#ahsaka

I was up for the Assistant Manager position at my work. Which, for many reasons, kind of made me feel like a piece of shit. But, I also worked really hard for it.. And do feel like I've pretty much been doing the work (but have not necessarily been the only one doing all the work, as a lot of responsibility has always fallen on other co-worker(s))

It has come down to the point, if I take my position (which was already given to me), other important people will leave... And therefore make my job very difficult.

I have had a very hard and important decision to make, that in all honesty, has ripped me to pieces.

A decision that, for others, was not difficult.

I have put my life on hold for this job (as has everyone else), and pushed towards a goal I thought was manageable and obtainable. I wanted nothing more than to be /blessed, in a way/ with a position I could use for good, and for change.

I am so heartbroken, to have to put myself back into a position where I am limited, and ultimately unhelpful... But the biggest question is, is this really worth my sanity and emotional pain?

I believe its time to draw a line, and keep my ground. I am important. I am a hard worker. I am not a bad person.