#admin: tess

Hey there Jam, it’s Lucifer here!

I’m so sorry to get back to you a few days late, but words cannot describe how happy I’m feeling for you! I am so glad that your dad has finally gotten the unemployment benefits that he deserves and that things are getting back on track for you and your family. That’s really amazing news!

I’m also so glad that you’re making progress with your eating- Instant Breakfast sounds like a great milestone, and I know that you can keep going and finding new foods that you enjoy! It’s also great to hear that you are enjoying life at college. 

It sounds like things are going really well, and you have yourself to thank for that, for being so strong and brave and fighting even when things get difficult. You deserve all of these happy times and milestones. Remember, you can always come to me if you need to talk or have more exciting news to share! I’m looking forward to hearing from you, Jam.

Hey there Sushi, it’s Lucifer here. I’m so sorry that things have been rough lately, and that it took me a few days to get back to you. 

I am so, so sorry that this happened to you and that your anxiety has gotten to this point. I want to remind you first off that this is not in any way, shape, or form your fault. You could not have prevented this at all- your anxiety is not something that you could have prevented, and it is completely understandable that upon walking into a room full of new people, those feelings of anxiety were brought to the surface. 

It is up to you know to make sure that you are taking care of yourself both physically and mentally, the first being to make sure that you are eating, sleeping, all the works. Mentally, I want you to make sure that you are taking some time to practice self care, especially following the attack. Make sure that you are reaching out, whether it be to friends, family, a teacher, or a therapist/psychiatrist, anyone you trust, really- for support through this rough time. You don’t have to go through this alone, and you deserve to know that you can go to a support system who cares and who you can trust, and I know that you have to many people in your life who care about you. 

This one panic attack doesn’t take away or invalidate all of the hard work that you have been putting into recovery and being the best person you can be for yourself. I am still so proud of you for all that you have accomplished and for your amazing strength and resiliency and that will never change! This is just a slip, and it is important to remind yourself that you have gotten through this before and that you will again, while making sure to reach out to your resources and your support system to help you through this. 

Next time, it may be helpful to ensure that you have at least one friend or family member who can tag along with you, which could help you feel at ease. But if not, that doesn’t have to stop you from going to this group, which seems to have been really beneficial. You’re a really loveable person with so many great qualities, and I think that if you try your hand at befriending some of the other members, you could feel more at ease before going. I know that can be hard if your anxiety is flaring up, but keep in mind your breathing. Keep in mind that anxiety will pass- it is all about taking that first step and putting yourself out there- it can really pay off in the end, and I know you can do it. 

Let me know how things go, alright, Sushi? I’m here for you. 

Where to begin and when i do know where to go i just chicken out and stay home. Its kinda embarrassing that im 25 and still having this problem. Im not sure why this is and its frustrating. How do i even begin to put myself out there? -oj

Hey there OJ, it’s Ellen again. I’m sorry it took me a little while to get back to you, but I hope that I can help you out some. 

Making friends can take time, especially if you are looking for a meaningful relationship. There is no race to make the most friends in a certain amount of time, and there is no reason to rush yourself. Friendships can develop very slowly, even if its from a few casual conversations or a compliment on someone’s shirt. I know that it can be frustrating, but I know that you are trying your hardest, and that is all that matters.

It doesn’t matter your age- social anxiety affects so many people from so many different backgrounds. It is completely understandable why you are feeling so unnerved and frustrated. But it is good to know and to understand that you are not alone, and that a lot of people are going through the same thing. Getting to know new people after moving to a new place is something really challenging, even if you’ve been there for a couple of months already. If you are really struggling and you feel like you need a leg up, that’s nothing to be ashamed of at all- it can be really helpful and beneficial to seek out the help of a psychiatrist or therapist who can help you figure out why you are feeling so anxious and the best way to combat your negative thoughts. 

