#albrich

The Chariot

close ups vv

Raz lingers outside of the tavern awkwardly, staring inside the windows at the people congregating within. It was a well-known circus fact that taverns were great for getting to know new areas and meet people (and maybe make a bit of cash) but well...there was one problem. Being ten. Raz isn’t exactly keen on the idea of walking into a tavern to ask questions only to get immediately thrown out.

Sucrose can’t read Kaeya on the best of days — they believe the best of him, they do, and thus they know he likely isn’t intending to cause them any harm whenever he teases.  Still, for a person so unskilled in social interactions and so prone to quiet awkwardness and anxiety...it’s a bit like Kaeya is oil to their water — which is to say, the awkwardness is very often unbearable.  That they seem to find Sucrose’s embarrassment funny, or at the very least endearing in a silly way, does little to help.

So when Kaeya approaches them — on their birthday no less — the alchemist is very much expecting the worst.  They’re bound to say something to tease them, and Sucrose believes that they’re prepared for it.  But Kaeya says very little — a simple ‘happy birthday, Sucrose’ — and simply ———

Simply ———

Sucrose almost faints.

They do go lightheaded, stumbling first back — and, were Kaeya not still holding their hand to their lips, they’d have fallen entirely — and then blinking as if to awaken from a dream.  Kaeya is — Cavalry Captain Kaeya is kissing (  the verb turns past tense once he realizes that sucrose is about to black out, releasing their hand as his expression goes more concerned than amused  ) kissed ——— oh, Barbatos, they don’t even want to know how red they are right now, and they can feel their ears pressed almost flat against the sides of their head and —

“Sucrose,” Kaeya ventures, voice kind if not still a little charmed, and the sound of their name about makes them jump out of their skin and when did their hands press to their face and OH BARBATOS PLEASE KILL THEM.  “Are you okay?”

“F - Fine!”  They’re surprised that they can speak and surprised at how fast the words come, though they’re muffled by their gloved hands pressed to their burning face — they force them away, after a beat.  There’s still not enough air in them, so the syllables flee breathily.  It’s not that they’re afraid, exactly, because they believe the best of Kaeya, they do —— but they are deeply embarrassed, bordering upon humiliated.  It’s just — romance may not be their focus, but they still — they’re not foolish, they’ve read the books and seen others, and they know that this is ———

Well, it’s certainly not an expression of a care that could possibly be pointed at someone like Sucrose.  Kaeya often tease them and that’s all this is, and maybe it’s the fact that they’re still light - headed, but they think it’s a little cruel.

(  they’re not angry, truly.  they believe the best of kaeya.  they wouldn’t do this, if they thought it would hurt.  sucrose still might faint, though.  )

“I — I need to get back to work now or Mister A - Albedo wi — will wonder where I’ve gone I’m very sorry butIneedtogo!”  INHALE!  They have to get it all out and escape before they truly do pass out.  “Thankyouforthebirthdaywishes!  HaveanicedayCavalryCaptainKaeya!”

such a sudden intrusion into his personal quarters would once have resulted in beautifully painted vitriolic words, decorated in the finest golds ( because albedo was an artist and so even his verbal berations had to be crafted in a way that captured the true essence of his exasperation ) befitting someone like kaeya. there would have been a gleam to his eyes; an irritation that lay dormant behind a tight pressed smile and then the studies of the day would be forced aside to make room for whatever nonsensical thing the cavalry captain would start to discuss. a sigh would leave albedo at some point throughout the ( one sided ) conversation as he’s dragged away from the comforts of the scientific and forced into the world of snowstorms and mysterious smiles.

that was the expected results / what was meant to be the unchanging results —— and yet. and yet.

kaeya walks into the room and albedo hums at the company. kaeya moves to drop the book in his hand and albedo reacts by shifting the more important paperwork ( research notes from sucrose in regards to their latest organismic study and a family portrait drawn by klee ) to give the book its own spot among his things / having claimed a place in his world just like the man who had brought it — a sentiment that after extensive research, albedo could say was shared between the two. and what a treasure and what a pleasure it is to have the privilege to even humor such a thought. to be one of the few / one of the many / one of the only? allowed so close inside the winter storm. to have found something akin to structure within the ever - changing pathways that mapped the individual that was kaeya; to say that he could spare a glance and discern the meaning behind different glimmers of the eye.. perhaps this was where the heights of his abilities was meant to shine brightest.

it’s when the familiar chill of snowflakes land on skin that his gaze moves to meet his company ( as if the attention had been on anything but him from the moment kaeya had stepped in the room, already getting in position for what’s become their favorite song and dance routine ) with unashamed curiosity and a matching smile if you were to look close enough; he knew kaeya was.

❛ good afternoon. here to shirk from responsibilities yet again? ❜ but there’s a warmth that’s almost welcoming to his tone, a delicacy to his fingers as hands reach out to grab at the newest additions to the pile. ❛ the wonders of life? not yet, i’m afraid. such perplexities are too steeped in the unknown to be entirely unraveled in a day’s time. though if you continue to bring me such gifts, i fear it’ll take me even longer to find that meaning. ❜ is what he says but it’s telling the way things are moved aside to give the books precedent / how he’s setting aside the stability of research to focus on the less structured, on the unknown, on the mystery of the man before him.

