“What the fuck is even happening?” Robin said. “Now you know how I felt when you came at me with the powerpoint. Karma’s a bitch.” “You’re a bitch,” Robin mumbled. “Heard that, you little shit.” “You were supposed to.”
Tim’s snarky when sleep deprived (chp. 3)
The Right Substitution is Key by AddictedApple (AO3) Batman – Teen #Canon Divergence #Jason Todd is Batman #Jason Todd is Red Hood #He is both #Good Sibling Jason Todd #Jason Todd Takes Care of Crime Alley | Park Row #Caretaker Jason Todd #Identity Shenanigans #Jason Todd Gaslights the Justice League #I wanna make prev tag a thing #Jason Todd Returns Home #BAMF Jason Todd #Crack #Crack Treated Seriously #Fluff and Crack #Humor #Jason Todd Kills Joker (DCU) #Dead Joker (DCU) #Jason Todd Swears #Bruce Wayne Tries to Be a Good Parent #when he eventually shows up at the end #let Jason Todd be happy #Tim Drake is Robin #Stephanie Brown is Spoiler #Cassandra Cain is Batgirl #Protective Jason Todd #Jason Todd-centric #Competent Jason Todd #Red Hood? More like fatherhood
“The Red Hood has been good for Gotham,” Robin continued. “Crime in Park Row decreased by sixty one percent almost as soon as you showed up, and that’s even taking into account all the crime you commit. Drug overdoses have decreased by twenty two percent in adults and seventy nine percent in minors. Homeless minors are ninety two percent less likely to-”
“Kid,” Jason interrupted. “Enough statistics. What the hell is this about?”
Robin slowly lowered the tablet with his powerpoint presentation and looked up at Red Hood.
“You care about Gotham,” Robin summarised. “Gotham needs Batman. Batman is missing and so is Nightwing. We need you to fill in for Batman.”
“You want me to cover Batman’s patrols?” Jason clarified.
“No,” Robin said. “I want you to be Batman.”
Jason bluescreened.
(Or: Batman and Nightwing mysteriously disappear before Red Hood has even started antagonising them, Robin is desperate, Gotham needs Batman, and Red Hood is Batman-Shaped.)
