#agps

the article starts off as describing an insecure, autistic child. one who couldnt fit in with the other boys well, which isnt odd for people describing their transition amongst both trans people and detransitioners

and then we jump right into stealing his moms clothes and also viewing a girl he knew as a different version of himself. which is.. concerning

ah..

thats the thing though. in other parts of the article he explains that he didnt like the woman hatred in the trans community, and althought this is a less common version of it, this type of extreme worshipping fixation to the point of wanting to become the object of your desires is still really really creepy

and upon hearing that, he avoids it, because it 'fills him with distress'. ofc youd be distressed because its a harsh reality. i felt distressed questioning if i should detransition, if all this gender stuff was fake. but instead of listening or self reflecting or anything like that, he just recommits to it. gets mad, avoids, and keeps going on this path

like i said, he knows what he is, but instead of reflecting on the supposed radfems that told him it was harmful, he finds the place that affirms it for him. dodging and internal sense of guilt and shame for somethign they still want to pursue

Like... idk i write this blog because i think dysphoria and transition can be monstrous. No matter whet your reasons for transitioning the more i read about everything the more i know that its a beast that is never satisfied, because you are trying to become something you are not. and so every time you do anything and see a bit of your natural self, one that is inherently male or female, you feel distress. and it leads you do doing the most extreme surgeries in hopes that that feeling will go away

you cannot avoid your body forever. you cannot tear and shred bits of yourself away until you can no longer find yourself under the rubble. you will always see signs of the body you wish you didnt have. this isnt a cure its avoidance

no matter how many different pieces you rip yourself into, your are no less yourself than when you were whole. each of those pieces is still you, just now detached.

but people get so so attached to their avoidance, their addictions, their fixations they think are their only source of pleasure or hope. they dismiss all criticism as a direct attack on their value as a person. no matter how much we share things about the dangers of SRSs and HRT, only sincerely a very very experienced psych professional can work to heal a mind stuck in this state.

i have sympathy for the hurt child he describes at the beginning, but i dont have any for the man that avoided all concerns of the women he wants to accept him in search for affirmation from another source.

affirmation doesnt fix anything. it just makes them feel less distressed for the moment