#advising

I did get into my dream Master’s program.

I got into THE program for academic advising.

I just rewatched Orange. The best anime I've ever watched in my life. It was so heavy for me when I saw it as a 15 year old, and now that I'm older, it's really emotional to the point of crying.

I just wanted to write what this anime reminded me of.

Please, please be kind to other people. Be gentle. You never know how suicidal or heartbroken a person is. Make sure there's nobody left out. Listen when one is trying to speak. Smile when you see them. Hug them because hugging is more powerful than we believe. Include them.

I'm sorry you're going through this! Failure sucks and it's scary, but I am glad to hear you're in problem-solving mode.

What is grade forgiveness?

To be forgiven for a failing grade, you’ll need to take the class again, and you’ll need permission to take that class again.

If you pass that class the second time you take it, grade forgiveness means that your original failing grade won't count toward your GPA. Your new passing grade will count instead. Both attempts may still appear on your transcript, though, and you should look at your college's academic handbook for any other rules about how grades are forgiven.

Getting ahead of a bad grade

So, you've probably just finished midterms and maybe that gave you the clue you might fail. I'm guessing you are past the withdrawal period, but check your college's academic calendar first! (Withdrawal shows up as a W instead of an F on your transcript, and you should be able to retake. Talk to your advisor before you withdraw, and remember that technically withdrawing from a course changes the number of credit hours you're taking, which could potentially matter for you.)

Anyway, you have some time before the semester/quarter ends. Before you actually fail, go to your professor’s office hours to talk to them about what's going on and what you can do about it. Is there any way you can make up some points? How well do you have to do on assignments in the next six weeks in order to pass? (Is it mathematically possible for you to pass without making up points?) Is there anything you can do to perform better on your next assignments or exams? Or at least get some instruction you can take through the end of the course (and into a new semester if you have to take the class again)?

If you're struggling with your health (mental or physical) you can bring it up if you are comfortable doing so. You do not need to go into any details. Your professor may or may not be helpful, but you can't know until you try.

Also see this post on bouncing back from academic probation.

The forgiveness process

Make an appointment with your academic advisor ASAP. With them you want to talk about how you're doing in your classes, study habits, how a repeat class will fit into your schedule and degree plan, and the process of having your grade forgiven.

Whose permission do you need in order to retake the class?

Can you take it again right away? Can you do it over summer? What makes the most sense for you?

How do you get the grade forgiven? Do you need to fill out a form? When is that due?

What will your gpa look like in the meantime once you fail? Will there be any consequences for your gpa being lower? If you have merit scholarships, I would make sure your grade won't impact your financial aid.

To-do list:

Try to get ahead of your failing grade by talking to your professor and making the next 6 weeks count.

Look into your college's academic handbook for the rules on grade forgiveness so you know what questions to ask your advisor.

Talk to your academic advisor about the process of grade forgiveness and any adjustments you need to make to your plans.

Check on your financial aid to make sure you're meeting any academic requirements.

Address the reasons why you failed. Is it study skills? Readiness for this class? Health reasons? Reach out for help when you need it.

That is how you respond to advising. You accept it and acknowledge your shortcomings. You thank the person for their reminder, you give them a dua. Not a rude and nasty response like “mind your business/focus on yourself/only God can judge.”

A person will come up to you and advise you if they care about you. If I, for example, did not care whatever will come upon another person, why would I go out of my way and say “hey listen, maybe you should evaluate how you perform your xyz action?” I wouldn’t. And that is one of the biggest misconception of advisements, nobody is judging you, they simply want you to do better because they wish good for you. And yes, even strangers can care about you! That is the ummah, we look out for one another and help each other succeed. We are united under la ilaha illallah muhammadur-rasoolallah and are brothers and sisters. We love to see each other become better versions of themselves.

If someone advises on a matter you are genuinely working on then don’t get upset, they are still being genuine, either gracefully accept the advice or say “thank you, I am actually working on bettering myself in this regard, have you got any tips to help?”

As Mufti Menk once said: who are the people who ask you to correct yourself the most? Your parents! Why? Because they care and wish well for you. Same logic.

And as a Muslim, it is our duty to enjoin righteousness, so who are you to say not to?

Change your mindset, don’t assume people are judging you, they are coming with goodness to you. They are only saying it for your benefit to make your akhirah better.

However, I will acknowledge that some people do a horrible job at advising and do actually judge and think themselves as being better. These people lack adab and are not practicing the religion correct themselves but still take and acknowledge their advice. Their advice can still be of benefit to you. Most people are truly genuine in their advice but there are rotten eggs everywhere, they’re unavoidable but alhumdulilah they are the minority.