#alien larvae

Isn't that sorta the best of both worlds? The way I imagine it is they're sort of like babies in the way that they're bigger and squirm around a bunch but they're also like eggs because I imagine all of them having their own amniotic sacs stronger than the ones around babies so they're like really big very soft eggs packed with a viscous jelly like substance and the alien larvae. They normally come out intact and the larvae gets themselves out of the sac after birth but sometimes they tear during pushing and then the jelly stuff goes absolutely everywhere which makes birthing easier because of the lubrication but harder because now the alien larvae is unrestricted and it can thrash around as much as it wants.

The shocking secret behind the iPhone is that it is not a phone, music player, productivity device, or any of the other things that it pretends to be. It is, in fact, a parasite. In the early days, the iPhone was just what it seemed to be: a sleek piece of hardware with an intuitive design and basic apps controlled by touch. Released by Apple after their iPod clawed market share away from Sony's Walkman empire, the first model of the iPhone quickly crossed the million-sale mark. Shortly after this achievement, our story takes a sinister turn. Some observant Apple employees began to sense something was amiss. There were certain laboratories deep inside the Apple headquarters that were off-limits, even to them. Refrigerated trucks came and went in the middle of the night. There were frequent visits from little-known government agencies who were looking to "improve productivity" with the iPhone. In a daring midnight raid, a group of Apple employees uncovered the horrible truth... Every model of iPhone from the 3G onwards is actually a hard-shelled protective egg-sac. Inside the shell is a larval alien organism. In a secret deal with the US government, Apple began to use the iPhone as a dispersal mechanism for the coming alien invasion. The larva inside lives off heat from the user's hand and kinetic energy from the action of the user's fingertips. In return the entity stimulates endorphin release to the user, creating a feeling of wellbeing, self-confidence and control. Ever notice the smug look an executive gets when pulling out a iPhone? It learns about the life of its owner: how he or she spends their day, who they know, what they like and don't like, usernames and passwords, favourite restaurants, kids' birthdays. It can hear voices, examine movements and body language, analyse faces via the camera and touch screen. At a certain point, the larva hatches, consuming the owner cleanly and silently. It takes the place of the owner in society by attending meetings, buying birthday presents, sending thank you cards to Grandma, all the while manipulating the affairs of the world in preparation for the Final Invasion. The transition is seamless.

Originally, the government thought to silently replace the next generation by targeting the young through handheld game consoles, music players, or shoes with flashy LEDs in the heels. However, after seeing the market appeal of the iPhone, the solution was clear: why wait for the young to grow up and assume control when you can target the power brokers at the peak of their influence? The transition to complete domination of the planet became a no-brainer. So when you see some power-suited go-getter whip out their iPhone, ask yourself "Are they a person? Are they alien? How am I able to tell?"