#aknk analysis

The Butlers often hid their pain, a habit they have done since young, even when it’s something that aches them, they often apologize when their tears are shown in front of others.

They appreciated Aruji a lot, because it was Aruji that started to see them, the parts of them that they hid the most, the things that got choked in the back of their throat, the despair that has never been shown to others.

Because even themselves couldn’t bear to tell it to others, for they are afraid of what they might think.

Would they think less of them for their decisions?

Would they understand?

Even the Butlers themselves couldn’t forgive themselves, how would they seek forgiveness from others?

It feels like there wasn’t an oasis in the desert they trek, leaving a trail of despair wherever they walk, chained down by the weight of their heart. And they’re completely numb to the discomfort.

Ever since the Butlers met Aruji, they finally had a place to rest their hearts. Your voice that resonated inside their minds, giving them the strength to continue, the desire to live.

Whenever they have nightmares, trapped inside their despair, they would respond according to your voice, for it was your voice that saved them, to call them back to their senses.

Someone who can see through them, so much so that they couldn’t help but wish for more “selfishness”, to be together with you, they wish to be accepted by you completely, else they might be falling apart.

Even in dreams, the nightmares that replayed in their minds, the survivor’s guilt that suffocated them.

They wondered why they are the ones who continued to live.

Dolls, mementos, instruments, anything to keep them feel safe, they like to hold onto something that can make them stay sane.

The demons creep in the back of their mind, waiting for the best moments to grab them at their weakest.

Whenever they try to reach out their hands to their past precious ones, it’s still too far, they cannot reach them.

Even with Aruji, you are living in a different world than them, a concept that is beyond their understanding, yet, they still wish to do whatever it takes to reach you.

In the final line, it felt like the butlers are asking Aruji, which world do you wish to partake in. Would you stay?

Over the years they live, time is slipping past their fingertips, the butlers’ mementos piled in the storage room, each item so dear.

No matter how hard they try to hold onto the memories, they became distant, as if seeing from the window.

The nights filled with tears and memories, would be scattered away by the sun, as it is another day to keep on going.

Operating their bodies like mechanical devices, they continue on their work, as emotions are not permitted when it’s a professional setting.

If the Butlers were to demonized, or became a demon, I’m sure that the other Butlers and Aruji would still protect the demonized butler no matter what.

They would try to exhaust them, just to have them unconscious, without harming them, because they are so precious to them.

Then again, it can be a mutual standpoint, where the Butlers would always stay by Aruji’s side, no matter what you’ve became.

Even thought they knew the time with you is temporary, they would put their worries aside just to enjoy this important time with you, despite the sadness never faded from their heart. But as times go on, the butlers then realized that they wanted to stay even longer with you, just a little longer, even just a few minutes, you’re just so precious to them.

And when the words, “Which one are you?” That repeated again, referring back to the first line, are you your usual self, or are you taken over by the demon?

A question that the Butlers would constantly ask themselves, they wondered if their existence is big enough inside Aruji’s heart, that they would be worried or ached for them if they were to be gone.

A lot of them viewed their existence as someone who’s replaceable, as someone who has been treated like “tools who fight against angels”.

But when they realized that if they were to die, Aruji might not be able to take it.

And likewise, if there was anything that happened to Aruji, would the Butlers cry for Aruji, or would they follow after, just like with Boschi and Lato.

Even in dreams that are sweet, they begin to realize that the time for Goodbyes would surely be painful still.

The more desires they held inside their heart, the more painful it will become.

They lamented that they could be right beside you.

“Why couldn’t I be in your world?”

They would ask.

They could only worry for you, and wait for you to come back.

No matter how far they reach out their hands, they couldn’t hold onto you.

But even so, both you and the memories are so precious to them.