#aggressivespellcrafting

ALRIGHT, WELL, HONESTLY IF HE ISN'T OVER HER I WANT YOU TO ASK YOURSELF; IS IT WORTH YOUR DAMN TIME TO WAIT, OR IS IT WORTH YOUR TIME TO DEAL WITH 'REMINDING' HIM OF HIS EX? PERHAPS HE IS NOT READY FOR YOUR LOVELY ASS. PERHAPS HE NEEDS TO FUCKING GET OVER HIS EX BEFORE HE TRIED TO BE WITH SOMEONE ELSE. OFTEN PEOPLE THINK THAT THE BEST WAY TO GET OVER SOMEONE IS TO GET UNDER SOMEONE ELSE.

NO. FUCKING. NO. 

HERE'S SOME SHIT YOU WILL NEED:

PEN AND PAPER

SCISSORS

FREEZER

NOW, YOU CAN GO ABOUT THIS TWO FUCKING WAYS. BOTH SHOULD DO THE FUCKING TRICK BUT YOU SHOULD PICK WHICH ONE WILL FUCKING SUIT THE SITUATION BEST:

YOU CAN DRAW HIM AND HER AND YOU ALL IN A LINE AND CUT HER AWAY AND FREEZE HER.

OR

YOU CAN WRITE '(INSERT BOYFRIEND'S NAME HERE) HAS FEELINGS FOR (EX)' ON ONE HALF OF THE PAPER AND ON THE OTHER HALF WRITE '(INSERT BOYFRIEND'S NAME HERE) HAS FEELINGS FOR ME' AND CUT THE PAPER IN HALF. THEN FUCKING FREEZE THE HALF TALKING ABOUT THE EX AND KEEP THE HALF ABOUT YOU SOMEWHERE SAFE. 

THAT SOUNDS LIKE A FUCKING SPECTACULAR IDEA! 

I WOULD EITHER MAKE A FUCKING WALL OR BARRIER OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO FUCKING SYMBOLIZE PROTECTION OF YOUR LITTLE SIBLING.

ALSO, YOU COULD TIE A PAIR OF FUCKIN OPEN SCISSORS TO THEIR DOOR TO 'CUT OFF' ANY NASTY-ASS NEGATIVE ENERGY DIRECTED AT THE CHILD.

FIRST OFF, EMBRACE THAT AWKWARD SHIT BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T IT JUST BECOMES A FUCKING HASSLE.

DO YOU. IF THIS FUCK DOESN'T GIVE YOU A CHANCE THEN HE IS A FUCKING SILLY GOOSE.

I HAVE A LOVELY SIMPLE SPELL FOR THIS FUCKING SITUATION. YOU'LL NEED THIS SHIT:

YELLOW CANDLE

WATER

BOWL

TURN THE WATER INTO A WHIRLPOOL SORT OF THING.

PLACE THE CANDLE IN THE BOWL OF MOVING WATER.

LIGHT THE FUCKING CANDLE ON FIRE. 

CHANT THE FOLLOWING 

"KNOW I MOVE TO YOU, AS YOU MOVE TO ME, AS I THINK OF YOU, THINK ALSO OF ME, AS I CALL YOUR NAME, CALL ME TO YOU, FRIENDSHIP DOES GROW, GROW THROUGH ME TO YOU."

THISSHOULDDOTHETRICK.

Someone I care about greatly has some racial views that are ignorant. Is there something I can do to open up their mind?

UGH WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE YOU LOVE AND THEIR FUCKING CLOSED VIEWS SOMETIMES. IT REALLY SUCKS. I UNDERSTAND. I KNOW THAT FEEL.

HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED TO GATHER:

QUARTZ PRISM

SPOON

DRINKING WATER

NOW, THE NEXT TIME THAT FUCKER IS AROUND YOU AND HAS A BEVERAGE. OFFER TO GET IT FOR THEM.

TAKE THE PRISM AND HOLD IT IN YOUR HAND SAY THE FOLLOWING: 'OPEN YOUR EYES, OPEN YOUR MIND, LOOK THROUGH ALL OF THE JUDGMENTAL LIES'

SET THE PRISM IN THERE.

POUR THE DRINK IN IT.

FUCKING DIG THE PRISM OUT OF THAT LIQUID WITH A SPOON.

OKAY SO MY MOTHER WAS RAPED A FEW NIGHTS AGO AND FOR VARIOUS REASONS SHE REFUSES TO PRESS CHARGES. ANY WAY I CAN GIVE THIS GUY WHAT'S COMING TO HIM?

TO BE COMPLETELY FUCKING HONEST ANON, THERE IS NO SPELL OR CURSE OR EVEN FUCKING TORTURE DEVICE THAT CAN GIVE HIM WHAT IS COMING TO HIM. 

IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE THE LOW-LIFE FUCK NEEDS JAIL TIME AND I HIGHLY RECOMMEND A RESTRAINING ORDER AT THE LEAST.

PLEASE BE SUPPORTIVE AND HELPFUL TO YOUR MUM. SHE NEEDS YOU VERY MUCH RIGHT NOW.

~Bloom

if anyone can think of anything to add to this please do.

I WOULD PERSONALLY REPORT HIM MYSELF EVEN IF MY MOTHER DIDN'T WANT TO GO IN HERSELF. IT WOULDN'T DO TOO MUCH, BUT IT WOULD PUT HIS NAME ON THE RADAR AT THE VERY LEAST.

FOR THAT FUCKER, I'D PULL OUT SOME OF MY WORST. IF YOU'RE UP TO IT, HERE'S SOMETHING YOU CAN DO.

