One’s true personality is revealed once he/she speaks while being emotionally charged.
When we’re emotionally charged, we fall back to automatic behaviours, such as the fight or flight instinct. Our subconscious behaviour takes over to get us out of the seemingly harmful situation.
We were emotionally charged pretty often in the past. It’s not surprising we accustom ourselves to maintain a specific vocabulary in our everyday language. And we use this vocabulary to talk to other people, as well as to ourselves.
You unconsciously use phrases like:
“I must do it” — instead of “I decide to do it”,
“It happens to me all the time” — instead of “I take responsibility for it”,
“I encounter a problem” — instead of “I challenge myself”,
“This situation sucks” — instead of “It teaches me something”,
“I have a terrible day” — instead of “I am capable of being more powerful”,
“I am ugly” — instead of “I’m unique, which makes me beautiful”,
“I am not good enough” — instead of “I will improve”,
“I can’t do it” — instead of “I’ll learn to do it”,
“Other people are better” — instead of “I have mentors that teach me”.
I don’t know you. I don’t know your situation. I’m pretty sure your emotional reactions were understandable. It’s comprehensible that you talk to yourself in this way from time to time. Don’t suppress it. But question it is as well.
Every decision is easier when made a second time. It’s easy to react the same way a second, third, or fourth time. Don’t do that. Don’t create a subconscious rhythm of destructive self-talk. Because once you maintain this thinking subconsciously, you will put your personal filter over any statement:
If someone says to you that you need to improve a specific skill, you infer you’re currently not good enough.
If someone says to you that you’re beautiful, you feel uncomfortable.
If someone talks about his achievements, you feel jealous.
All these cases have one thing in common — you feel hurt, even though the other person never intended to hurt you. You hurt yourself by your unhealed yet ignored parts that got triggered within.
It’s not the thing itself that hurts us. It’s that we refuse to deal with it. It hurts because we haven’t expended any energy to resolve it yet. We haven’t put our strength together to work on ourselves finally. In other words, we feel hurt because we feel incapable of doing anything about it.
If you feel hurt by other people, it’s time for you to accept one thing: You’re worthy enough to take care of yourself. Don’t let yourself be told anything else.
Listen to the words you say throughout the day. Take notice of your reactions. You’ll observe they’re connected and root in your thinking. How about just using a few more positive words from today on and observing what happens?
From a passionate thought, there could never grow weakness. From a loving thought, there could never grow anything else but love. Think loving, kind, and compassionate thoughts, and you will see the world starting to act differently, but accordingly.
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