❛ i can assume you’ll be taking over the remainder of my day, then? ❜ an all too familiar pattern is what they fall into and so; the music begins and their waltz starts. ❛ then lead the way, kaeya. i'm all yours. ❜

(  Put “You’re beautiful.” in my ask box and watch my muse’s reaction. | @albrich​​ )

❝ ——— hmm? oh, it's nothing, i simply think this is the first time i've seen your entire face, ❞ they wave their hand flippantly / grin widening from where they stand, leaning against the wall oh so casually. ❝ it's only natural to be distracted by such an occasion, i think. you're quite beautiful, you know, ❞ stated SIMPLY, as though he were saying the sky is blue, no intention nor flirtation nor anything as his head tilts and, ❝ but please, do keep telling me about this book you found. ❞

     THE TOME HAD been discovered among the books left within barbara’s inherited manor. a book detailing stories & tales from across teyvat. she should have expected nothing less from seamus–––– though her opinion of the cardinal was...less than pleasant, she couldn’t call his adventuring any less than meticulous. the treasures from his travels were vast, but the only one that had truly caught her attention had been the book.

     HER EYES HAD skimmed it’s pages in––––between her coaching. she had made a point to turn her head when barbara was working, as she didn’t want her to feel as though zelda was hovering over her, but with the book in hand all she had to do was open to her bookmark & allow the words to wash over her. she was comforted by familiar stories from her childhood in inazuma, amazed by the poetic tales from liyue & fontaine, regaled with the adventurous epics from mondstadt & sumeru & even found herself lingering on the intriguing plots from natlan &   snezhnaya. she’d been taken on a journey through the best stories of teyvat, & she had no intention of stopping anytime soon.

     SHE FOUND HERSELF relaxed & at ease whenever she spent time with barbara like this. the estate had become a place away from prying eyes where she could drop the title of sheik & zelda could emerge for a while. her face coverings were often removed, her bangs braided out of her face while the rest of her hair was left to flow. she didn’t think anything of it within the walls of this manor, & so she didn’t think to hide or cower as kaeya entered the room. it took her a moment to notice their presence, as she was curled comfortably in a chair, flipping the pages as she neared the end of a story that impa used to tell her before bed when she was younger. the familiarity of the tale wrapped around her like a warm blanket, & allowed her to get lost in a daydream of the same words told in a familiar cadence as her hair was brushed & her eyelids began to grow heavy. 

      ❝ kaeya! ❞

     THE MELANCHOLIC FEELING of missing home was waved away the moment she realized that she wasn’t alone, & she swung her legs to the side, slipping her bookmark into the book in a practiced motion as she rose. 

      ❝ my apologies for not hearing you enter. i found the most wonderful book in one of the rooms here & barbara’s allowed me to borrow it! ❞

     FROM UNDER HER arm, she tookt he book & flipped it forward, allowing him to see the cover as she finished her approach. she thumbed through the pages, excitement evident in her expression, the fullness of which she didn’t realize that kaeya was seeing for the very first time.

      ❝ it contains stories from all over teyvat! some are as old as the nations themselves, while some appear to be more modern, & some–––– why are you looking at me like that? ❞

     A SMILE ON his face, a glimmer in their eye, zelda had raised her head to find herself the focus of both. considering the mischievous nature of the cavalry captain, she found herself pausing in her speech about the stories within the book, holding it against her chest as she listened. 

     THEIR RESPONSE WAS not what she had been expecting.

     FOR THE FIRST time since she had entered the grounds that day, zelda was conscious of the fact that every detail of her face was visible. she attempted to school her face into neutrality, but it did nothing to stop them from seeing the effect of her realization–––– her wide eyes, the warmth in her cheeks turning them a valberry pink, the way she suddenly seemed unable to meet his gaze. she caught the way his grin grew wider out of the corner of her eye, & she attempted to prepare herself for whatever was coming next. 

     you’re quite beautiful, you know.

     IT WAS SAID so simply, so matter–––– of––––factly, that zelda struggled to find the words to argue. instead, her jaw dropped ( only slightly, enough to show her surprise ) & the heat in her face increased, the pinkness spreading & darkening into a sharp red. it was clear she wasn’t quite sure what to do with herself after receiving such a compliment. it was written all over her face.

     LUCKILY FOR HER, kaeya saved her, prompting her to continue on about the book that still rested in her arms.

     ❝ ah–––– yes. the–––– the book––––. ❞

     THE IMAGE SHE had built up for sheik was surely crumbling right before her, but there was nothing that she could do to pick up the pieces. she would just have to hope that he wouldn’t bring it up in the company of others, & that she could handle so much as looking at him after this without feeling the mortification that accompanied remembering the event.

This would have hurt their feelings before.  They remember it, not - at - all - hazy, when they were new to this world and to Mondstadt and their boundless heart and love were yet unbroken, when they believed the very best of everyone.  When it hurt them, in a strange and distant way, that Kaeya didn’t care for him at all but saw them as nothing but a form of entertainment; something interesting to dissect, but not a person worth loving.  Lumine, who loved him so dearly (  who does, still, even if they don’t feel any longer  ) and Lumine, who is not loved in return.  It had hurt, then.

It doesn’t now.  Nothing hurts now because there’s no sensation now.  Lumine supposes that’s good.  They blink up at him, eyes never fully - opening, tired and faded and half - there and sick.  They feel drawn, gaunt and pale.  They don’t know if the actually are.  She shrugs her shoulders.

I still love you, they think.  But it wouldn’t matter if they said it, so they don’t.