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Most people procrastinate writing essays because either they dislike writing essays overall or because they dislike their topic. However I DO actually enjoy writing essays and I am fascinated by my topic for the one that I'm supposed to be writing right now (exploring the impact of a lack of leadership in the Children's Crusade). BUT, there is a deadline, which my brain does not like at all. So instead, I am doing things like writing an essay on the history of purple lightsabers.
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A guy I met in class tonight was asking about my book, so of course I rambled about it. But the moment I mentioned that most of the characters are ADHD disasters he started insisting that society around them would naturally find a way to medicate their ADHD. And he could not for the life of him comprehend that their society very intentionally has no need or desire to medicate ADHD with anything more than exercise and following the dopamine. And now I'm fuming...
ADHD brain strikes again. Listening to someone talk about their family memberβs urn and this started playing on a loop in my brain.
My bisexual adhd ass: loves gowns and dresses and makeup, but dresses like a butch all of the time because I own ZERO (0) nice clothes because I went to private school my whole life so I never needed βniceβ casual clothes, and also never wears makeup or jewelry because Iβm SO TIRED and I canβt muster the mental energy to do that EVERY DAY
Well it happened
As often happens when I'm hyperfixated on something, I spent too much time thinking about Neil Gaiman and I had a dream with Neil Gaiman.
All I remember is meeting him at a park and he asked me "What Gods do you pray to?" And I remember being like "That's.......a really good question?"
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The most startling realization of my life has been the fact that for most people, boredom isn't an actual sensation of physical pain, and years later I still find this concept absolutely WILD!
It is currently 12:20am (July 17th) and I am JUST making my second meal of yesterday (July 16th) and then sitting down to finish one essay and actually start another that my entire future schooling and career depend on, which were both due at 11:30pm on the 15th, and my extension I was given was only for 'a day or so'. I have washed my vivance for today down with an entire bottle of MtDew even though yesterday's pill only wore off an hour ago, and am determined to get both of these essays written and submitted by 6am.
Afterwards, I plan to sleep until it's Friday
Please pray for me
The guy that I've been going out with (haven't DTRed and only 8ish official dates over like 5mo so I don't think he's officially my boyfriend, and I'm bad with feelings and love-lives, but neither of us have gone out with anyone else in that time - I've barely had time in my schedule for that much socializing - and we've hung out around uni & church enough that it feels a bit weird to refer to him as just a friend or 'date-mate') and I have been recommending books and movies to eachother, and I was really surprised to like Frieren as I am very particular about which anime I actually like. And then I got to the mirrored lotus semi-proposal bit before realizing that Himmel & Frieren's relationship is supposed to be romantic, and given that it seems that the end of that episode is when Frieren starts to clue into the nature of their dynamic too, I'm starting to clue into why he recommended this series to me...
