Send me a 💫 and I’ll set my music player on random. I’ll then pick my favorite line from the song that comes on, and write a ficlet based on it.
Where'd the wonder go? Traded magic for a measured hope. / Traded dreamin' for a worn out road, I'm tired of bein' in control
-needtobreathe, Child Again
Daichi looked tired. It wasn't that much of a surprise; they were all tired, to one extent or another. But Aiichirou looked at Daichi and he saw the exhaustion hanging from his shoulders like a cloak made of iron and he ached for him. There wasn't much Aiichirou could do but set an extra cup of coffee down on the table as he slid into the booth beside Daichi.
"Why are you sitting next to me, you weirdo?" Even the quip was tired, worn and frayed around the edges like a cloth that had been mended too many times. Aiichirou didn't answer, just leaned his head against Daichi's shoulder.
"You and I," he said slowly, quietly, "have lost something along the way."
"What did we lose?" Aiichirou knew that Daichi was playing along. Aiichirou couldn't really remember the last time Daichi played, though, the last time he goofed off for no reason other than the delight he could bring himself through it.
"Magic," Aiichirou replied. Daichi hummed, a sign for Aiichirou to continue, not quite energetic enough to be a question. "We used to think the world was ours for the taking. We saw mountains as challenges, as something to climb to see the other side. Walls weren't barriers, they were secrets ready to be uncovered. Now, what?"
"Now we're old," Daichi said. Aiichirou shook his head.
"I'm not even thirty yet," he pointed out. "You're only thirty-three. We're not old enough to be this worn down." Daichi said nothing, but Aiichirou could all but feel him thinking. "Remember when we met, and you were supposed to be this sturdy, responsible RA, but the first night all us first-years were in the dorms, you started a floor-wide Nerf gun fight?"
"I remember cleaning up all those Nerf darts," Daichi said, but there was a laugh in his voice, a lightness that Aiichirou had been yearning for.
"I remember cleaning them up with you," Aiichirou said. "I know you did it to make us all feel more at ease, more okay with being away from home. I know that it was a responsible thing to do. But I remember watching you take out Ito-kun. You had this manic look in your eye, and you were laughing. Laughing, Daichi." He took a breath that felt entirely too heavy, sliding his hand down the length of Daichi's arm to rest atop the back of his palm. "This town is killing us," he murmured.
Daichi didn't argue that, like he might have before. He just flipped his hand over to twine their fingers together, playing with Aiichirou's thumb in a long silence before he sighed. "It's not like we can do anything about that now," he said.
Aiichirou sat slowly upright, his eyes on the window. On the other side, he could see the pickup truck that Daichi had gotten from his father, a graduation gift just over ten years before. Daichi had been talking about trading it in on something more economical, a sedan with good gas mileage, but Aiichirou looked at it now and couldn't help the thoughts churning in his mind. That pickup truck had a shell for the bed. Shelter, enough space for both of them to lie down in if they filled it with pillows and blankets and maybe a mattress pad. The cab wasn't the largest, but if they packed up carefully, they could fit the things they needed easily enough. "Why can't we do anything?" Aiichirou asked, eyes still on that pickup truck, which was looking more and more like a ticket the longer he stared at it.
Daichi followed Aiichirou's line of sight, and he went still. Aiichirou could feel him thinking, could hear the way he turned the thoughts over in his mind, looking at each one like one of those rocks or feathers he'd pick up on the hikes they took while Aiichirou was in college, before they had slowed down so much. He turned to look at Aiichirou, and Aiichirou looked at him in return.
"We have savings," Daichi said slowly. Aiichirou nodded.
"The only thing I can see trouble with is getting out of the lease," he said.
"Hamada-san loves you. You could convince her of anything."
"We could just. Pack up. Wouldn't need to buy too much. Sell what we don't need, use that for fuel and food, maybe even use it to pay off the lease."
"Where would we go?" Aiichirou could see the grown-up in Daichi's eyes, battling to take over, to stop them on this foolish quest. He could also see Daichi, the boy he'd been once, the boy who still believed in wonder and joy and beauty, keeping the grown-up at bay for the moment. He squeezed Daichi's hand.
"Wherever we want," Aiichirou said. "Pick a direction. We'll just drive."
"There's only so much island for us to cover."
"So when we reach the ocean we'll sell the truck and get on a plane. Or put the truck on a boat." Aiichirou leaned closer to Daichi. "Go on an adventure with me," he breathed.
The echo had Daichi's breath going sharp for just a moment. Those were the first words Daichi had said to Aiichirou, the words he'd used to ask Aiichirou on a date that he hadn't realized was a date from Daichi's perspective until they'd already been on five of them. Those were the words Daichi had used to ask Aiichirou to move in with him. Those were words that Aiichirou hadn't heard in too long.
How had they let themselves grow so still?
"Okay," Daichi said, and it sounded a little like trust and a little like hope and a little like terror. Just like it had sounded when Aiichirou had accepted Daichi's invitation the first time, all those years before. "When do we leave?"
"How long do you need to pack up?" Aiichirou asked. "To quit your job, for me to quit mine? To sell the furniture and email Hamada-san?"
"If we work fast?" Daichi hummed, and god, there it was. That spark of mischief, of challenge, in Daichi's eyes, reigniting. "Two, three days."
"We need to tell some people where we're going, too," Aiichirou said.
"We don't know where we're going." Daichi giggled, actually fucking giggled, and Aiichirou was over the moon already. He grinned at Daichi and Daichi grinned back.
"That's what we'll tell them," he said. "You know Suga-san is gonna be thrilled about that."
"He'll definitely approve," Daichi agreed. "Okay." He took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and glanced at the truck one more time. "Let's go home and get started."
"Let's go," Aiichirou agreed, and he clambered out of the booth, tugging Daichi behind him, laughing, onto the street and into the rest of their lives.
