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These last few days have been horrible. I know you are in a better place and are probably eating as much panda and pizza you can, in my own selfish ways I wish you were here doing that with us. There are so many that care and so many that are in shock, because I know I am. I want you here Jacob, I want you to give me a hug and laugh with me. You will always been in my heart, I love you 💙 (Allie Beltran 3/7/16)
Rest in peace Jacob ¾/16 you are being missed immensely
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Frozen Time
Running into an old friend, touching their skin, stunned by the memories.Time simply does not stop because we want it to. Time stops because of the moments we want to cherish forever.
We had forever, but forever ended too soon. With every embrace and word of encouragement. With every sleepless night and soulful cry. With everyday full of laughter and cheer, these are the memories I hold on to as the days pass.Â
I know I left, and it has pained your heart, but you must understand out of all people, you; the old friend. You should understand my reason of departure. You should understand that I know things would be different if I were there; we both know this.
For it was great day, but all great days come to an end. Because there are only sixty seconds in a minute, sixty minutes in an hour, and twenty-four hours in a day. And as each second, each minute, and each hour passes my clock has stayed frozen.
-damn i missed you too muchÂ
(aeb 2/15/16)
Never read my poetry while we were together, but now reads it more than ever.
-You can laugh at it all you want, but you were my favorite hello and my hardest goodbye, but that is all you are; nothing more than a hello and a  saddening goodbye.Â
Its crazy how fast things changed. One minute I am closing the book that I have written with the person I thought loved me. And in the next I am writing a new story with a boy that is experiencing me. Learning about the grooves in my body. Asking about the scars I have, and how they got there. Asking why I have freckle on my chin, and why my brother does not. Asking why I have green eyes, and everyone has blue. Asking why I have dimples on my cheeks and why I have then on my back. Asking why I turn the other way when he says something heart felt. Asking how my last relationship ended and how it changed me. Asking about my life and how it was before I was happy. Asking about the pain in my writing. More importantly asking how he can support me, and how he can make me happier than I already am. A boy that does not want to play a game. A boy that knows what it is like to be hurt. A boy that has not had it easy, but knows how to appreciate what he has. A boy that not only wants to give me more than I deserve, but willingly gives me their all. For all these reason and many more, I have no reason to carry sadness in my bleeding heart that beats for him. -and that boy is named matthew (aeb 12/18/15) He wanted a happy poem for Christmas and I told him it was impossible and he told me he believed in me, so out came this.
Slow and steady always wins the race. You and I took our time conquering the world. Hand in hand we thrived to be and grew together. Sadly, one of us took a step in the wrong direction and went under. Now here we are growing apart and drifting away in the world we built together.
-we took the wrong step, if its meant to be will be, until then have a great life
(aeb 10/2/15)
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I cannot paint you beautiful pictures with oily fingers and sloppy paintbrushes, but I can create perfectly aligned words to mirror the thoughts of the artist.
-my art is words
(aeb 10/2/15)
Though I get stronger everyday, my body still weakens at the thought of your name. Though I loved the way your lips brushed against mine, I am trying to find that same feeling upon others. Though I miss the way our fingers entwined, I look for that sense in fingers that only trace my body with lust. I miss our bodies being tangled up in love, but now are detached from the idea of being one. I miss losing myself in the depths of the blueness in your eyes, now I chase those with similar pigments. Though I miss you, I know not to chase you. Though I still care, I know to carry on. Though I still love you, I know that people like you are only temporary for people like me. -aeb (9.8.15)