Putting yourself out there is really, really, hard. It can feel almost impossible sometimes. But most of the time it is just taking that first step, saying that first hello, that is the hardest part. Once you break that initial barrier, things get a lot easier, so it’s up to you to basically jump off the diving board. I know that is really easier said than done, but a nice compliment or a simple hello to an acquaintance will never backfire. If they don’t return the hello, it’s their loss, and not something to be ashamed of yourself for, so what do you have to do? Really, the only thing you can do here is to remind yourself that you can get through this. Give yourself positive mantras. Start small, from saying hello to the person in the cubicle next door or complementing the barista’s nails. It gets easier as time goes on, but it’s up to you to make that first step. Therapy, like I said before, can be really helpful in terms of combating negative thoughts- so many people reach out for professional help every day, so there is no shame!

Think of it this way, OJ- you already put yourself out there by coming to talk to me. That’s an amazing first step! And I know that you can grow and build on that- you just have to believe in yourself too. Check back in and let me know how things are going, alright?

Hey there OJ, you’re talking to Ellen. Thanks for reaching out to me!

I want you to know first off that you are NOT alone in this- a huge number of people struggle with social anxiety and fears of talking to other people. It can be especially tough when you have just moved from a new place. It is totally understandable that you are feeling nervous/afraid- it is possible that you need some time to adjust to your new surroundings and settle in.

What you are going through now is something that so many people go through each and every year, month, day, whatever- moving is really hard on a lot of people, but it is awesome that you want to make friends. I’m not sure of your age, but school/work could be a great place to start, especially as the new school year rolls around, a lot of people will be adjusting to a change in schedule in the same way that you are.  

Let me tell you a secret about people, OJ- often times, we are our own worst enemies. Especially in social situations, people have a tendency to focus the most on themselves and how they come across to others, which can lead to us being harder on ourselves that anyone else is. Remind yourself that everyone around you is worried about them- no one is going to pay much attention to your nerves- it is totally normal, especially when meeting new people! Take some deep breaths, and maybe repeat a mantra or two in your head, such as:

This anxiety cannot hurt me.

I am my own worst enemy here- nerves are normal!

I am a loveable person with a lot of good qualities- people want to be my friend!

Even if you’re not feeling super confident, there have been studies that show that having even only 20 seconds of confidence when meeting a new person can make all the difference- and that means to put yourself out there, even for a couple seconds- it can be so worth it. Take a risk, and be the first one to say hello. A conversation starter can be so simple- a simple hello, a compliment on their shirt, even something about the weather. If you’re in school, it could also help to involve yourself in clubs/organizations in which members share a common interest, so it can be easier to start a convo. 

OJ, I know that it can be so hard to put yourself out there. But the anxiety you feel cannot hurt you- it’s up to you to make that first step and put yourself out there. I know that you can do it, alright? You’re a good person with a lot of good qualities, and true friends will see them when you get to know them. Check back in and let me know how things go, alright?

Hey there Cam, it’s Kevin here. I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to get back to you! I hope that I can be a bit of a help here. 

Listen, the first thing that you have to realize is that you are not alone in here- so many kids dread going back to school for so many reasons. It can be a huge challenge, especially after months of summer. It’s good that you know you can come here to vent if you need to- it can be really stressful to get back into the swing of things. I agree with you- keeping relationships that are toxic are only going to make your school year worse. It is up to you to decide what relationships are beneficial to you and your mental health and which ones aren’t. You deserve friends that are going to be there for you during the good and the bad, and I am so proud of you for taking that step to cut off ties with people who don’t make you feel good about yourself and who don’t give you the friendship that you deserve. 

Cam, you know that I’m always here for you, alright? Especially as school is coming up, feel free to come talk about everything and anything that you need to. You’re such a strong person, and I know that you can get through this. You can get through this- you have before and you will again. You know where to find me if you need someone. 

Hey there Sushi, you’re talking to Lucifer here. 

I am so proud to hear that things have been going well lately! I know that you have been putting so much effort into recovery and into being happy and healthy, and it’s amazing that your efforts are paying off. It sounds like you’re really utilizing a lot of positive coping skills, and that is something to be so proud of!

A self help box is a great idea! It could be especially useful on days where things are a little rough- you can remind yourself of all the people who love and care about you and amazing memories that you have had. I’m so proud of you for taking that step for you and your mental health.

