#aimee.yaps

cs!beeduo are so. they feel like real people, first off. because they are both oh so very flawed. and at first glance, they seem very different. they’re not that different at all.

they both feel kind of like outsiders. because cs!tubbo feels like he’s intruding, and has been, since he moved in with cs!tommy and his family and although they treat him like family, said they want to adopt him, he feels like he’s not supposed to be there. cs!ranboo has been living with cs!niki, and although she isn’t around very much, usually at cs!puffy’s, he still feels like he’s intruding. they both do. no matter how sweetly and caring the people they live with can act, it still feels like they’re not supposed to be there

and maybe it never will. but, to each other, it feels like they’re supposed to be there. two outsiders who can’t seem to find where they think they should be, found each other in a convenience store talking about tylenol. and maybe the title of the fic in general is simply just a reminder of how they met, but it might be poetic as in they met during bad times and knew each other (tasting the bitterness of the cough syrup) but as time goes on, they’ll heal (the effects of the medicine) so maybe that’s why they met while buying fucking tylenol. maybe in the future they’ll look for tylenol together and try to stomach all of the horrible times. but maybe they’ll be alright by then and not give it much of mind.

and then one similarity. how no matter what the person who fucked them up so badly does, they miss them. they miss them like they’re a dog and the person is some type of fucking god. because when cs!schlatt dies, cs!tubbo says he needs him. but schlatt never needed him. because he has schlatt’s dna, and he is just fucking like him, drinking alcohol and being related to him. schlatt doesn’t need him. he never would. without schlatt, who exactly is cs!tubbo? he’s not himself. no, because he’s cs!schlatt. at least that’s how he thinks of it.

and then you have the parallel of cs!ranboo and cs!dream.

//MAJOR CHAPTER 30 SPOILERS.

even after cs!dream tries to KILL HIM, saying for the past two years, he’d been planning it and it would all come up to this moment, and he slams his head against the dashboard, yells at him, makes comments about cs!ranboo being crazy (when he is psychotic) and pinning him to the ground and stabbing him, bandaging him up and texting him, telling him that he killed himself and it’s cs!ranboo’s fucking fault, cs!ranboo misses him. he wants him back. he wants to be hugged by him. according to him, cs!dream was everything he had and you know why? because cs!dream gave him a purpose. taking pictures and finding out why the town is dangerous. and without that purpose, who the fuck is he? no one. because cs!dream even said that cs!ranboo is NOTHING without him. and he believes him. because for the past two years, despite being yelled at and emotionally manipulated and maybe even abused, cs!dream was there. so of course he’ll do whatever he says just because he says it.

they both miss horrible people. because they’re convinced that without them, they’re nothing. but maybe they can find something in each other. find a way to be something. together. because healing is a fucking journey, but they’ve been through hell and might still go through it, but goddamn they’re there for each other. and then you have the sweeter moments.

when they talked about religion. when they opened up about it. when cs!tubbo said, “i don’t like talking about god.” and cs!ranboo just said “okay.” and that was that. and they foreshadowed with “if there is a god, maybe it’s in this car” to when cs!ranboo had been saying “i’m god” after that dream he had in chapter 30, with cs!dream yelling at him that he’s not god and he’s delusional and cs!ranboo needs him.

and of course, my favorite. chapter 28. because cs!ranboo saying not many people call him pretty, and cs!tubbo’s reaction to be to tell him “then i’ll make sure you’re used to it.” and proceeds to call him pretty two more times that night and he has his little “realization”, as he calls it. and after cs!ranboo opens up to him about his memory, and he asks him not to pick up his phone when cs!dream is calling him, and cs!ranboo says the sunset is pretty, and cs!ranboo calls cs!tubbo the fucking sun because of “beside him, the sun says, “so are you.”” which isn’t the first time he’s done that. when they talked about getting married how cs!tubbo said he’s most likely to marry cs!ranboo rather then anyone else. and how cs!ranboo whispered “i’d marry you.” and how cs!tubbo went on a spiel of how cs!ranboo would be a good husband. and then when cs!ranboo said he’d name a star after cs!tubbo if he had the money, because he thinks it would make him smile. and when cs!tubbo thought that he would run away, and that cs!ranboo would stay here and have a good life but he wants to ask him to run away with him.