Clown of the Year 2013

The person who came up with “I’m not gonna Raichu a love song” was a certified genius and all dudes could come up with after for a follow-up was “I’ll Machoke a bitch til she Squirtle.”

Your depression and disillusionment will hide behind objective reality and poison you from its safety. It will point at the Presidency and the Parliament and the rise of fascism and AI and the failing economy and it will say to you, See, things are worse than they were 10 years ago. Because then you won't question your belief that art is objectively worse and all people are objectively worse and you won't question why the animals you liked as a kid aren't as cool anymore and why swimming just isn't as much fun these days. You will start watching and waiting and praying for the apocalypse as a hope for an external, uncontrollable ego death. And you will reject anyone trying to help because they can't do anything to fix the Presidency or the Parliament or fascism or AI or the economy.