Here are your first few sentences, so you know it's you!
Huh, how do you always find such good advice? Isn't it sometimes overwhelming to advise so many people? I myself have a group of friends whom I often advise, but sometimes I don't know how to do it.
Honestly, I'm just...honest, lol. It definitely can get overwhelming but I've learned to set boundaries and that helps a LOT. I think it also helps that this is online because I have the freedom to keep those boundaries a lot easier, with less consequences. I can delete things, ignore them when I need to, and I have some separation and ability to turn off the computer. It's much different with your friends. It's not that I don't care (I care so much), but I don't know any of you IRL, so I'm able to keep some separation.
It makes sense that it's harder with friends, because you see these people all the time, and their lives are intertwined with your own. However, I strongly suggest you still try to keep some boundaries. There's a difference between being there for someone and holding their emotions for them. If you're holding someone's emotions, who will hold yours? In simpler terms, if you're taking care of others, who will take care of you?
You are young, and it's not fair to put so much pressure on yourself. At a certain point, you need to put your own mental health first, Because here's the thing: If a friend cannot get through the hour/few hours/day/week you take to answer a text or be there for them, they are not in a safe space and they need help you are literally unable to provide. You are not a therapist or a professional, and you can't be expected to act like one. If you are genuinely SO worried about someone that you feel your actions could make or break their life, then you need to tell an adult, even if you are afraid your friends will be mad. Why? Because at some point, you will be in the shower, or at a movie, or fucking sleeping, and your friend will need you and maybe make some stupid decision, and you will blame yourself when you shouldn't because your friend needs help you can't always provide. This will end up with both of you being in a bad way. Trust me, I know.
Please, set some boundaries, ask for help from adults if you're genuinely afraid for your friends, and put yourself first sometimes. You're worth the same love you show your friends.
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Hello again! It's advice anon to ask some advice from you...this is more of a question. What do you do when you have writers block or let me me explain it properly....
I have so many ideas but when I go ahead and try write something, I lose motivation/ has a problem to start a oneshot..
Mind you I cannot write under 1k words because I find it too little. So with that how can I stay motivated if I'm not doing anything to try not to lose any motivation.
Sorry if that didn't make sense, I'm slightly tired from work.
Advice - anon
Iāve been feeling a lack of motivation since I finished ShinoMitsu week so Iāve been feeling kind of stuck as well. In this instance, itās good because I have a fresh mind to let you know what Iāve been doing to combat writerās block.
1. If youāve been writing nonstop and have hit a wall, take a couple days off to push away writing completely (unless you think of something for your writing you want to make a note of) and fill that time with other interests. You donāt want to overwork yourself. Coming back with a fresh mind may help.
2. Start by writing the part of the story you canāt wait to write. Even I who would rather write something from start to finish has had to do this recently. Sometimes it helps to write the exciting part and then everything else just kinda falls into place.
3. Set a timer. Maybe write for twenty minutes then do something else for ten. If you find a groove in those twenty minutes, you could reset the timer and keep writing.
4. This could go either way, but it may or may not help to have something on in the background like music, a show or podcast. When Iām writing, I tend to think of all the other things I could be doing instead and if I give myself the illusion that Iām multitasking (because I hardly actually pay attention to whatever I put on) then I find that I can focus on what Iām writing much easier.
I hope some of these suggestions can help you, good luck! š
Hmm well, thatās a good question, Anon. For a guy, there definitely is a difference between being friendly and actually flirting. Being friendly is for everybody, flirting means heās paying more attention to you.
Heās complimenting you more to get a smile out of you or heās telling stupid jokes to make you laugh.
His body language changes too. Playful touches or longer eye contact or standing a little closer to you than he would others.
Is he trying to impress you? Thatās another good sign. A real good sign of interest.
Does he tease you? Thatās another really big sign heās flirting with you.
Does he start conversations with you? Does he give you his full attention? Does he even seem kinda nervous around you?
All of these are really good signs of flirting and showing interest in somebody.