Check back whenever you feel like, Sushi- I’m so excited to hear that things are looking up. Remind yourself of the amazing progress that you have made when things get tough- remember that I am always here for you, and that I am so proud of you- I’m not usually one for all that gushy stuff, but I’m so happy to know that things are getting better for you. 

it would have only crushed into the gate?! He is one of the last people that deserved to die and I can’t take it. Caroline

Hey there Caroline, you’re talking to Kevin here! I don’t think of you as ridiculous at all- what you are feeling right now is completely normal and valid, and not something to be ashamed of at all. It’s totally alright to cry, to scream, to grieve. Even if you didn’t know him personally, it is normal and human to grieve over his death, especially because it was so unexpected. 

I know it hurts, and you can let yourself hurt, but you can’t forget to take care of yourself during this time. Make sure that you are taking care of your physical needs, like eating, sleeping, getting dressed, showering, etc. Try your best to have a type of routine to follow, so that you have some sense of normalcy through this rough time. But it is also just as important to have emotional support as well. Let yourself cry when you need to, vent to friends and family, talk to a teacher, guidance counselor, family member, whoever it may be, and ask them for their support through this. Grief is something that you never have to go through alone, and there are people out there ready and willing to help and be a shoulder to cry on. If the grief intensifies, especially over a longer period of time such as a couple of weeks, it may be wise to reach out to a professional, like a doctor or therapist, who can help you work through your negative emotions and thoughts. 

I know that you’re shocked, and I know that you’re hurt. Anton was an actor who was loved by so many people, and it is unfair to see him leave us so soon. But the best thing you can do right now is make sure that you are taking care of yourself physically and emotionally, because you are all you have control of. There is no way to bring him back to life, as upsetting as that is, and it isn’t worth it to think about the what-ifs or how it could have been prevented. It’s important to look towards the future- know that these feelings do pass with time, and that you will get past this. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help- it is completely understandable that you are in shock and in pain, and not something to be ashamed of, You don’t have to work through this alone, and you should know that I’m here with you every step of the way. Stay strong, alright, Caroline? Let yourself grieve, but know that things will get better with time. I’m here for you.

Kevin

and it just sort of went really slow by my house. I was home alone and officially freaked out. They most likely saw me since I had my curtains open and I was peering out because I thought it was my dad at first. They eventually left but now I’m scared. I can barely sleep, and my windows don’t lock so that makes me even more paranoid. My parents are brushing it off but I still have a bad feeling about it. I don’t want to go to the police in case I’m wrong.

Hi there Nancy, you’re talking to Ellen here. Thank you for reaching out to me- I know it must have been hard. 

It’s alright to be scared- your feelings here are perfectly valid, and it’s not fair to you that your parents are brushing this off. This situation is clearly making you uncomfortable, and for valid reasons. You deserve to feel safe in your own home, and you deserve to feel validated for your concerns. 

I would go back to your parents and try talking to them about it again. Tell them that you’re feeling really afraid and threatened, and that you are feeling unsafe. Ask them if they would come with you to fill out a report to send to the police. The great thing is that if you are wrong, and that it is just nothing, you won’t get in trouble- the police are there to help you and make sure that you’re safe. That’s their job, and you won’t be penalized for being cautious. If your parents still aren’t taking you seriously, it may be time to go to the police yourself or better yet, contact another trusted adult, like another family member, neighbor, teacher, counselor, whoever it may be. It may be nerve wracking to tell someone about what is going on, but it’ll be worth it, I promise you. This way, you won’t feel so alone. 

There’s a good chance that this truck is nothing, and that it driving past your house is a sheer coincidence. But it is most important that you trust your gut and reach out for help from a professional to make sure that everything is alright- it’s their job to help you! It is most important that you feel comfortable and safe, and that means reaching out for help. Take notice of details of the car from your window if you can in case you do go to the police and they ask you questions- but never, ever approach the truck, no matter what! 

Everything is going to be alright, Nancy, and it is incredibly smart and brave of you to advocate for yourself when something doesn’t feel right. I want you to focus on taking care of yourself- making sure that you try your best to sleep, even if it means sleeping in your parent’s room for a couple of nights. Trust your gut, and never go against your instincts- don’t let your parents tell you that you’re wrong. I’m here for you through this all. Keep me updated, alright, Nancy?