MATERIALS

graveyard dirt (can be from a pet's grave if that makes you feel more comfortable)

cobwebs

insect husks (primarily spiders would be best, but whatever you can find)

cayenne pepper

spit

dried feces (dog would be easiest to nab, but you can get creative like scraping off bird droppings or getting cat feces instead)

rust (have a rusty nail then use something like a square of sandpaper to get the rust shavings)

snake fangs (coming from a venomous snake is best. you don't need to worry about crushing this into a powder unless you're able)

single drop of alcohol

pin or needle

black cloth to make a poppet

ON THE INSIDE OF THE POPPET, WRITE DOWN THE VICTIM'S NAME THREE TIMES. DRAW A CIRCLE AROUND IT. STUFF THE POPPET WITH THE ABOVE MATERIALS, THEN SEW IT CLOSED. ON THE FIRST DAY (OF MAKING THE POPPET), TIE ITS LEGS TOGETHER: "Your legs are bound so you cannot escape punishment". ON THE SECOND DAY, TIE ITS ARMS TOGETHER: "Your arms are bound so you cannot escape punishment". ON THE THIRD DAY, TIE ITS NECK: "Your voice is bound so you cannot escape punishment". ON THE FOURTH, STICK THE NEEDLE/PIN THROUGH THE HEAD: "Your actions and thoughts are the death of you". ON THE FIFTH, BURY THE POPPET DEEP IN THE GROUND AS CLOSE AS YOU CAN AT A SITE WHERE UNFORTUNATE THINGS HAVE BEEN EXPERIENCED/SEEN (E.G. A SIDE OF THE ROAD WHERE A LETHAL CAR ACCIDENT HAPPENED, ETC). 

COULD YOU GIVE A SPELL/CHARM TO HELP MAKE FRIENDS WITH A CERTAIN PERSON?? I want to become friends with this one guy, so right now I'm making reasons to talk to him (asking to borrow a pencil, asking him when stuff, asking for help) and soon I plan on moving to *actual* casual conversation, but I was hoping for a spell or charm to *help* with catching his attention :D Any help is much appreciated.

HEY THERE. SOMETIMES STARTING CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE IS REALLY FUCKING HARD, AND HERE'S SOMETHING TO HELP YOU ENCOURAGE FRIENDSHIP WITH THIS CERTAIN PERSON.

YOU SHALL NEED THIS SHIT:

PEN AND PAPER

YELLOW CANDLES

WHITE CANDLE

BROWN CANDLE

STRING

FIRST, SET THOSE MOTHERFUCKING CANDLES ON FIRE. SLAM THE YELLOW CANDLES RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER, LIKE FUCKING TOUCHING. PLACE THE BROWN AND WHITE OUTSIDE OF THEM. TIE THE STRING IN A FUCKING TIGHT AS FUCK KNOT AROUND THE YELLOW CANDLES.

NOW, SCRIBBLE THEIR FUCKING NAME ON THE PAPER, AND THEN 'GROWS A FRIENDSHIP WITH: YOUR NAME'.

LET THE CANDLES BURN AND AS THEY DO FOLD THAT DAMN PAPER AND THEN SEAL IT WITH THE WAX OF EACH MOTHERFUCKING CANDLE. 

BURY YOUR PAPER.

GOOD LUCK.

I need something to FUCKING CRUSH WRITER'S BLOCK. IT'S BEEN PLAGUING ME FOR MONTHS. LIKE MY BRAIN'S TURNED INTO A ROCK.

THIS IS A REAL SIMPLE CHANT YOU CAN DO BEFORE WRITING. 

SIT DOWN AT YOUR DESK OR SPOT YOU WRITE MOST IN AND CHANT:

'GIVER OF WORDS AND CREATIVITY, BESTOW YOUR GIFTS UPON ME NOW SO THAT CREATIVITY MAY FLOW FROM ME.'

DO THIS EVERY DAY UNTIL YOU START TO GET SOME INSPIRATION.

I'm so strung out between school, social life, volenteering, work and spirituality. Do you have a spell that could help revamp my energy levels or at least calm things down long enough to relax on my own?

WELL HELLO THERE YOU BUSY BEE YOU. BEFORE I GIVE YOU THE FUCKING SPELL, REMEMBER; IT IS OKAY TO GIVE YOURSELF A DAY OF REST AND IF YOU EVER FEEL YOU NEED IT, TAKE IT.

HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL NEED:

THREE WHITE CANDLES

MINT

SALT

CLOVE

LAVENDER

SIT ON THE GROUND OUTSIDE IN THE DARK. TAKE THE MINT, SALT, CLOVE, AND LAVENDER AND KINDA SPREAD THEM OUT IN FRONT OF YOU. THEN TAKE THE CANDLES AND SET ONE ON EITHER SIDE OF YOU AND ONE THE THE VERY FUCKING FRONT. 

SET THE CANDLES ON FUCKING FIRE.

NOW, IMAGINE ALL THE ENERGY YOU HAVE LEFT IN YOU DRAINING OUT OF YOU, INTO THE GROUND, SPREADING OUT INTO THE EARTH. AND THEN IMAGINE YOURSELF TAKING IN THE ENERGY OF THE FIRE FROM YOUR CANDLES. PURE. CLEAN. ENERGY. SOAK THAT SHIT UP. ONCE THE CANDLES ARE BURNT OUT, LEAVE AND DO NOT LOOK BACK AND CLEAN UP THE NEXT FUCKING DAY.