Advice anon- so I used to role play on Twitter. It was pretty bad for my mental health because sometimes I couldnāt make friends and was bullied off of accounts and sometimes even fandoms. I role played for years. I stopped a couple years ago after going to Italy during the summer. I returned to that account months later and was completely bullied off of it. It was a sort of ārelapseā. I want to go back because I love it but I donāt know what to do. I was honestly kind of addicted to it
Hi baby! So I actually also used to/still rp but I do so on different sites. I donāt know what the environments like on Twitter but I can tell you with 100% certainty that the rpc on any platform is going to be a toxic place. If you really like to rp, I would suggest finding a group of 2-3 friends that you enjoy writing with and that you trust and just writing with them, thatās what I do! But as far as being part of a rpc? I genuinely canāt fathom having the energy or the mental health for that kind of toxicity š„ŗ
Saw people saying Harry looks like a homeless man... I get why he doesn't touch social media lmaooo
People have been awful about Harryās facial hair for years now.....and for what? Heās always looked fine with facial hair and he obviously enjoys having it. And shitting on him on social media isnāt accomplishing anything because I highly doubt he cares what fans think. Itās also just nasty for no reason. I havenāt reblogged the pictures yet, but I think he looks good and I really like the pants heās wearing so thereās that. š
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Pls advice for a baby writer? Do you ever get scared/ overwhelmed/ anxious to write and post fic updates? Because I'm struggling to write cause I want my stuff to be good and don't want to disappoint readers (and disappoint myself either)... I love your writing to the moon and back! Always amazed at your skills and confidence, your fics are some of my favs! So uh yea, did you ever have this or is it just me?
omg yes!! in college i wrote SO much stuff that I didnāt post! I only started posting seriously after I sent my writing to a friend and she liked it and I figured... whatās the harm... because even one kudo or one comment is better than nothing, right? Like, if one person out there reads it and likes it, then Iāve done one good thing, at least.
So I threw some stuff on AO3 and people liked it which I thought was crazy but they did, so then I wrote more. And I found I reallyĀ liked writing.
THen there was a two year period when I didnāt really write at all because of some drama in my life and I didnāt think that I missed it, but I found KRBK and I sat down and I wrote Sun Sets Red which was straight up just me writing for myself- thatās a very personal story for me- but people like THAT, too, and then I wrote more, and more and it gets easier the more you do it.
and yeah not everything I do is great! a lot of it doesnāt get posted anywhere at all! but anybody who creates perfect stuff all the time is a liar.
itās all just practice- a practice in doing the work itself, in the writing, but also a practice in learning to like your own stuff, and in putting it out there-
i STILL get anxious like i wrote that kiri pov chapter and posted it last night and then went to bed and just laid there like IS THAT TOO MUCH DID I FUCK UP WHAT IF I DID IT WRONG AND PPL DONT LIKE IT
BASICALLY my advice is write something that YOU are happy with and then post it. because posting is free and the odds of somebody being mean are like. very low. but the odds of someobyd else out there enjoying it and sharing what u felt while writing it are really good !!!
