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thatās really it cracked my own egg folks---halwn has certain methods of emotional withdraw but they arenāt rooted in a fear of looking weak or a hesitance to open himself etc it really comes from an instilled belief in his early youth by his parents and by a religious upbringing that asking for attention and affection and love from others is selfish, that itās an imposition, that itās taking from other people and complicating their lives, and the only justifiable and decent way to get affection and attention is to try to earn it through your support of them and then wait silently until someone has the time / energy / desire to offer it to you---and yes this is party being respectful, partly being altruistic and understanding and empathetic and generous, but part of it is also self-protective because that affection never really came from his parents apart from small moments with his mother and the shame of asking for something and not getting it, the shame that comes from being told that it was selfish or inconvenient to ask in the first place and he should know better, conditioned him to /not/ ask for fear of that shame and for the genuine fear of being a burden, and he carries that with him subconsciously in his own actions even though he would and does fiercely encourage others to reject shame, any shame, and call out for their needs
his sexuality further complicates these qualities because of the very real and simple fact that it makes the idea that his affections, and his attraction, are an inconvenience and even a threat to the object of that affection, more literal and visceral. thatās why he usually waits for the other party to make the first move despite the fact that he genuinely loves courting / flirting / being a dumbass romantic, and absolutely becomes the āwooerā when unleashed---because he always interprets the initial motion of actively pursuing someone asĀ ācomplicatingā their lives, or imposing his romantic attention on them, under the presumption that theĀ ācomplicationā will not be worth it to them even if they are clearly attracted to or interested in him
our girl deserves better so do angie yonaga
Oh my god she really does.
ANGIE IS TREATED SO FUCKING WRONGLY.
The narrative and framing are just so fucking unfair to Angie and it really pisses me off because she legit feels misrepresented more often not. And thatās just fucking rude.
Angie is explicitly referred to as manipulative but like⦠Her actualĀ āmanipulationsā arenāt really leading people into doing what they otherwise WOULD NEVER fucking do like both Gonta and Kiibo clearly want the killings to stop and itās not fucking like anyone else has any better ideas on how to go about doing that. Or any ideas at all, lbr. And Tsumugi is likeā¦clearly just going along with it becauseā¦yāknow.
As for Himiko, their relationship is seriously fine. Like Angie is legit trying to help Himiko find a peace of mind and a sense of direction where Himiko has like, none. Yes, it enables Himiko to be more passive and whatever but thatās more of Himikoās own issues rather than anything Angieās doing. And added to that, people forget that Angie DOESNāT just let Himiko sit back and do fucking nothing when the situation calls for the opposite as she immediately speaks up on Himiko being suspicious as hell in the Chapter 2 trial and points out, rightfully, that this is something Himiko needs to clear up. Something Himiko refuses to do. Again, not Angieās fault. Sheās actually trying to help and be supportive, but gets demonized because⦠Racism, letās be real. (Yes, even if Angieās writing in places is the result of racist stereotyping, she clearly is still getting mistreated based on the fact that sheāsĀ āforeign and weirdā. Letās not kid ourselves here.)
One other thing about Angie is that she actually is like, really incredibly reasonable. Pretty much every call she makes in Chapter 3 is logically sound and intelligent. She doesnāt trust Saiharaās group because said group includes Maki, the remorseless killer for hire. She destroys the flashlight because they disrupt the groupās harmony (and theyāre built to do exactly that seeing as the memories are revealed to be fake down the line). Sheās stricter on the group because she wants any would-be murderers to be restrained in what they could do with nighttime surveillance and less opportunity for anything unsavory. A lot of people get onto her for being ~controlling~ butā¦seriously? Isnāt that incredibly unfair? The situation is already really extreme and itās not like sheās endangering them, likeā¦the opposite? If anything itās just inconvenient for the time being considering this lasts all of likeā¦three days.
People really are so unfair to Angie, urgh. My girl is just trying her best to show support and keep everyone safe and she doesnāt get ANYONE killed so why is everyone so harsh? Itās unfair, itās just so unfair.
Angie is honestly really interesting in how sheās always cheerful in spite of the situation and how, even though sheāsĀ ācontrollingā andĀ āmanipulativeā (when tbh she really isnāt that bad, the narrative just claims she is because weāre meant to distrust her and thatās just shitty) sheās usually on the right track. Sheās very intelligent and understands that the situation is dangerous but rather than letting paranoia consume her, she instead tries to make a safe environment for the others, including those she doesnāt trust and is aware that they donāt trust her, either. While she is still a little self-centered, sheās clearly trying to point her interests in the direction of the groupās well-being during the killing game rather than just trying to benefit herself directly. It would have been easy, for instance, for her to turn the group on Tenko after Tenko is discovered to be snooping around, but⦠She doesnāt. Instead she wants Tenko to still feel like she could be included even though sheās likely aware that Tenko hates her.
Sheās a weird mixture of selfish and selfless and this is probably due to the writing in general not being that great, but I still find her incredibly interesting and engaging when itās likeā¦not clearly just there to be offensive. This is why she ended up being my favorite in spite of likeā¦literally everything else working against her. She really is the unspoken heroine, similar to Komaeda but likeā¦better because sheās the only one actively trying to take an active approach against potential killingsā¦and yet gets vilified for it.
Itās bullshit. It really is. ANGIE DESERVES SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER.
Thatās my defenseā¦!
???
Genosā voice is fucking with me.

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