#ajryan

I haven’t posted on here in over a year, but this is one of those “things” I always want to never forget and can look back on in the future by just scrolling through my Tumblr.

With every guy I’ve dated, at some point in the relationship, we talked about our futures together. But, for some reason, having this talk with Adam right now, just fills me with butterflies - the feeling he gave me over 6.5 years ago when we just started dating.

We’ve agreed many years ago that we’d wait - to move in together, to buy a house, to get married, and to start a family. Not because we aren’t sure about our relationship - because we KNOW we want to continue spending the rest of our lives together - but because financial commitment like that isn’t something we both want yet. We want to travel together, continue working towards our careers, and experience our youth before settling down - and we don’t need a legal document of “marriage” to continue being emotionally and physically devoted to each other. A mortgage, a wedding, and starting a family are VERY financial constraining and we have not been ready to make those things a priority in our lives yet

But I’ve noticed recently that Adam’s been thinking about all those things a lot. And deep down, so have I.

After all of these years, I never feel bored of who you are. Every day, you surprise me with a new side of you that I grow to love. Especially since we fell in love so young, as we continued to grow older along side one another, we are continuously learning new things about one another. I love it. I absolutely love unraveling old parts of you and introducing myself to new parts of you. 

I am in love with the person you are and the little parts of you that I learn about daily. Your mannerisms. Your likes. Your dislikes. Your passions. Your dreams. Your fondest memories. I love picking your brain apart and teaching you parts about yourself you didn’t even know existed. 

It has been a long time since I’ve posted in this blog. A lot of amazing things have been happening in my life, but for some reason, I always end up back here, reminiscing over past memories and reflecting on how far I have come since I started this blog when I was 14 years old. It is crazy to think that that for seven years, I have poured my heart out on this blog. My whole teenage experience--from my confusing and complicated love life, to the inevitable drama that follows adolescence, to me trying to find myself--it is all here. And along the way, I met so many people who have shaped my life and helped me with my self-development. 

Because of that, I couldn’t help but want to share one more amazing memory of my life on this blog. I was hesitant at first, because it is still a small secret that not a lot of people know, but lol, let’s be honest here, nobody I know and see from a day to day basis uses Tumblr and all of the people who I do care about, talk to on a daily basis and read my Tumblr from time to time, already know. This has always been the place where I could look back on old memories and this is a memory I never want to forget. 

For those of you who are unaware (and those who doubted us), Adam and I have finally reached the three and a half year milestone in our relationship. And that day absolutely changed everything. On that day, he asked me to be his wife. You know, Adam and I have talked about this countless times. But, on that day, things were different. After visiting his family, we went on a walk by the lake during sunset. We stopped at a bench, and he went on this spiel about how much he loves me and how I’ve changed his life these last three and a half years. Then he got on one knee, and asked me to marry him. 

I was in shock--mostly because recently, we talked about how we want to go down the smart route and not get married until we are financially stable, have a home, and are ready to start a family. But apparently, he was thinking of asking me to marry him a month prior to this date. He wants me to be his wife. I, also, panicked with a million questions like: “Did you tell your parents?” “How are we going to tell my parents?” “How are we going to explain this to everyone?” “Do your siblings know?” “Does MY sister know?” And he stopped me and said “Look at you--this is a big moment in your life and you’re still thinking about everyone else in our lives. Just be happy for yourself, for once, and we will tell them all when we are ready.” He was right. So far, only our siblings and our best friends know. 

When telling our friends, we were so intimidated because we are so young. But everyone has been so supportive so far. The first person I told was one of my closest girl friends who I work with, and she was literally more excited than I was. I have never seen anyone so genuinely excited for another person. And the guys on our League team were all super excited and screamed “Finally!”. We have felt so overwhelmed by the support we have gotten by those we have told. 

On August 24, 2016, I got engaged guys, to the man of my dreams and the love of my life. The ring is also absolutely beautiful. He bought me a 925 Sterling Silver Band with Two Hearts (One which is 925 Sterling Silver & the other which is 10K Rose Gold) and Diamond Accents all around the hearts. It is absolutely beautiful, simple, and subtle enough that people who we don’t want to know won’t assume. 

I’m super excited for what this next chapter of our lives has to hold. It doesn’t feel any different physically, but I feel like we’ve entered the Honeymoon Stage of our relationship all over again. It has been super nice. Nevertheless, we want a long engagement and probably won’t be wedding planning until our late 20s - early 30s. 

People always question how we can afford to go on so many vacations while we are full time students but realistically we are just like everyone else: we work part-time jobs during the school year, we sometimes struggle with finances, and grades really are important to us. But at the same time, we want to experience the world together. If that means we have to give up some things (like Netflix monthly subscriptions, fancy dates, studying/school work on trips, etc.) to be able to afford vacations every semester, we’ll take it.