#adhd ramble

So. I would have the chance to get adhd creative coaching. The art teacher from my current class is both (obviously a creative and) adhd diagnosed and licensed as an adhd coach. With being unemployed starting next week, I'd have the time. With my current job ending, it would actually be a fucking great time. I wouldn't need an official diagnosis either. It would feel less intimidating than going the official route of getting diagnosed (tbh I'm so scared that they'd be like, nah, you're not adhd, you just suck 🤷) and finding therapy (don't worry, I know the difference between coaching and therapy). I liked her in the art class. The only down sides are

- it's really expensive (I mean it's a very okay normal amount of expensive, but it's a lot of money and see above I'll be unemployed until I find something new and I'll probably earn much less money than before)

- part of me is worried she won't tell me anything I don't already know, so it'll be a wasted hour amount of savings going into this

- and really I'm just chicken. I'm scared. I'll spend half of the time crying. And I feel pretty irreparable.

But then I'm thinking: yeah it's a lot of money but if I wanted to I could afford it. It would suck but I could. And the timing is kinda perfect? And I like her. It's in my area. It's literally like the universe is handing me this opportunity on a silver plate. It feels like I *should* be trying this, for real.

I guess I'll ask her for the pre-chat-for-questions, and then decide.

can i ask how you figured out you had adhd?(did i spell it right?) and do you have any tricks to making yourself get up and do whatever you got to do?

Wepl, get ready for a rant, because hyperfixations (past and present) are a surefire way to be blab for half an hour.

So, I don't remember 100% /how/ I got diagnosed, It was when I was about six and a half.

Mostly, my mother was Just this side of being an helicopter parent, and she noticed the signs pretty soon. There were many signals, I started to speak later than my sister did, then had problems with pronouncing letters like "r" "s" and "t" despite completely understanding the difference between the words they were used in, used to put my feet wrong which would cause me pain, had bad posture (which would also cause me pain), was extremely energetic in comparison to other kids, would zoon out in the middle of something and become almost completely detached from reality for minutes at a time, would start multiple somethings and leave them incomplete (way more than Is normal for the average kid), when I read out loud, if I misread a Word once, then rereading the exact same passage and helping I'd realize the mistake was a lost cause, my hand to eye coordination was in the negatives, I would bump into things, drop things and stuff like that. Also many more things that don't come ti mind right now.

Because of that I've been misdiagnosed/suspected of having autism (that one also because I have Always liked math, and I think the teachers were a bit too much into the cliché), epilepsy (theory busted with a three day long electroencephalogram), dyslexia, dyslalia and I think I'm forgetting something but want to finish this before tomorrow.

Long story short, each and every single one of those symptoms was because of adhd.

Wrong footing and posture? Distracted.

Same mistake at reading repeatedly? Distracted.

zooning out in maybe low key seizures? Hella distracted.

Couldn't stay still if I tried, no matter classes events or social expectations? Hyperactivity.

Mum noticed It all.

She asked doctors and brought me to visits (I remember a ton of them as a kid, probably why I've always been comfortable in hospitals).

At 6.5 years I had a first diagnosis, but was struggling like Hell at school and barely scraping by (yes in my freaking First year of school I spent more time studying than hanging out with friends with little results).

Lucky me, we live in range of the leading institute and one of the only three in Italy. So when a pediatric psychologist suggested a check up there It wasn't too problematic.

Did some tests. One of the ways to officially determinate if someone had adhd Is doing an IQ test. There are 4 areas analyzed. In regular people the scores are more or less even, but if you have adhd there should be a considerable difference between two areas and the other two. I scored pretty High (I Just Remember It being fun but whatever), but the difference was there. and here's the diagnosis. Also started taking the prescription (and suddenly I could actually follow the lessons without Major headhache) (that still came studying at home, but was better).

Ok, Just realized this went from rambling to oversharing, so back to the point.

As for the ways to trick executive dysfunction?

Mostly stuff I came up by mixing advice and adapting them to my personality.

Like, I find It extremely satisfying to start something at an even hour (like, I don't know, start to study at exactly 14:30?)

Also having someone in the room with me helps (mostly do this with my sister) (not the best in my opinion because I think that's just a way of using anxiety and fear of judgement, but It Is a way to use It go your advantage and if It works It works).

Also, having a set environment/routine for a set task Is good. Your brain Will associate the two and One Will eventually automatically follow the other. (Stuff like, sofa=relax desk=work no exceptions allowed, or cook-eat-clean as a single unit)

Also, starting a task from the easiest part of the One you like the most Is of help. Just like allowing yourself a short break before the task itself with something you reeeeeally enjoy (a fav song, or One of those heaven sent 15 minutes really well written chapters) (those are honestly perfection for a pre-start break, something short and enjoyable with a predetermined and firm stopping point).

Doing so will stimulates the brain to produce dopamine, the neurotransmitter whose underproduction Is the cause of adhd if I remember correctly (tell me if I'm wrong, I'm going on almost 14 years old Memories for some of this stuff). This way you Will have something ti pull you through the hardest part that Is getting started.

When I have to study when tired I have found that working with music Is sometimes an excellent way to trick my brain into believing I have stopped and blessedly chill out with the headhaches. (Other times I become downright murderous if I so much as hear someone breath, but when It works, It works)

You've probably already Heard about setting alarms and using a timer to help keep the tasks contained, or using a planner to make a schedule, but that would imply One actually remembers to use either, sooo... that One really depends on the person.

Ok, now that I've basically written an essay on the phone and probably set to give someone an aneurysm, I bid you goodnight, I'll add the tags tomorrow, now it's sleepy time!