#adsher

I saw it happen so many times before my eyes I learned how to understand when someone is doing either of the two

It's easy to love my sweetness, my kindness, my good days, my jokes, my touches, my voice...

But it is not easy to enjoy my darkness, my mood swings, my anger, my pain...

I am so much more than what people see and think of me

I am happiness

I am pain

I am fun

I am the game

I am progression

I am regression

I am the problem

Sometimes solution

At days sun

At nights moon

I am the one misread, misunderstood

You may love me

You may hate me

You may be blinded to me or for me

But never love me fully

I could tell you

A sweet love story

But right now

I’m sorry

I left you hanging

With a heart broken into pieces

And I never thought

That they would try to

Tear our love apart

Only if I could

If I could go back in time

I promise

I would make it all alright

But I can’t

I can’t do that

Do you at least remember?

Do you remember?

All of our memories together?

Now they will keep you safe

I’m sorry

I’m so sorry

I broke it all

And now...

I can only hope

Hope that you can find

She turned herself against me

Took away my demons

Ripped my soul away

She laughed at my face

For the last time

She was better then me

As the angel whispered

I could have it all

She came

And she took it all away

I felt myself

Going cold

As my back hit the wall

I could feel myself bleeding

But this time it wasn’t from the heart

As you held the knife against my throat

I was ready for you

Waiting for you

To leave a scar

Where I can remember

Maybe because deep down I knew how things would go

It feels like I saw the future and I hurt before it ever happened so I wouldn't feel the pain as much

I tried to better myself but it was a inevitable situation

Deep inside my mind I had the various hypotheses and reasons

How and why, like they had cuffed themselves together to the point they became one

I am not blaming anyone for what was destined to happened

All that happened to me...

All my mistakes...

All my problems...

All my darkness...

Who would want something so broken?

Who would want me completely?

Me as a whole...

Not just the good but also the bad that comes with it...

I can't see who would be brave enough or patient enough to stick around...

Because even I want to break up with myself

I was no different than the others

Loved during the moonlight

Forgotten in the daylight

It was all a mesh of lies picked from previous situations

Just like a bucket full of roses and frustrations

Love? What was love but lies coming from your mouth

What were the promises done by you?

Empty words that always came through

False expectations in every view

It shouldn’t have surprised me the moment you said things would change

Everything always changes quickly for you as it was in disarrange

You always said you wanted consistency

Now you’re a story teller without responsibility

How can you ask for me to stay

When all you did was pull away

Didn’t give me a chance to show you I can change

But my heart tells me I love you and you turned away.

And the tears I cry are because I know I should do better but right now I ain't able to

I want to do better but I need you so much closer

Close enough to hold your hand

Close enough to kiss your forehead

Close enough that we can lay in the same bed