Hi. I am the advice anon and I am sorry for replying late to your message but I wanted some time to think about it. I wanted to say thank you. Yes it helps a lot and it made me feel a bit better. I am 24 so when you said age didnāt matter, it relieved me a lot. I guess I just donāt know what makes me feel that way. Tbh, I think itās mainly myself but how I feel fluctuates a lot based on what people think of me and itās not very healthy. For example the moment someone compliments me I am over /1
the moon, but when someone says something negative, I start feeling VERY low. Itās a very black and white vision, my emotions are very extreme and I apologise all the time for nothing. The truth is I am scared of being selfish because I donāt want to be egocentric either. I feel like there is such a fine line between low self-esteem and egocentric tendencies... ah idk sorry! But I appreciate your message so much, I wished I had an older sibling who could give me advices like you š thank you /2Also, if itās not too much to ask, how did you figure out what you wanted out of life? Do you have any tips to give? I had a dream since I was very young, but I feel mentally exhausted, I need to put it aside for a while..But it makes me question my existence. Itās horrible but my brain starts making up horrible scenarios that create so much anxiety. Like I am going to stay alone forever and not do anything meaningful... I am so sorry š° you donāt have to answer this and sorry for my English š
Itās very hard because our generation had it in our minds that being negative wasĀ ācoolā at some point i.e. almost everyoneās emo phase they went through, but I think this negative mindset we put ourselves in did a little more than we thought. Iām not saying we did this all to ourselves as we went through our My Chemical Romance phases (see Katie in middle school haha), but just the general air of negativity that most of us have grown up in. Iāve probably heard more oftenĀ āYou shouldnāt do that.āĀ āNo one likes that.ā orĀ āWhyĀ do you like those things?ā So over time, any time someone pays us a compliment of any sort, our minds craveĀ it because we never got enough of it, so the next time someone says something negative again we think,Ā āOh, yea, youāre right. Iām not good enough for that.ā because weāve been told our whole life that we werenāt and we fall back into the spiral of self doubt.Ā
For the apologizing thing, weāve all done, we all still do it. When Iām talking to someone I think about what Iām going to say in situations where there is a disagreement of some sort OR if Iām talking about something Iām passionate about that I know the person really isnāt into; so when I start to say,Ā āIām sorry.ā orĀ āIām sorry, but...ā and then try to defend whatever it is Iām talking about, I ask myself,Ā āDid I do anything wrong?ā And if the answer is no, I neverĀ say sorry. And by that, Iām not saying if you were wrongfully mean to someone that you think deserved it then you shouldnāt say sorry, but if someone has wholeheartedly wronged you, if they have insulted your character, passions, or just something about you, do not tell them sorry. You are giving that other person permission to alwaysĀ do these things to you and thatās not right.Ā
I donāt find being selfish as egocentric. If youāre egocentric then you have NO regard for anyone else but yourself. If youāre still kind, generous, and a good friend but also looking out for yourself in terms of your mental health and well-being, then you will not be egocentric. Be selfish in a way thatās healthy. You were not put on this earth to make others happy above yourself. At the end of the day, you have to live with the decisions you make and most importantly you have to live with you. As someone has recently asked me about a decision that I questioned she asked me,Ā āDoes it bring you peace?ā And even though the situation I was in was far from life changing, it made me change my perspective. So now any time Iām trying to figure out a situation for myself I always hear her asking me if it has brought me peace.Ā
Even to this day, Iāve doubted a series of decisions Iāve made throughout my life regarding what I wanted out of it. Iāve done so many different things and Iāve never really settled on anything, jumping to the next adventure. Seeing all of these people around me getting jobs they seem to enjoy and sticking with it made me feel inferior to them. They could do it so why couldnāt I? Then I think back on the things Iāve done and how I wouldnāt change a thing about it. Iāve gone out and done things I would never dream of doing, Iāve made so many friends, and experienced things a lot of people have never gotten to do.Ā
If you have a dream, work towards it. Sometimes passions come out of strange places. Iām working on teaching English overseas, something I never thought I would do or even thought of doing it until someone casually mentioned it to me after I talked about my interest in travelling.Ā
But to let you in on a secret, I donāt know where Iām going in life and sometimes thatās excitingĀ because I donāt know what is going to happen next. I have stability, no doubt, because I still need to be responsible but as far as a career or life goal goes, I just know whatās going to make me happy in this moment or in the future. If I can get there, accomplish it, and itās something I want to stick with then even better. If I accomplish it and itās not what I thought it would be thatās also okayĀ because Iām not limited to one thing in life. There are endless opportunities for me out there and thatĀ is what excites me. Reaching goals, overcoming them, going beyond, and moving to the next thing are all good things. Donāt let people make you think you have to find that one niche in the world and stick to it. Whatever makes you happy, do it.Ā
Donāt apologize for your English, you did perfectly, and Iām always here if you need me.Ā ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
