#agnes!gate

Inspired by @codewordpumpkin.

It's 2 days after Lizzie dies in Red's arms that the manila envelope gets to him. It takes him another day and a glass of scotch before he can open it because he just knows by the writing on the outside that it's from her.

One last message from beyond the grave. That makes his heart absolutely sink into his chest, not because she left him a letter, but because it's something that he would have done for her. It's a bleak reminder that he shaped Lizzie into the person she became, that he was ultimately responsible for her demise.

He finally works up the courage to pull out the paper inside the envelope. He can see that the first page is a handwritten note.

Red,

If you’re reading this, then you failed. Your lifelong mission to keep me safe was a failure. All the lies and secrets you kept were a pointless waste of time that did nothing but cause me pain and ultimately lead to my dead.

Yes, Red, you caused me so much pain. I need you to know this. You came into my life and absolutely destroyed it. Almost everyone I’ve ever loved has died as a result of your decision to turn yourself into the FBI. You dangled bits of truth in front of me, just enough to keep me desperate to have you in my life, and that was my downfall.

You ultimately drove me into the darkness. I need you to understand all of this because I don’t want you to do the same thing to her. Agnes is the only light left in my life.

I finally understand what you meant when you told me that night that I was your way home. Agnes was always my way home, and now she is yours. You see, Red, some time ago I found out the truth, the truth that you tried to take from me. I know what we did on that container ship. I think that’s part of the reason I was so desperate to find out who you really were to me, because of Agnes. I never wanted Agnes to wonder about where she came from her entire life like I did.

I wanted to be able to tell her the truth about her father, and I couldn’t very well tell her that the he was some man who stole MY father’s identity and even let me believe that he was my father after we made her.

I don’t want our daughter to feel the same way I did. She’s so kind and loving. I don’t ever want her to embrace the darkness like I did. That’s why I’m writing you this letter. You have to do things different with her. You can’t dangle pieces of the truth in front of her and expect her not to go desperately searching for the rest. You have to tell her truth that you never could tell me.

You’re all she has now. I know that you’ll love her and protect her with every last piece of your soul and destroy yourself in the process, but you have to do more than that. You have to take care of yourself too. You have to the person that never lies to her, never withholds the truth. She’s a strong girl, Red, she can handle it.

And please, tell her about me. Tell her the good parts… and the bad. Let her learn from my mistakes, from our mistakes. Most importantly, just let her be herself. Let her make her own choices about her life. Let her make her own mistakes. Don't try to control her life like you did mine.

You two are going to take very good care of each other. I wish I could be there to see it. Just know that I everything I did, I did for her. I'm sorry that I couldn't be there to watch your relationship with her blossom. I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you this truth sooner, I guess we both weren't very good at being honest with each other.

I really did love you, Red. Take care of our baby girl.

Lizzie

The tears are streaming down his face by the time he gets to the end of the letter. His hands are shaking so much that they reveal a second sheet of paper. He slowly reveals a DNA test from years ago, from a lab in the middle of nowhere Alaska. There is no denying that Agnes is his daughter.

And his heart shatters into a million more tiny pieces over what could have been if he and Lizzie had done better and not kept secrets from each other.

Chapters: 21/? Fandom: The Blacklist (US TV), Blacklist, The Blacklist Rating: Mature Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Elizabeth Keen/Donald Ressler, Elizabeth Keen/Raymond Reddington, Raymond Reddington/Donald Ressler Characters: Agnes Keen, Raymond Reddington, Donald Ressler Additional Tags: Mentions of Cancer, Cancer, Resslington, Male Slash Summary:

Following Liz's death, Donald Ressler sets out to raise Agnes. Meanwhile, Ressler and Reddington's relationship grows in unexpected ways (TW: Resslington).

From Feeling Another Human's Touch Prompt

33. Tasting Their Smile

[ So, I'm not very good at writing fluff. It feels out of character to me, but here's my best shot. ]

The last 5 days have been the most absolutely exhausting days of her life, and it's entirely her fault. She told Red that she needed time. She told him that she needed to think about what happens next. She needed these first few days alone, just her and Agnes.

Truth be hold, she hadn't really thought about what would happen after their daughter was born. Her entire pregnancy they ignored the elephant in the room aka the baby he put inside her. They were stubborn. Nothing new there.

But this was new. A baby. The two of them being parents, irrevocably tied together by a tiny little human that they were now tasked with caring for, loving, and protecting. It was all so overwhelming, and of course Liz did what she does best. She ran. Not to other country or even another state, but she ran nonetheless.

It wasn't until day 5, hair in knots, baby vomit on her shirt, that she called Red crying in defeat.

"I need you to come over. She won't stop crying." Agnes was wailing in the background as Liz spoke to Red.

To her surprise, he was there within 10 minutes, knocking on the door.

Agnes will still screaming in Liz's arms when she opened the door to a slightly perturbed Red.

"She's fed and changed, but still won't stop screaming. Red, she won't sleep." Liz put Agnes into Red's arms, not even waiting to gauge his reaction to seeing his daughter for only the second time.

"I just need sleep. A couple of hours. Please." She begs. "I don't care what you do, just keep her safe. I'm going to sleep."

Red looks down at the baby in his arms with a mixture of horror and happiness. "Ok." He responds softly.

"Diaper bag is on the sofa with everything you'll need. If anybody so much as looks at her funny, shoot them." Liz says seriously before leaving Red and Agnes alone while she gets some much-needed sleep that has alluded her for nearly a week.

