go and how to act. She used to listen, and just go with flow, but when she started meeting other trolls she changed, and tried to make her own freedoms.

So a big theme you have going on here is a kind of childishness/interest in childish games (which makes sense because she’s a kid) and her outfit design almost looks sportlike, like a basketball player’s clothes, so combining those two observations, I think an interesting thing to add to her themeing might be like… professional Competitive Fiduspawn Player 

Maybe in an almost… Jared Hess’ “Nacho Libre” sort of narrative. She loves the grubs and wants to take care of them, but she dreams of bigger things (and bigger paychecks), too! But fiduspawn is such a lowbrow game and she’s a semi-noble! So she’s gotta forge her own path and become the Masked Fiduspawner. 

It’s just a fun extra narrative layer on top of what you’ve already got going on.

Goals: design would help a lot, I’m not happy with how she looks. General overview is good too!

Strife Specibus: jumprope kind. Trust me, it can be a weapon

Fetch Modus: Jacks: she has to pick up the items like playing a game of jacks to put them into her modus.

How does she deposit them? Just tossing jacks? 

Blood Color: jade

Symbol and Meaning: virun, sign of the eager

(My recommendation would be:)

( VIRUS, SIGN OF THE ADAPTABLE) Handle: destructiveBubbles[DB]

How about plushyFirebrand? Plushy as a subtle reference to Host Plushies and firebrand calls to mind more Excitability and Change drive than ‘destructive’, which sounds hostile. 

Quirk: replaces i with ! And uses lots of exclamation points.

You could also make her have xx’s on both sides of her messages to represent Jacks. 

Special Abilities: none

Lusus/Guardian: none, she’s a jade

Interests: games such as jacks, jumprope, hula hooping, and so on. As well as taking care of grubs!

Appearance: I really don’t like this sprite, but I’ve remade it too much already lol

Personality: Anandi is a cheerful and stubborn troll, having changed a lot since she was a younger jade. She wants to make her own destiny, and have the freedom and confidence to do so! She tries to inspire the other jades in her cloister, as well as her online friends. She acts brave and selfless most of the time, but in a panicked situation she can get quite scared and meek. She’s kind to all, which is part of her jadeblood nature. She will do anything to help, even if it includes breaking the rules.

(This, really, is a Prospit character. A Prospit character who’s recently decided to become a revolutionary, but a Prospitan nontheless. The cheer, the destiny references, the lack of facades… I could go on.) (Not all Dersites are freedom fighters. Trizza Tethis, of Hiveswap, is a Derse/Blood player. Dersites rail against things, true, but wanting to change society/the path you’re on is not exclusive to them.)

Dancestor: Arekha Marana, the seer of breath

Ancestor: the Huntress, a rogue jade who didn’t want to live a docile life if caring for grubs and instead became an assassin.

Lunar Sway: Derse

As SA discussed above, I think she’d make a better prospitan. She has the adaptability and mutability of a prospit friend. She’s also emotionally reactive and doesn’t necessarily think things through thoroughly, which is the hallmark of Derse. 

Title: Maid of Breath

I don’t know if she has the same narrative structure as a maid… I’d almost be tempted to say witch? Have we said witch for one of yours yet? Keeping classpects straight in big collections of characters is so hard when they’re not your own. Well, if we haven’t said Witch yet, I’d probably say witch. 

Land: Land of Sky and Towers

Design Party!:

I just neatened things up, added some more details and like, unique fashion pieces (jacket time!) and then gave ‘er eyebags and updated the symbol! 

Thank you! You always do such a great job with these.

I’m glad you think so! Thank you for sharing! <3