Mar 8
Not my time blind self seeing it was suddenly 3am last night and fully believing I had fallen out of and then suddenly snapped back into the flow of time.
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Not my time blind self seeing it was suddenly 3am last night and fully believing I had fallen out of and then suddenly snapped back into the flow of time.
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Hey, folks. I hope you're all doing well. It's been a while, so I thought I'd check in. My doctor has now confirmed that I do have ADHD Inattentive Type and has prescribed me something (though we're still working to get my insurance to cover it, which is beyond frustrating, but I digress). So I'm two for two on correctly identifying something and following through to receive a diagnosis. It's a good reminder to myself to always trust your gut. And as a side note, keep advocating for yourself. So many little balls can get dropped along the way. Know yourself and keep paying attention.
I will also turn 40 in four days time! Between having the two little Tomatoes and fighting hard for my mental health, this decade has been a bit of a blur. But I've made it this far, and I feel better in these past couple of years than I have in a long time, so that's a lot to be grateful for. I was also around 25 when I joined the TS2 fandom, so I've been here on and off for 15 years! I've met so many great people here over the years and have had a lot of fun.
SHWC and ADHD
Viewing my life now through the lens of ADHD, it seems obvious that The Sims 2 (and creating Strangetown, Here We Come specifically) has been a hyperfixation of mine, and obviously a significant one. I've noticed that I tend to cycle through a number of recurring interests/fixations that way, and the way I've come back to SHWC several times after long breaks fits with that. I have to factor in depressions and hypomanic periods into that as well, but it does make quite a bit of sense in terms of ADHD traits.
Adding ADHD to the Mix
Hey, thought I’d share a little life update. I was finally able to follow up with my psychiatrist re: the possibility of having ADHD in addition to bipolar and she said the results were “not insignificant” and wants to track my symptoms for a while in relation to my mood cycling (which has greatly improved in recent years) to determine whether we should treat it separately. That seems reasonable, and I’m fairly certain (hypo)mania is a contraindication to stimulant medications for ADHD. But there are other options.
But meanwhile, hey! That’s very validating, and I do think it’s the missing piece in my symptoms, when otherwise not experiencing a mood episode. Excluding the physical hyperactivity, I can easily find examples of almost every ADHD trait in my life, some quite prominent (especially rejection sensitive dysphoria, time blindness, and understimulation). I'm doing a lot of research on my own, looking for lifestyle tips and strategies for dealing with it. I'm always up for book reccs if you've got any! I'm thinking ADHD 2.0 looks good, and it came out very recently, so probably has current research.
We're also in full lockdown again after over six months of virtually eradicating the virus from our island (only travel cases, which were contained through isolation and contact tracing), because of an outbreak with a more aggressive variant. It's not terribly fun (hey understimulation!) to spend most of my time managing online school for the little Tomatoes, but I'm adjusting. I know a lot of you out there are going through the same thing, and for much longer than I have, so hang in there! We're gonna get through this.