Liz drifts into a peaceful sleep as Agnes and Red go for a walk around the block. It takes some time, but Red eventually calms his daughter down enough to go back to Liz's apartment, but he can't bring himself to wake Liz.

It's hours later when Liz finally emerges from her bedroom, fully rested. The sight she sees playing out in front of her absolutely melts her heart.

Red is protectively watching over a sleeping Agnes in her bassinet. That in itself itself isn't surprising. No, it's the huge smile that he has on his face. In the years that she's known him, he's never smiled like this. Sure, he's flashed his fair share of charming smirks, but this was different. This smile was so pure and genuine, full of carefree, blissful happiness.

And suddenly, as she watched him watch their daughter with that smile on his face, a smile that warmed her entire body like sunshine on a warn summer day, she couldn't help what she did next.

She strut right up to him, grabbed his cheeks between her palms and captured that delectable smile in between her lips.

When she finally pulled away, his smile was even bigger, if that was even possible.

"What was that for?" He questions.

"Because I needed to taste your smile."

[ Smut + Angsty Lizzington + Agnesgate + a not-so-happy ending for Red. You've been warned. ]

Liz is moving her hips back and forth, chasing her own release. Red is enjoying the view almost as much as he’s enjoying her riding his cock. He doesn’t have a care in the world until Liz does THE *thing* that drives him crazy and time just stands still.

He freezes because he knows exactly how she knows to do that. He told her that night they spent together on the run. The night Agnes was conceived. The night she discovered his secrets. The night he stole from her memories like the thief he really is.

Suddenly the illusion is s h a t t e r e d.

Liz sees it in his eyes. The shock. The horror. The sheer terror of being caught, and it turns her own even more. The power she has over him in this moment is the greatest feeling in the world. She’s finally bested him at his own game. She's finally won.

A devious, soul-crushing smile spreads across her face, but her hips keep up their movement, even as she feels his cock starting to soften inside of her. She’s not done taking what she wants from him yet.

She knows what he’s done, knows who he is. She knows everything, and she’s known for a while, long enough to plan her next move with the kind of thought and precision that he’d be so proud of.

It’s why she really tried to blow him up. It’s why she ran when he didn’t die, and why she stayed away, all the while plotting her sweet revenge.

“Elizabeth.” He croaks out. His mouth is dry.

“Shhh, we’re almost at the end now.”

She arches her body and leans backwards. She rests her hands on his thighs for leverage.

“I need you to touch me, Red. You know how I like it.”

He gulps, but he brings his fingers to her clit, using just the right amount of pressure and rhythm. He remembers all too well what she likes. Some nights when he closes his eyes, he can picture her guiding his fingers to show him.

“Yes. God, yes. Don’t stop. I’m so close.” She grinds her hips against him faster, faster, faster, and then….

“Oh, yes! Red!” She moans out as her orgasm overtakes her body.

She rides it out with slow circular motions of her hips. Red’s cock is completely soft by the time she’s finished with it.

He doesn’t come anywhere close to his release. He’s too preoccupied with the sick, sinking feeling of dread and remorse that has taken over his body. He wants to die.

Part of him is sure that there’s already a hole dug somewhere, just waiting for his cold, lifeless body to be dropped in.

“You have no idea how much I needed that, Red. I’ve been chasing this ghost feeling for years, never quite sure what exactly I was looking for.... but I've finally found it again.”

She pushes her long brown locks out of her face. She lets Red’s cock slip out her, but she doesn’t move to get off of him. Instead, she just stares down at him with wide eyes and a smirk.

“When?” He questions.

She trails a hand down his chest, lightly scratching him with her nails.

“You know exactly when, Red. You felt the day everything changed between us, even if you tried to ignore. It was the same day I finally met my mother. The day your best friend spilled all of your secrets. The day I started planning to take you down once and for all.”


He’s starting to get uncomfortable. He feels like there’s a weight on his chest that’s crushing him. Lizzie’s small body on top of him is making his entire body burn and sweat. He doesn’t want to be here anymore. He needs to run. His body is telling him to run. He needs to get the fuck out of here before his heart beats out of his chest.

“What’s wrong, Red? Not feeling so well?”

His eyes widen. Realization hits him for the second time tonight.

“Lizzie, what have you done?”

He can feel his throat starting to tighten and his vision begin to get blurry.

“Shhh, I told you that we were almost at the end.”

She reaches down to cup his cheek.

“It really didn’t have to end this way, Red. You could have just told me the truth. We could have raised our daughter together. We could have been partners in the criminal underworld, but you never saw me for what I truly was. You only ever saw someone you needed to control and protect.”


“Lizzie, please, you can’t keep doing this.”

“It’s already done, Red. The poison is already in your system. Your organs are shutting down. In a few minutes your heart will have given out.”

“I didn’t want this for you.”

“I know you didn’t, but you don’t get to make decisions about my life anymore.”

“I just wanted to keep you safe.”

“And that’s exactly what you’re going to do. You might die here tonight, but Raymond Reddington is very much going to live on.”

Red gasps at the realization and also at the fact that the loud beating in his ears has finally quieted.

“I did love you, Lizzie….”

His words trail off and his eyes flutter closed.

“Goodbye, Red.” She places one last kiss on his lips.

Liz quietly dresses. She picks up the fedora on her way out.

On her quest for the truth about Red, Liz discovers an even bigger truth about Agnes.